Posted inEditorial Soap Operas
General Hospital Commentary: When will Liz be loved?
As summer kicks into high gear, things are heating up in Port Charles. Will Willow be able to break free of Drew's hold? Is Sasha being fair to Michael? Will…
![Skip to main contentSkip to toolbar About WordPress Dan J Kroll 11 update available 11 Comment in moderation New View Post Site Kit LLAR Duplicate Post Howdy, Dan J Kroll Edit Post My View From Beyond the Gates: Rest assured we’re going somewhere · Post Ctrl+K Save My View From Beyond the Gates: Rest assured we’re going somewhere I'm not sure when it happened, but sometime this century fans decided that the writers of television programs and movies have to give them everything they want, when they want it. If they don't, the show/movie the writers either hate the fans or don't know what they are doing. As such, the show/movie is trash. Well, Beyond the Gates honcho Michele Val Jean and I are here to tell you that is not the case. It has always been perversely fascinating to be on the frontline of watching how a wildly passionate fanbase behaves. I, myself, am not someone who has a fanaticism gene. I’ve never given money, for example, to have a banner-toting airplane fly over a television studio to protest an actor’s firing. I have never wanted to burn things or flip cars when my favorite sports team has won (or lost) a big game. I’ve never wanted to camp outside a movie theater for a week to be first in line to get tickets for the big blockbuster movie that’s coming out. For more than 30 years, though, I’ve gotten to see how soap opera fans interact with their favorite shows, the stars of those shows, and the creatives that bring the shows to life. When I started Soap Central back in the 1990s, the Internet was in its infancy and decorum was at its peak. It wasn’t until the Internet became more mainstream more than a decade later that things really start going off the rails. There are plenty of specific events that I could point to, many of which will be in my memoir that I’ll probably never write. There is a more recent one – one that popped up in just the past week – that made me take this weird saunter down the garden path. Beyond the Gates creator, head writer, executive producer, cat wrangler, big cheese, and many-other-hat-wearer Michele Van Jean took to social media to address some uncited comments from viewers that seemed to question how the show comes together. “I love how some of y’all think we don’t plan this shit out. Like we’re flying blind,” Val Jean wrote. “You might not like where we’re going? But rest assured we’re going somewhere.” Not flying blind This column is going somewhere, too, but I’ll ask for a little indulgence as I build to talking about everything that happened over the past week. To be fair, I’ve seen my fair share of soap opera storylines over the years that most definitely seemed like they were not planned out. It was as if they went to an Improv show where members of the audience just yell out random words and phrases and – bam! – story was born. I’ve yet to feel like this has been the case with Beyond the Gates. I think the main reason I feel that way is because the show is brand new. If the reported timeline is to be believed, there was a two-year lead up from the time the show as conceived until it hit the airwaves. That means the creative team, Val Jean included, had ample time to craft the characters, figure out where they wanted them to end up, and how to get them there. That doesn’t necessarily mean that the path would be – or even needed to be – a direct A to Z route. Soaps that have been on the air for decades have a bit more of a challenge. There is no down time for the writers to be able to take that breather, step away from the material, and spit out new ideas and content. Writing five episodes of a show each week is a lot of work. I don’t expect every episode to be perfection. Maybe that’s just me. Professional baseball players are paid squillions of dollars to maybe, hopefully hit a ball one out of every three times they are up to bat. An avenging angel Over the past four months, I’ve had varying thoughts on the Martin’s mystery storyline. When we first learned that Martin was having nightmares because something bad happened, I was incredibly intrigued. My mind started conjuring up as many soap opera tragedies that it could. The more ideas I came up with, the more intrigued I was. Then, there was a switch. Back in early April, I wrote, “We’ve almost gotten to the point where the cloak and dagger teasing runs the risk of overhyping the secret. I think it’s safe to say that a good portion of the audience is yelling, ‘Tell us what the secret is already!’” Never in my grumbly grumbling did I think that the writers had no idea what they were doing with the story. To sidestep a bit, more recently I had noticed that Detective Malone seemed to vanish and the entire corrupt storyline seemed to evaporate with him. I had wondered