My View From Beyond the Gates: Like Ketchup on Crab Legs

Like Ketchup on Crab Legs: A Beyond the Gates commentary by Soap Central founder Dan J Kroll for the week ending April 10, 2026.

Don’t have time to read the entire column? You can now stream an audio/podcast version of this commentary — and it’s totally free. To download or stream it, check out my Spotify page.

As we inch closer to May, Beyond the Gates seems to be setting the stage for a lot of its ongoing plots to explode. In the bygone heyday of soap operas, fans might have to wait a year or more for a storyline to reach its peak. It was all about building the drama and having fans anticipate the payoff. Nowadays, though, the TikTok attention span has viewers wanting resolution immediately — if not sooner.

After months of talk, the cotillion is just weeks away. Jacob and Smitty are getting ever-so-closer to getting the goods on the “red market” blood theft ring. Hayley is on the verge of being revealed as a scammer. And there’s yet another person in the DMV that would love to tell Leslie where she can stick her trust fund.

To help set the stage for the impending dramatic escalation, we got a little backstory on characters — how they met their partners, what inspires and motivates them, and where they hide their passwords.

Do You Know What Today Is?

The week opened with a standalone episode that marked Jacob and Naomi’s undisclosed-year anniversary. I saw some complainers on social media call this a throwaway or skippable episode. I wholeheartedly disagree.

Of all the couples that we met or learned about in the first few episodes of Beyond the Gates, I think we knew the least about Jacob and Naomi. At least until this week. Prior to the standalone episode, we knew that Jacob and Naomi enjoyed a healthy sex life and both had (at least at one point) agreed that they did not want to have any children. When Naomi left her rings in the restroom at Orphey Gene’s, we also learned that Naomi’s wedding ring had partially been crafted using Jacob’s grandmother’s melted-down necklace.

Other than that? It was all pretty much a mystery.

Thanks to some newly created flashbacks, we got to learn the origin story of “Jacobi.” That’s apparently the smoosh name that folks have given the couple on social media. Since Beyond the Gates didn’t exist yet when Naomi and Jacob met… Whoa. That’s very “sound of one hand clapping” meta.

Anyway, before I get metaphysical and start asking people to “Kahl mee nowww” for psychic advice let me get back on track.

Picture It… DMV… 2000something

The show cleverly used Naomi visiting with bestie Ashley and momma Dani and Izaiah dropping by Jacob’s undercover hotel room to get both sides of the story told. It would appear that it was love at first sight for both Naomi and Jacob, but that doesn’t mean their getting together was simple. There was a mention of some other guy and a Manassas Monster truck rally.

Darlene Hawthorne seems to be a very tough nut to crack. She doesn’t like Eva (more on that later) and she also didn’t seem to like Naomi all that much either. I wonder if it’s just a case of an overprotective mother thinking that no one is good enough for her baby. Either way, she pressed Naomi on every aspect of her life. In her later meeting with Eva, (again, more on that in a bit), Darlene held the Dupree family up as the wonderful family that everyone aspires to be. When she first met Naomi, however, Darlene seemed to think the Duprees were full of themselves.

Did I miss exactly what went down to get Darlene and Naomi on the same page? Whatever it was, the two women are now lunching at Orphey Gene’s together and bonding over their mutual concern for Jacob and his undercover mission.

My favorite moment in the flashback was the proposal. Jacob had an entire Dupree-worthy proposal in place, but Naomi didn’t want to leave the house. In a moment of improvisation and possible annoyance, Jacob tossed rose petals on the bed with Naomi still in it. Lumpy, but still effective. He then dropped to one knee and professed his love to his bonnet-wearing wife-to-bed.

The Anniversary Massacre

As the happiness and lovey-doveyness wound its way through the episode, I admit that I could not fully enjoy it. I was anxious the entire time, convinced that something bad was about to happen. Even as the episode ticked into its final seconds, I just knew that we were going to hear the sound of a gunshot or see someone shank Jacob.

Wait… do you hear that? Is it? It is! It’s the hypocrite alarm!!!

I was really glad that nothing bad happened in the anniversary episode. Let’s face it, the last time Beyond the Gates had someone celebrating an anniversary everything went to hell in a handbasket. I do think that there was a small part of me that was annoyed that the episode ended without anyone getting hurt.

Another Week, Another Double Date Debacle

I like when a soap opera gives us a little something more than what we expected. That was the case with Eva’s “Meet the Parent” luncheon with Izaiah and Darlene. Since we’d seen the “flashback” episode the day before and learned how Darlene handled meeting Naomi, I had a pretty good feeling that this wasn’t going to go smoothly.