if the show decided to pivot from that story for various reasons. The following week Malone popped up in story and now we’ve learned that Malone’s apparent corruption might have a whole different spin to it. Everything seems to be colliding together and I am wondering if we’ve been led astray. Will they or won't they? I wondered if Beyond the Gates would feature any storylines dealing with racism and intolerance. It seemed, at least to me, that it would have to be addressed at some point, but I also wondered if recent attacks on diversity, American history, and even a federal holiday might have CBS stepping in to offer “creative suggestions” the way they have with their news division. Creepy McBusboy made it clear that we were going there when he said that he couldn’t be sure if he’d seen Vernon or Martin before because “so many of your people [look] alike.” He made a later remark that, “Black royalty don’t live like the rest of us.” There is also the "what color's your money" line, which I have always assumed had racist undertones. We still don’t know exactly what went down and what Martin’s secret is, but I’m no longer upset about. The storyline has moved at breakneck speed this past week and I’m content to wait a little longer to get all the details. The secret is still a secret... and I'm okay with that But between us, I’ve come up with my latest theory. We’ve learned that Creepy McBusboy is the brother of the person involved in Martin’s secret. There have been several mentions to a tire iron. I’m thinking that Creepy’s brother probably got into some sort of racist road rage incident that ended with a “FAFO” moment. Perhaps Martin got run off the road and got a flat tire. The brother circled back while Martin was trying to fix his flat… a scuffle ensued… and Martin clobbered the brother with the tire iron. I’ll assume that Martin called his grandfather, who then reached out to Police Chief Elon Hawthorne. Jumping to the next conclusion, I’ll assume that Elon roped in Marcel Malone. As a thank you for… whatever happened next… Malone was gifted a cool $500,000. I haven’t figured out yet how, and if, Joey Armstrong is involved. Maybe Joey ponied up the cash so that there wasn’t a large chunk of money suddenly missing from the Dupree family bank account? Possible spoiler alert: The previews for next week reveal that Ted knows about Martin’s secret, something that Martin apparently did not know. That means that nearly every male adult character on the canvas is somehow tied into this storyline. Poor Doug will have to sit this one out. And while Jacob and Smitty weren’t directly involved in the past, they are both currently involved through Smitty’s investigation. This is kind of an unprecedented daytime moment. Alive and kicking ass A week or so ago I was worried that Vernon might be on his way out because of his constant “I’ll always be here” throwaway lines. Now, based on his fiery rhetoric, I am more concerned that he might off somebody. FUNNY ASIDE: I like that in the midst of all the drama, Beyond the Gates finds ways to inject humor. Let’s face it, that’s often how life is. I got a chuckle when Anita called Vernon and told him that she wanted to know everything that was happening while she’d been away. “No, you don’t!” My secret first-time soap watcher and I yelled at the same time. The daddy gauntlet I love love. There never seems to be enough love in the world, so when love does show its pretty little head… I’m happy. Well, usually. I cannot for the life of me figure out how Chelsea and Madison have decided that they are madly in love after knowing each other for 3.5 minutes. I mean, they are the epitome of an old stereotype about women who love women. I’m not discounting their passion for each other – I totally get that. Chadison/Madsea (or whatever their smooshed name is) are hot. But these two are practically talking about getting married and they don’t even know what each other’s favorite Febreze scent is. Not that I want to Doomsoap their love, but I feel like there is more to Madison than meets the eye. She is just a little too perfect. I haven’t figured out what her shifty, sneaky side might be, though. The best I have come up with so far is that she’ll somehow be related to the owner of a rival handbag company… and that’s not exactly compelling drama. Don’t Sissy me As an only child I rely on television and second-hand stories to help me know what it is like to have a sibling. Dani and Nicole’s relationship seems like #siblinggoals – even when they are disagreeing. I understand why Nicole is upset about Dani and Andre sleeping together, even if I don’t think that all of her reasons are sound. I think in Nicole’s heightened emotional state, she sees Dani’s lying about the relationship in a totally different way than she would have had Ted’s affair never come to light. Now Nicole feels like everyone is lying to her and every lie is going to be magnified tenfold. One the other hand, I also