For the most part, Eva was respectful. She told Darlene that she wanted their meeting to be at the country club so that they could have a nice meal. Darlene came in… what’s the next level above coming in hot? Rather than comment on the meal, Darlene commented that it “must have been nice” to be able to pay for the meal with the money Anita Dupree put into the blind trust. Yikes.

Eva looked absolutely terrified – and Darlene wasn’t done. After blasting Eva and LSD (that’s Leslie/Sherry/Dana) as a modern-day George and Weezie, Darlene brought up the debacle that transpired at Ted and Nicole’s anniversary party. Eva tried to explain herself, but she didn’t get much of a chance because at that exact moment Leslie showed up unexpectedly.

Eva tried to politely get rid of her mother, but Leslie morphed into Jennifer Holliday and made it clear that she was not going anywhere. As LSD griped about anything and everything, Eva tried to turn the heat down by putting a positive spin on things. There was a brief moment when it seemed that Eva might have scored some points, but that was all shot to hell when LSD referred to Ted as her “Teddy bear.”

Location, Location, Location

I was waiting, waiting for Darlene and Leslie to go at it. Darlene doesn’t seem to be one to hold her tongue, so I thought for sure that things were about to go off the rails. Based on what we saw of how Izaiah and Elon got into it at Jacob and Naomi’s wedding, I am guessing that Darlene didn’t want to make a scene at the country club.

There was another mini-interaction between LSD and Darlene a few days later at Orphey Gene’s. Again, Darlene mostly took the high road. Whatever road she takes, though, I hope she keeps an eye in her rearview mirror for a psycho on a motorcycle.

Darlene was totally wrong for her insinuation that it was noble of Ted to allow Eva to call him “dad.” Like Leslie pointed out, Eva is Ted’s daughter so there is no reason why she shouldn’t be permitted to call him dad, daddy, pops, father, or whatever other title she might want to give him.

I know Darlene and LSD will cross paths again. So I will just continue to wait for the pressure cooker to explode. It’s coming… I can feel it!

She Said, She Said

In year two – sorry, Season Two – of Beyond the Gates, you can tell that the producers and editors are settling into their positions. While there was a bunch of pressure last year to get the show off the ground, in 2026 the creative teams are now perfecting their craft.

What specifically am I talking about? Nicole and Vanessa telling Kat and Dani, respectively, about how the big double date went.

The back-and-forth editing of the Wednesday, April 8, episode was spectacular. This wasn’t just a case of having segments of scenes showing the two women talk about the date. The edits were done so that the scene split when Nicole and Vanessa were using the same word — often the scene flipped mid-word. It also provided a nice juxtaposition of how each woman assessed the double date from hell. Truth be told, they both seemed to be on the same page.

I don’t think the scenes would have worked nearly as well if they had been shown separately or in a less “spliced” way. This was a perfect example of how a director or producer can make a creative choice that greatly enhances the viewing experience. I think it was very well done.

And Then It All Fell Apart

What wasn’t so great was the confrontation between Nicole and Vanessa at the end of the week. Vanessa was way out of line for saying the things that she said. She accused her best friend of going “Dupree” on Joey and judging him for not being as educated or coming from a pedigreed background. Where did that come from?!

I like Vanessa so I want to give her some grace, but that hasn’t been easy. I still think Vanessa’s actions are all being driven by grief. She couldn’t save Doug, so she’s now trying to overcompensate. She was with Joey when Doug died, so now Vanessa feels she needs to do everything she can to legitimize her relationship with Joey. If the relationship isn’t as great as she says, then Vanessa was out of the country having meaningless sex when her husband died. I don’t think Vanessa wants that to be the case.

Yes or No

Meanwhile, Deanna is back in town. Instead of going to patch things up with her mom, she headed to casino for a little chat with Joey. Remember in last week’s commentary when I said that Deanna didn’t have a “chill” setting? Well, I was wrong. Deanna was decidedly low-key when she dropped by the casino. She agreed to give Joey a chance to prove himself – even though I think that was mostly Deanna trying to set him up.

By the end of the episode, Deanna did get closer to that 100% setting by asking Joey if he and Vanessa were having sex before Doug died. She told him she didn’t want a story or explanation. She wanted only a one-word response: yes or no. Will Joey know this is a trap and lie like Vanessa did… or will he tell the truth and score points with Deanna while torpedoing any chance of Deanna and Vanessa reconciling?

Wise-ing Up

Well, well, well… A week after reminding all of you how you’d labeled Bill a big, clueless dummy he’s proved you wrong. He isn’t completely clueless after all. Just mostly clueless.

Last week when they showed the preview of Tomas turning in his resignation, I was wondering how Bill would respond. I’m not surprised that Bill didn’t want to lose his newest junior partner. As Bill said, he invested a great deal of time mentoring and teaching Tomas how to be a better lawyer.

What was a surprise was Bill blurting out that he was beginning to believe that Tomas was right about Lynette being up to no good. And you could have knocked me over with a feather when Bill stated that he thought the mugging might have been staged.

Bill was sooooooo close. He was teetering on the edge of making all the naysayers dummysayers have to eat their words. But alas, Bill believes that his loving wife is the victim. Technically, I suppose he’s right since Lynette is sort of blackmailing Hayley. Bill just hasn’t put the pieces together to realize that Hayley is also conning him.

The Con-Con Dance

It has been kind of fun watching the wheels fall off of Hayley’s scheme. She thought she’d be done with Lynette once she got the embezzlement charges tossed. Nope. Lynette now wants an even bigger pay day – one that seems to be in the seven digits. I should have known that Lynette gave in way too easily when she agreed to take Hayley and Bill’s money and exit the DMV. But as soon as Vanessa started talking about penthouses with someone who wasn’t immediately being shown on-screen… I knew it was Lynette.

Mama Said Knock Yourself Out with Garlic and Ginger

Um… that lawsuit filed against Madison sure did come out of nowhere.  The interesting thing is that it didn’t really. The stage was set for this months ago – back around Thanksgiving – when Madison and Chelsea got into their first real fight over Madison’s mom, Willow.

Madison mentioned how her mother would invoke her name when giving out her “woo woo” medical advice. It seemed innocuous at the time. I guess that proves the old saying that everything happens on a soap opera for a reason.

I can’t imagine that Madison and her mother are going to see their relationship get fixed any time soon. Madison’s reaction was… interesting. She was understandably worried about her career, but her mind first went to postponing her wedding so that Chelsea’s assets wouldn’t be part of any settlement or judgment. That would not have been my first thought.

I think I might be more angry about the situation than Madison. It’s infuriating that someone can post something on the Internet, say that so-and-so said this, and the person being wrongly quoted is on the hook rather than the person who made the false post in the first place. Secondly, it is maddening that anyone would read a random blog post and take it as sound professional advice. My third cousin’s ex-wife’s aunt said that… No. Just no. Are we so lost that we just believe everything someone says without doing any kind of critical thinking? That’s rhetorical so you don’t have to answer.

I Object! Withdrawn.

When Bill and Naomi debated the best way to handle the lawsuit, I found myself getting a little sad. I realize that this was probably as close as we will ever get to seeing father and daughter square off in a courtroom.

Then an unexpected miracle happened: Bill asked if he could be Naomi’s co-counsel. I still don’t think we’ll ever see a courtroom set, but a boy can dream, right?

June Bloom

If you’re a longtime reader of this My View From Beyond the Gates column, you’ll know that June was not one of my favorite characters when she first showed up on the canvas. Since that time, though, she’s grown on me and I now look forward to every June sighting.

Jasmine Burke continues to impress me. She’s such a versatile actress. She does silliness and seriousness equally well. I often rewatch her scenes when she’s in the background because I like to watch her facial expressions as she listens in on other people’s conversations.

The Friday, April 10, episode was some of Burke’s finest work. I liked watching June go from adamantly opposed to going to the cotillion, to calmly explaining why she didn’t want to go, to eventually agreeing to go because it meant so much to Samantha. There was an entire story arc in just one episode. It was hands down something that Burke needs to have on hand when Daytime Emmy season rolls around next year. [NOTE: All material that airs in 2026 will not be eligible for Emmy consideration until 2027.]

I will admit that I got a little in my feels when June started crying and she and Samantha hugged. But then I thought to myself, “I hope nobody is sitting at Orphey Gene’s waiting to place a food order.”

Beside, Behind, and Beyond The Gates: The Speed Round

Here are some of the thoughts and observations about other things happening on Beyond the Gates.

ChelseaKat Fight

I was wildly entertained by Chelsea and Kat squabbling over their perceived belief that they didn’t land the Fenmore account. They rapid-fire blamed each other for all the things that they thought tanked the deal. To Chelsea, Kat’s yawn-inducing financial report was the reason. Kat, on the other hand, thought Chelsea’s PowerPoint presentation wasn’t on point.