understand that with her world upside-down, Nicole feels that she doesn’t have that many people that she can trust. Pushing the lie aside, if Dani and Andre were to have an unamicable breakup, Nicole might justifiably be worried that the relationship that special bond she shares with her nephew could also break. Joy and pain Nicole’s anger did result in a few good zingers. Nicole quipped that Andre is young enough to be Dani’s son. Ouch. With the way that Beyond the Gates plays fast and loose with ages, I have no idea exactly how old Andre is… but I can’t see him being 20ish years younger than Dani. Sean Freeman, the actor who plays Andre, might be the only person on the entire Internet who doesn’t have an age – accurate or fabricated – attached to his Wikipedia page. In fact, he doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page. Another funny moment came when Dani asked if Nicole was jealous of Dani’s sexual relationship with Andre. “Yes, that’s it, Dani. I’m jealous,” Nicole fired back. “I wish I was sleeping with my nephew.” If this is was having a sibling is like, it sounds amazing. However, unless there is some sort of soapy twist in my future, I will still be quiet happy to go through life as an only child. FUNNY ASIDE: I laughed and laughed when Nicole sashayed into the Meet Madison meeting, spotted Madison, and asked, “Is everyone okay? Why is there a neurologist here?” As a teenager, I went to visit a neighbor and was gobsmacked when I saw the priest that I had recently given Confession to sitting on their front porch. I did a quick 180 and tried to scurry away. Your wife is putting the screws to me Vanessa McBride surprised me this week. I never assumed that she wasn’t an intelligent woman. I’ve also never faulted her for having a strong sexual appetite. What I didn’t expect was that she would be as ballsy as she apparently is. The way she conducted business with Joey Armstrong was something of a master class. For weeks and weeks we’ve been led to believe that Joey was the person who, if you’ll pardon the pun, held all the cards. Hapless Doug has done little to prove otherwise. But when Joey sat Vanessa down in the backroom of his casino and shared his vision for how their “business” relationship would go, Vanessa was not having it. None if it. Not even a small piece of it. “There’s nothing in it for me,” Vanessa pushed back. She then turned the tables to demand that Joey drop the “bogus” debt he was holding over Doug and she also demanded a pretty hefty commission from every transaction for both her and Doug. When Joey asked why Doug deserved a cut, Vanessa deadpanned, “I’m unfaithful, Joey, not disloyal.” By the way, that commission she negotiated? Joey offered three-percent. Vanessa insisted it would be six-percent – for Doug – and twelve-percent for her. That was later adjusted to a rounder, prettier to look at 20-percent. That table's not exactly memory foam Things are getting interesting between Doug and Vanessa. Suddenly, Doug has a sassy mouth. Vanessa assured her hubby that she wouldn’t end up in any legal trouble and promised to cover her “sweet derriere.” Doug replied, “I thought you worked better with it uncovered.” Earlier, when Vanessa explained that she and Joey would have their business meetings in empty houses, he grumbled, “Remember to leave the bedroom like you found it.” Doug is very hard to root for. He's wishy washy and a little bland. I don't know if his sudden growth of backbone will be enough to draw me in. Meanwhile, Joey's double entendres are the absolute best. They are made even more entendre-y by the delicious delivery from Jon Lindstrom. The fact that Joey could say to Doug, "Your wife is putting the screws to me" -- with a straight face, no less -- should earn him some sort of award. This diamond ring doesn't shine for me any more I didn’t have this on my bingo card, but I’m actually siding with Derek in his whatever it is with Ashley. Ashley has become unhinged. Her reactions to everything are completely over the top and it’s not a good look. Ashley tore into Naomi – her best friend – and accused her of buying the engagement ring that Derek proposed with. Seriously?! In what universe does that even make sense? Ashley’s reaction to the proposal also still bugs me. I’m fine that she didn’t accept. Accepting a marriage proposal out of some sense of obligation is never a good thing. Is Ashley trying to deny that she has feelings for Andre? Okay, you had a sex dream about Andre. Who hasn't? There is a big difference between finding someone attractive and wanting that person as a life partner. I don't find Derek particularly interesting, but that doesn't mean that he is not absolutely perfect for Ashley. Is she willing to McBride away (that's Beyond the Gates speak for gamble) relationship because she wants a little (or a lot, according to Dani) of Andre? Redrawing the paperwork As I said earlier in the column, I know that Nicole is hurting. I know that