Fast forward a few scenes and Naomi (with Anita in tow) broke the news that the two young entrepreneurs had, in fact, landed the deal. After some celebratory dancing and screaming, there was a messaging shift. Chelsea praised the spectacular financial report that Kat had delivered. Kat downplayed her role and applauded Chelsea’s stellar PowerPoint presentation.

Later, most of ChelseaKat’s family gathered at Uptown to celebrate the big business deal. The celebration also provided a few messy moments, some sass, and… maybe a tease or two. Moments after Kat gave Bill a piece of her mind, Hayley got an(other) eyeful of Dani and Bill being unusually friendly. Across the room, another pair of former spouses, Nicole and Ted, looked happier than ever as they took in their daughter’s big moment. It didn’t take long for social media to predict that a Richardson reunion was on the way.

All of this was a really nice example of the range viewers can expect in any given episode of Beyond the Gates. And this wasn’t even the only storyline shown on the show that day.

Do As I Say, Not As I Do

Remember when Martin and Smitty’s seemingly solid marriage nearly fell apart because of all the lies Martin told and the secrets that he kept? Less than a year later, the roles have been reversed. This time around it’s Smitty who is doing the lying.

I understand that Smitty has been out of work for a bunch of years while he stayed home to take care of the kids, but that doesn’t give him permission to throw himself in harm’s way because he wants to break what could be an award-winning story.

It will be interesting to see how Smitty defends his actions when it inevitably comes time for him to talk about what he’s been up to for the past three-ish months.

You Might Need a Few More Cotillion Etiquette Classes

Samantha’s got a mouth on her. We heard it before when she wished that she’d never been adopted by Martin and Smitty. Now, June is on the receiving end of all that lip. I understand that Samantha wants her mom to be at the cotillion, but it was shocking to hear how she tried to get her point across.  “For once, can you stop thinking about yourself and just be there for your kids?” she snapped. Damn.

Was Samantha’s mouthiness a result of Donnell admitting that he once had a big crush on Chelsea? It’s been clear that Samantha has a crush on Donnell since she first learned that the Banneker Man would be her escort to cotillion. Is this unrequited crush enough to get Samantha to spiral or is there something more going on?

Those were my thoughts when I first started making notes for this week’s column. When Friday’s episode aired, we got a little more insight into why Samantha went off thanks to Grandma Nicole’s “head shrinking.” It seems that June rejecting the invitation to the cotillion brought back a whole wave of feelings of abandonment for Samantha.

That surprised me a bit, since it seemed like Samantha had been able to close that chapter in her life by reuniting with June. I guess you never know when a past trauma will rear its head and turn your world upside down.

Grandpa’s Pipe Game

Speaking on how I was raised, I cannot imagine any world where I asked my grandfather to sit down so I could get advice about my sex life. But that’s exactly what Martin did with Vernon. It got even more cringey when Martin assured his gramps that he was gettin’ it in, but wondered how to free up even more time in his schedule so that he could get to sexing even more frequently.

I love that Martin is able to discuss his relationship openly. However, I have to think that there were other people that Martin could have had that discussion with. Actually, now that I think about it… does Martin have any friends? I feel like we’ve only ever seen him with family or work colleagues.

This could be a record, but… I hear that noise again. It’s a record-setting second hypocrite alarm!

For as much as I was uncomfortable hearing Martin ask Vernon for romantic advice, I laughed loudly when Anita told Dani about the “toe-curling” sex that she and Vernon used to have after being apart from each other due to their work schedules. She even stepped it up a notch by asking Dani how she thought she and her sister had come to be.

Before anyone comes at me with the pitchforks, I think the hangup for me here is the generation gap. Maybe the kids nowadays (or at least those younger than me) don’t see age limits on who you can talk to and what you can say.

BTG: Behind the Graphic

If you are wondering what on earth the header image for this week’s column means, you’re in luck. I know the guy who put it together. And yes, “the guy” is me.

The Fenmore bag is a nod to ChelseaKat landing a deal to get their products in the department store. The crab leg (with ketchup!) refers to June’s comment that she’d be out of place at the cotillion like ketchup on crab legs. The garlic and ginger are the “miracle cures” that Madison’s mom touted on her blog. And the flower is a pansy… or is it a petunia? Either way, June can’t tell the difference between them. (In case you really want to know: it’s a pansy.)

Quick Takes

It was a nice touch having Martin, Smitty, and the kids talk about how Ted used to hide the passwords to his various accounts because he could never remember them. Later in the week, Smitty was able to find the password to Nicole’s work computer because she, too, hid the password in case she ever forgot it.

Speaking of Ted, his shellfish allergy was mentioned again. As I said earlier in the column, nothing on a soap gets mentioned without reason.

It was hilarious to see Samantha get herself worked up at the idea of having a hot bodyguard. When she put that wish into the universe, she should have told it that she wanted a hot male bodyguard. She took it about as well as Leslie did when the city inspector turned out to be a woman.

Does Grayson’s mom exist? It would make sense that his mother’s medical expenses made him turn to the dark side. But could that be a lie? Maybe he’s just a bad person doing bad things.

Was anyone else surprised that Joey dropped the “sneaky link” term when taking to Randy about his dalliance with Lynette? I was equally amused when Randy approved of Joey’s knowledge of current slang by saying that Joey was invited to the cookout.

Beyond the Gates: Lines of the Week

The Beyond the Gates writing team seems to be having a little too much fun. Here are some of the lines of dialogue that tickled my funny bone or that I found memorable over the past week (and haven’t already mentioned in this column).

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“You’ve got it made behind the gates.”
Obviously Lynette does not know what the name of the show is.

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“That’s how I Dupree.”
Naomi explaining that she chose to use her family’s privilege and legacy to defend those less fortunate.

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“I have the rhythm and the moves where it counts.”
Martin defends his lack of dancefloor skills by saying he makes up for it in the bedroom.

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“I don’t know a pansy from a petunia.”
June, when Samantha asked if she should wear a corsage.

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“Negate the Negative Nellies.”
“Are you really quoting RuPaul?”
Dani and Vanessa

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“Somewhere between Bathsheba and King Midas.”
Darlene Hawthorne’s description of Leslie Thomas.

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“I’m gonna check my ID, but I’m pretty sure I wasn’t born yesterday.”
June’s response when Samantha and Tyrell tried to team up to ask her to attend the cotillion.

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“I’ve never seen Hayley as one with too much of the milk of human kindness.”
Joey to Randy as he tried to figure out why Hayley was doling out so much money to Lynette.

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“There’s a special place in hell for scammers.”
I have no idea how Hayley could say this with a straight face — but she did!

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“This is better than sudoku.”
Joey’s deciding that unraveling the Hayley/Lynette connection would be fun without Randy’s help.

Gatecrashers: Reader and Viewer Feedback

I love interacting with other Beyond the Gates fans. So I thought I’d create a section to share some of the comments I’ve received on my columns and social media posts. If you’d like to see your comments shared here, you can scroll down to the Comments section below this column and post away. You can also chat with me on Bluesky, Instagram, Threads, Facebook, and/or TwitterX.

Here’s another viewer who believes it was worth the wait to meet Darlene Hawthorne.

Thankfully, I am not the only one that cringed when Martin talked sex with Vernon. But this viewer’s Nana sounds like a LOT of fun.

I wasn’t the only one doomsoaping during the Jacob and Naomi anniversary episode.

Conspiracy theories abound!

Dani making fun of Hayley’s age will never go out of style.

Pia tracked me down on Bluesky to let me know that she didn’t agree with my assessment that Lynette was too much for Kat to handle. She has some great points — and I want to reiterate that you don’t have to agree with everything I say for me to enjoy interacting with you!

Follow my Random Acts of Dan

That’s all I have for this week’s My View From Beyond the Gates column. Thank you for reading and, as always, please feel free to share your thoughts on my column or Beyond the Gates in the Comments section below.

If you’ve enjoyed my column this week and want to see what I have written about Beyond the Gates in previous weeks, you can check those out in the My View From Beyond the Gates archive.

Have a penchant for gardening, interior design, or fixing up old houses? Check out my Manor Makeover series where I write about all of the things I’ve been up to here at Kroll Manor in Allentown, PA, over the past decade.

To keep up with all of the shenanigans I engage in on social media, please consider giving my a follow on Bluesky, Instagram, Threads, Facebook, and TwitterX.

Life outside the gates

Two of my former Two Scoops columnists from Soap Central, Liz Masters and Tamilu, have joined me here on my personal web site — and they are still writing about General Hospital. Liz is on deck with week with a new column called, Dial K For Killow.

To read more thoughts, opinions, rants, and raves about daytime television, be sure to check out our Editorial section.

dan