Nicole feelings betrayed. She feels betrayed because she was betrayed. And I am not going to tell Nicole how she should feel... so I will circumvent the hypocrisy that by telling her how she should not feel. It hasn't been all that long since the anniversary party that shall live in infamy. It feels to me that Nicole is rushing into making major life changes, something she would probably advise her clients not to do. Thankfully, she hasn't moved on to divorce papers yet, but it certainly feels like that isn't that far off. Nicole should not feel like her entire marriage was a lie. Part of it was, but I think that when Ted moved on from his relationship with LSD (Leslie/Sherry/Dana), he truly moved on from that relationship. It seems like Ted has been tenaciously devoted to his family ever since... and his involvement in the Martin secret will probably prove that. I just hope that if and when Nicole learns about Ted's involvement, she doesn't hold that against him and run straight back to her attorney's office for divorce papers. Beyond the Gates Speed Round Here are some rapid fire thoughts about some of the other action from the week gone by. Smitty finitty? There has been a lot of online chatter that Mike Manning, who plays Smitty, is on the way out. I suspect it started because Smitty has been getting nosy and someone used that to speculate that Smitty might be killed off. Manning took to social media to shoot down the rumor that he's exiting Beyond the Gates and to ask that supposedly sites claiming to be legit stop with the making stuff up. All I've got is a photograph I'm still in my June Gloom phase with June, but the actress playing June is absolutely killing it. She's equal parts neurotic, funny, and heartbreaking. It could all be a red herring, but I am more convinced than ever that she is Samantha and Tyrell's biological mother. Why? That photo that she cases so much about is a photograph of two children. The photo was shown briefly, but it appeared that the faces of the children in the image were rubbed off. That would explain why neither Naomi nor Jacob had any reaction when they saw the photo. Vegetables and vagina Just days after trying to kill post-stroke Bill with her good-good, Hayley is now serving Bill a breakfast that even my rabbit wouldn't want to eat. I am mildly amused that Bill's daughters are slowly warming back up to him... while still giving Hayley a hard time. Dani, to a lesser degree, also falls under that category. When Andre rhetorically asked if Dani wanted him to sleep with Hayley, Dani replied with an emphatic no before asking, "What would you want with that trashy, pregnant ho anyway?" Lines of the week The Beyond the Gates writing team is once again having a little too much fun. Here are some of the lines of dialogue that tickled my funny bone over the past week. "It makes me dance when you speak of Bill with loathing" -- Dani "Cards are life. We gamble as we live." -- Joey "And who are you? The Gambling Buddha?" -- Marcel Jacob seems to be getting a lot of funny lines of late. As Smitty tried to link Marcel and Joey together in criminal enterprise via their shared yacht club membership, Jacob noted, "[It's] a long way from sailing together to doing crime together." Tasked with having to act like he doesn't know something might be awry, "I'm not sure Denzel could do all that [acting] and make it believable." Closing the gates That's all I have for this week's My View From Beyond the Gates column. I have to go find a way to get involved in Martin's secret. I don't want to be sitting on the bench with Doug. Of course, I could probably take him for whatever petty cash he carries around in his wallet... so maybe that's not a bad Plan B. I'll be tuning in and I'll continue to share my thoughts on Beyond the Gates as long as you're interested in reading them. Thank you for reading and, as always, please feel free to share your thoughts on my column or Beyond the Gates in the Comments section below. Follow my Random Acts of Dan If you've enjoyed my column this week and want to see what I have written about Beyond the Gates in previous weeks, you can check those out in the My View From Beyond the Gates archive. Have a penchant for gardening, interior design, or fixing up old houses? Check out my Manor Makeover series where I write about all of the things I've been up to here at Kroll Manor in Allentown, PA, over the past decade. To keep up with all of the shenanigans I engage in on social media, please consider giving my a follow on Bluesky, Instagram, Threads, Facebook, and TwitterX. Life outside the gates Block contains unexpected or invalid content. 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Posted inEditorial Entertainment Soap Operas
My View From Beyond the Gates: Rest assured we’re going somewhere
I'm not sure when it happened, but sometime this century fans decided that the writers of television programs and movies have to give them everything they want, when they want…
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General Hospital Commentary: General Hospital is just plain better
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It was an explosive week as Michael and Willow faced off in court -- and Sasha gave birth. Can Nina and Drew keep their secrets from Willow? What happens with…
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My View From Beyond the Gates: It’s where I store my hopes and dreams
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![Skip to main contentSkip to toolbar About WordPress Dan J Kroll 11 update available 11 Comment in moderation New View Post Site Kit LLAR Duplicate Post Howdy, Dan J Kroll Edit Post My View From Beyond the Gates: Rest assured we’re going somewhere · Post Ctrl+K Save My View From Beyond the Gates: Rest assured we’re going somewhere I'm not sure when it happened, but sometime this century fans decided that the writers of television programs and movies have to give them everything they want, when they want it. If they don't, the show/movie the writers either hate the fans or don't know what they are doing. As such, the show/movie is trash. Well, Beyond the Gates honcho Michele Val Jean and I are here to tell you that is not the case. It has always been perversely fascinating to be on the frontline of watching how a wildly passionate fanbase behaves. I, myself, am not someone who has a fanaticism gene. I’ve never given money, for example, to have a banner-toting airplane fly over a television studio to protest an actor’s firing. I have never wanted to burn things or flip cars when my favorite sports team has won (or lost) a big game. I’ve never wanted to camp outside a movie theater for a week to be first in line to get tickets for the big blockbuster movie that’s coming out. For more than 30 years, though, I’ve gotten to see how soap opera fans interact with their favorite shows, the stars of those shows, and the creatives that bring the shows to life. When I started Soap Central back in the 1990s, the Internet was in its infancy and decorum was at its peak. It wasn’t until the Internet became more mainstream more than a decade later that things really start going off the rails. There are plenty of specific events that I could point to, many of which will be in my memoir that I’ll probably never write. There is a more recent one – one that popped up in just the past week – that made me take this weird saunter down the garden path. Beyond the Gates creator, head writer, executive producer, cat wrangler, big cheese, and many-other-hat-wearer Michele Van Jean took to social media to address some uncited comments from viewers that seemed to question how the show comes together. “I love how some of y’all think we don’t plan this shit out. Like we’re flying blind,” Val Jean wrote. “You might not like where we’re going? But rest assured we’re going somewhere.” Not flying blind This column is going somewhere, too, but I’ll ask for a little indulgence as I build to talking about everything that happened over the past week. To be fair, I’ve seen my fair share of soap opera storylines over the years that most definitely seemed like they were not planned out. It was as if they went to an Improv show where members of the audience just yell out random words and phrases and – bam! – story was born. I’ve yet to feel like this has been the case with Beyond the Gates. I think the main reason I feel that way is because the show is brand new. If the reported timeline is to be believed, there was a two-year lead up from the time the show as conceived until it hit the airwaves. That means the creative team, Val Jean included, had ample time to craft the characters, figure out where they wanted them to end up, and how to get them there. That doesn’t necessarily mean that the path would be – or even needed to be – a direct A to Z route. Soaps that have been on the air for decades have a bit more of a challenge. There is no down time for the writers to be able to take that breather, step away from the material, and spit out new ideas and content. Writing five episodes of a show each week is a lot of work. I don’t expect every episode to be perfection. Maybe that’s just me. Professional baseball players are paid squillions of dollars to maybe, hopefully hit a ball one out of every three times they are up to bat. An avenging angel Over the past four months, I’ve had varying thoughts on the Martin’s mystery storyline. When we first learned that Martin was having nightmares because something bad happened, I was incredibly intrigued. My mind started conjuring up as many soap opera tragedies that it could. The more ideas I came up with, the more intrigued I was. Then, there was a switch. Back in early April, I wrote, “We’ve almost gotten to the point where the cloak and dagger teasing runs the risk of overhyping the secret. I think it’s safe to say that a good portion of the audience is yelling, ‘Tell us what the secret is already!’” Never in my grumbly grumbling did I think that the writers had no idea what they were doing with the story. To sidestep a bit, more recently I had noticed that Detective Malone seemed to vanish and the entire corrupt storyline seemed to evaporate with him. I had wondered if the show decided to pivot from that story for various reasons. The following week Malone popped up in story and now we’ve learned that Malone’s apparent corruption might have a whole different spin to it. Everything seems to be colliding together and I am wondering if we’ve been led astray. Will they or won't they? I wondered if Beyond the Gates would feature any storylines dealing with racism and intolerance. It seemed, at least to me, that it would have to be addressed at some point, but I also wondered if recent attacks on diversity, American history, and even a federal holiday might have CBS stepping in to offer “creative suggestions” the way they have with their news division. Creepy McBusboy made it clear that we were going there when he said that he couldn’t be sure if he’d seen Vernon or Martin before because “so many of your people [look] alike.” He made a later remark that, “Black royalty don’t live like the rest of us.” There is also the "what color's your money" line, which I have always assumed had racist undertones. We still don’t know exactly what went down and what Martin’s secret is, but I’m no longer upset about. The storyline has moved at breakneck speed this past week and I’m content to wait a little longer to get all the details. The secret is still a secret... and I'm okay with that But between us, I’ve come up with my latest theory. We’ve learned that Creepy McBusboy is the brother of the person involved in Martin’s secret. There have been several mentions to a tire iron. I’m thinking that Creepy’s brother probably got into some sort of racist road rage incident that ended with a “FAFO” moment. Perhaps Martin got run off the road and got a flat tire. The brother circled back while Martin was trying to fix his flat… a scuffle ensued… and Martin clobbered the brother with the tire iron. I’ll assume that Martin called his grandfather, who then reached out to Police Chief Elon Hawthorne. Jumping to the next conclusion, I’ll assume that Elon roped in Marcel Malone. As a thank you for… whatever happened next… Malone was gifted a cool $500,000. I haven’t figured out yet how, and if, Joey Armstrong is involved. Maybe Joey ponied up the cash so that there wasn’t a large chunk of money suddenly missing from the Dupree family bank account? Possible spoiler alert: The previews for next week reveal that Ted knows about Martin’s secret, something that Martin apparently did not know. That means that nearly every male adult character on the canvas is somehow tied into this storyline. Poor Doug will have to sit this one out. And while Jacob and Smitty weren’t directly involved in the past, they are both currently involved through Smitty’s investigation. This is kind of an unprecedented daytime moment. Alive and kicking ass A week or so ago I was worried that Vernon might be on his way out because of his constant “I’ll always be here” throwaway lines. Now, based on his fiery rhetoric, I am more concerned that he might off somebody. FUNNY ASIDE: I like that in the midst of all the drama, Beyond the Gates finds ways to inject humor. Let’s face it, that’s often how life is. I got a chuckle when Anita called Vernon and told him that she wanted to know everything that was happening while she’d been away. “No, you don’t!” My secret first-time soap watcher and I yelled at the same time. The daddy gauntlet I love love. There never seems to be enough love in the world, so when love does show its pretty little head… I’m happy. Well, usually. I cannot for the life of me figure out how Chelsea and Madison have decided that they are madly in love after knowing each other for 3.5 minutes. I mean, they are the epitome of an old stereotype about women who love women. I’m not discounting their passion for each other – I totally get that. Chadison/Madsea (or whatever their smooshed name is) are hot. But these two are practically talking about getting married and they don’t even know what each other’s favorite Febreze scent is. Not that I want to Doomsoap their love, but I feel like there is more to Madison than meets the eye. She is just a little too perfect. I haven’t figured out what her shifty, sneaky side might be, though. The best I have come up with so far is that she’ll somehow be related to the owner of a rival handbag company… and that’s not exactly compelling drama. Don’t Sissy me As an only child I rely on television and second-hand stories to help me know what it is like to have a sibling. Dani and Nicole’s relationship seems like #siblinggoals – even when they are disagreeing. I understand why Nicole is upset about Dani and Andre sleeping together, even if I don’t think that all of her reasons are sound. I think in Nicole’s heightened emotional state, she sees Dani’s lying about the relationship in a totally different way than she would have had Ted’s affair never come to light. Now Nicole feels like everyone is lying to her and every lie is going to be magnified tenfold. One the other hand, I also understand that with her world upside-down, Nicole feels that she doesn’t have that many people that she can trust. Pushing the lie aside, if Dani and Andre were to have an unamicable breakup, Nicole might justifiably be worried that the relationship that special bond she shares with her nephew could also break. Joy and pain Nicole’s anger did result in a few good zingers. Nicole quipped that Andre is young enough to be Dani’s son. Ouch. With the way that Beyond the Gates plays fast and loose with ages, I have no idea exactly how old Andre is… but I can’t see him being 20ish years younger than Dani. Sean Freeman, the actor who plays Andre, might be the only person on the entire Internet who doesn’t have an age – accurate or fabricated – attached to his Wikipedia page. In fact, he doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page. Another funny moment came when Dani asked if Nicole was jealous of Dani’s sexual relationship with Andre. “Yes, that’s it, Dani. I’m jealous,” Nicole fired back. “I wish I was sleeping with my nephew.” If this is was having a sibling is like, it sounds amazing. However, unless there is some sort of soapy twist in my future, I will still be quiet happy to go through life as an only child. FUNNY ASIDE: I laughed and laughed when Nicole sashayed into the Meet Madison meeting, spotted Madison, and asked, “Is everyone okay? Why is there a neurologist here?” As a teenager, I went to visit a neighbor and was gobsmacked when I saw the priest that I had recently given Confession to sitting on their front porch. I did a quick 180 and tried to scurry away. Your wife is putting the screws to me Vanessa McBride surprised me this week. I never assumed that she wasn’t an intelligent woman. I’ve also never faulted her for having a strong sexual appetite. What I didn’t expect was that she would be as ballsy as she apparently is. The way she conducted business with Joey Armstrong was something of a master class. For weeks and weeks we’ve been led to believe that Joey was the person who, if you’ll pardon the pun, held all the cards. Hapless Doug has done little to prove otherwise. But when Joey sat Vanessa down in the backroom of his casino and shared his vision for how their “business” relationship would go, Vanessa was not having it. None if it. Not even a small piece of it. “There’s nothing in it for me,” Vanessa pushed back. She then turned the tables to demand that Joey drop the “bogus” debt he was holding over Doug and she also demanded a pretty hefty commission from every transaction for both her and Doug. When Joey asked why Doug deserved a cut, Vanessa deadpanned, “I’m unfaithful, Joey, not disloyal.” By the way, that commission she negotiated? Joey offered three-percent. Vanessa insisted it would be six-percent – for Doug – and twelve-percent for her. That was later adjusted to a rounder, prettier to look at 20-percent. That table's not exactly memory foam Things are getting interesting between Doug and Vanessa. Suddenly, Doug has a sassy mouth. Vanessa assured her hubby that she wouldn’t end up in any legal trouble and promised to cover her “sweet derriere.” Doug replied, “I thought you worked better with it uncovered.” Earlier, when Vanessa explained that she and Joey would have their business meetings in empty houses, he grumbled, “Remember to leave the bedroom like you found it.” Doug is very hard to root for. He's wishy washy and a little bland. I don't know if his sudden growth of backbone will be enough to draw me in. Meanwhile, Joey's double entendres are the absolute best. They are made even more entendre-y by the delicious delivery from Jon Lindstrom. The fact that Joey could say to Doug, "Your wife is putting the screws to me" -- with a straight face, no less -- should earn him some sort of award. This diamond ring doesn't shine for me any more I didn’t have this on my bingo card, but I’m actually siding with Derek in his whatever it is with Ashley. Ashley has become unhinged. Her reactions to everything are completely over the top and it’s not a good look. Ashley tore into Naomi – her best friend – and accused her of buying the engagement ring that Derek proposed with. Seriously?! In what universe does that even make sense? Ashley’s reaction to the proposal also still bugs me. I’m fine that she didn’t accept. Accepting a marriage proposal out of some sense of obligation is never a good thing. Is Ashley trying to deny that she has feelings for Andre? Okay, you had a sex dream about Andre. Who hasn't? There is a big difference between finding someone attractive and wanting that person as a life partner. I don't find Derek particularly interesting, but that doesn't mean that he is not absolutely perfect for Ashley. Is she willing to McBride away (that's Beyond the Gates speak for gamble) relationship because she wants a little (or a lot, according to Dani) of Andre? Redrawing the paperwork As I said earlier in the column, I know that Nicole is hurting. I know that Nicole feelings betrayed. She feels betrayed because she was betrayed. And I am not going to tell Nicole how she should feel... so I will circumvent the hypocrisy that by telling her how she should not feel. It hasn't been all that long since the anniversary party that shall live in infamy. It feels to me that Nicole is rushing into making major life changes, something she would probably advise her clients not to do. Thankfully, she hasn't moved on to divorce papers yet, but it certainly feels like that isn't that far off. Nicole should not feel like her entire marriage was a lie. Part of it was, but I think that when Ted moved on from his relationship with LSD (Leslie/Sherry/Dana), he truly moved on from that relationship. It seems like Ted has been tenaciously devoted to his family ever since... and his involvement in the Martin secret will probably prove that. I just hope that if and when Nicole learns about Ted's involvement, she doesn't hold that against him and run straight back to her attorney's office for divorce papers. Beyond the Gates Speed Round Here are some rapid fire thoughts about some of the other action from the week gone by. Smitty finitty? There has been a lot of online chatter that Mike Manning, who plays Smitty, is on the way out. I suspect it started because Smitty has been getting nosy and someone used that to speculate that Smitty might be killed off. Manning took to social media to shoot down the rumor that he's exiting Beyond the Gates and to ask that supposedly sites claiming to be legit stop with the making stuff up. All I've got is a photograph I'm still in my June Gloom phase with June, but the actress playing June is absolutely killing it. She's equal parts neurotic, funny, and heartbreaking. It could all be a red herring, but I am more convinced than ever that she is Samantha and Tyrell's biological mother. Why? That photo that she cases so much about is a photograph of two children. The photo was shown briefly, but it appeared that the faces of the children in the image were rubbed off. That would explain why neither Naomi nor Jacob had any reaction when they saw the photo. Vegetables and vagina Just days after trying to kill post-stroke Bill with her good-good, Hayley is now serving Bill a breakfast that even my rabbit wouldn't want to eat. I am mildly amused that Bill's daughters are slowly warming back up to him... while still giving Hayley a hard time. Dani, to a lesser degree, also falls under that category. When Andre rhetorically asked if Dani wanted him to sleep with Hayley, Dani replied with an emphatic no before asking, "What would you want with that trashy, pregnant ho anyway?" Lines of the week The Beyond the Gates writing team is once again having a little too much fun. Here are some of the lines of dialogue that tickled my funny bone over the past week. "It makes me dance when you speak of Bill with loathing" -- Dani "Cards are life. We gamble as we live." -- Joey "And who are you? The Gambling Buddha?" -- Marcel Jacob seems to be getting a lot of funny lines of late. As Smitty tried to link Marcel and Joey together in criminal enterprise via their shared yacht club membership, Jacob noted, "[It's] a long way from sailing together to doing crime together." Tasked with having to act like he doesn't know something might be awry, "I'm not sure Denzel could do all that [acting] and make it believable." Closing the gates That's all I have for this week's My View From Beyond the Gates column. I have to go find a way to get involved in Martin's secret. I don't want to be sitting on the bench with Doug. Of course, I could probably take him for whatever petty cash he carries around in his wallet... so maybe that's not a bad Plan B. I'll be tuning in and I'll continue to share my thoughts on Beyond the Gates as long as you're interested in reading them. Thank you for reading and, as always, please feel free to share your thoughts on my column or Beyond the Gates in the Comments section below. Follow my Random Acts of Dan If you've enjoyed my column this week and want to see what I have written about Beyond the Gates in previous weeks, you can check those out in the My View From Beyond the Gates archive. Have a penchant for gardening, interior design, or fixing up old houses? Check out my Manor Makeover series where I write about all of the things I've been up to here at Kroll Manor in Allentown, PA, over the past decade. To keep up with all of the shenanigans I engage in on social media, please consider giving my a follow on Bluesky, Instagram, Threads, Facebook, and TwitterX. Life outside the gates Block contains unexpected or invalid content. 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