My View From Beyond the Gates: I Can’t Wallpaper Over What I’m Feeling

Some day we’ll walk in the rays of a beautiful sun. It’s often hard to believe that when life seems so full of clouds. And the sky is definitely overcast at Fairmont Crest. I Can’t Wallpaper Over What I’m Feeling: A Beyond the Gates commentary by Soap Central founder Dan J Kroll for the week ending May 29, 2026.

Don’t have time to read the entire Beyond the Gates column? You can now stream an audio/podcast version of this commentary — complete with off-script silliness, bloopers, interviews, and more. And it’s totally free to download or stream. SPOTIFY | APPLE MUSIC | AMAZON MUSIC | iHEART RADIO

They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul. Sometimes we put up curtains so that people can’t see through those windows and know how we’re really feeling.

The guilt of of knowing a friend took a literal bullet for you. The pain of missing a parent. The rage that someone you trusted took too long and did too little to right a wrong. The frustration that the poison you’ve secretly been giving your spouse hasn’t killed them yet. And yes, the horror of seeing your grandparents gettin’ in on.

We’re told to be kind because we never know what someone is going through. This week I decided to take a look at what some of the Fairmont Crest (and Fairmont Crest adjacent) residents have been going through and how they’re feeling. And o-o-h child, it’s kind of a lot.

Let’s Talk About Sex

I can count on one hand the number of “sex talks” I remember parents having with their kids on the soaps. And let’s be honest… none of them are particularly memorable. Don’t believe me? I reached out to several colleagues and none of us could come up with anything that wasn’t 30-plus years ago. A fan posting on Twitter/X under the username “semaj debose,” reminded me of the talk Drucilla and Neil had with their teenage daughter Lily on The Young and the Restless. Dru and Neil learned that Lily had contracted chlamydia after having sex with Kevin Fisher. That conversation happened in 2003 – nearly a quarter century ago.

I suppose the argument is that kids are not the target demographic for soaps. Why write a story designed to educate kids if kids aren’t watching? In the day, I think an argument could be made that the message was just as important for parents who might be struggling to talk to their kids about “Ess-ee-ecks.” Nowadays, parents can just Google or ask ChatGPT what to tell their kids. God help us all.

Martin and Tyrell’s talk, while less of a how-to and what-not-to-do, was still groundbreaking in its own right. It’s been clear from the dialogue that Martin and Smitty had had the nuts and bolts talk with Tyrell sometime in the past. I swear “nuts and bolts” was not intended to be naughty. What made this more important than a trip to the hardware store was that this marked the first time in daytime history that a gay parent was talking to their child about sex.

The conversation also went far beyond identity.

I Kissed A Girl (And I Didn’t Like It)

Tyrell was shocked to learn that his Pops’ first time was with a girl. The revelation might even have shocked some viewers. Martin explained that he’d tried to have a relationship with a girl to push aside his feelings for other boys. He likened that feeling of awkwardness to what Tyrell said he felt in not quite knowing what to do when he was with Jessica. Martin explained that the first time, contrary to many pop hits over the years, isn’t always a magic and memorable moment.

It was also a quiet milestone to have Tyrell assume that Martin’s first time would have been easier with a guy because they would both “know where everything is and what [they’re] working with.” That came across as an absolutely real observation that would have been had — but one that has never been made on a soap before.

This column, being a commentary, is by definition a place to share my opinions about what is happening on Beyond the Gates. Despite my many detours down memory lane, I do my best to stay (mostly) on topic and talk only about the soaps. Discussing the importance of the Martin/Tyrell conversation might be viewed by some as “political” or part of some “agenda.” Families like the Richardson-Smiths exist in the world. It’s important for people to see people like themselves depicted on television, streaming, and film. Representation. That’s been the whole premise for Beyond the Gates.

What Becomes of the Broken-Hearted?

Unfortunately, it looks like Tyrell is about to be representative of another group of people: the broken-hearted.

When Tyrell and Jessica first started to talk about their college plans, I came up with three or so scenarios that could play out. They’d both go to Banneker, they’d both go to an out-of-town school, or they’d carry on a long-distance relationship until the writers decided that one or both needed to be involved in a different story. Never in my scenario crafting did I think that Jessica would decide to break up with Tyrell before heading off to college so that they wouldn’t possibly break up at some point down the road.

I don’t see this being the end of the story. Maybe Tyrell will decide to change schools or take a “gap year” to follow Jessica to California and figure out his life. If I were to resort to my Doomsoaping, I’d be worried that Nathan’s drinking could come back into play at graduation. I don’t want to put negative energy into the universe, but there’s another possible ending to Tyrell and Jessica’s romance that would be far worse than any break-up.

Gone Too Soon

My heart breaks for Brian and Melody Baldwin on the loss of their son. Not that it in anyway changes their grief, but I can’t recall if we ever learned if Derek had a sibling. The only reason I mention it is because up until this week we didn’t know the names of Derek’s parents or if they were still with us.

I know that it would never happen – and probably could never happen in the current climate – but the moment the somber Brian showed up at the police station I started to have flashbacks of a similar event that took place on Grey’s Anatomy. There was a man whose wife died at the hospital and he returned with a gun to misguidedly seek retribution. It is one of the most chilling storylines in the series’ entire run.

I don’t mean to cast aspersions upon this poor, grieving father, but there was just something so chilling in the way that he responded to seeing Jacob. I can’t imagine that they’ve cast Derek’s dad just to have him show up in a single episode.

No One Is To Blame

Let me take a quick detour here because I saw a lot of folks on social media taking issue with Brian blaming Jacob for Derek’s death. I’ve seen everything from calling the writers lazy and racist to the concept of blaming Derek being “totally unreal.” I push back against all of those notions.

Grief doesn’t make sense. It is so much easier said than done to say, “Brian should blame the shooter.” Yes, he absolutely should.  But when someone is denying, bargaining, and being angry over such a deep loss, it’s not easy to look at things so cut and dry. It’s no different than Ashley blaming her hatred of Derek’s chair for his murder. It doesn’t make sense from the outside looking in. And it doesn’t have to. I’m not even sure that it’s supposed to, but that doesn’t give anyone permission to judge how another person going through grief “should” act.

I have my own personal experience with this and I’ll share it in the podcast version of this column. It’s not a shameless plug – even if it is, in fact, a plug for the audiobook version of my commentary. I just think it’s something better conveyed in that format than here in a written-only format.

O-o-h Child

It’s clear that Derek’s death has hit Jacob hard. The man was his best friend and Derek died as a result of an investigation that Jacob was overseeing. On top of that, Derek’s dad blames Jacob for Derek’s death. I worry that this is going to send Jacob down a dark path. Statistically, men are reluctant and even unlikely to seek out mental health treatment. Black men are even less likely. On the surface, Jacob does seem to be in touch with his emotions. And yes, he has a mental health expert in his extended family, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that he’ll do what’s needed to take care of himself.

There’s a separate wrinkle in all of this. Will Naomi finally tell Jacob about her genetic testing results now that his undercover mission is finished? If so, will that cause Jacob to spiral even more? Or will Naomi see that her husband is hurting and delay telling him. That could end up having its own set of consequences.

As a quick aside, Jibre Hordges did some really wonderful work this week. Jacob hasn’t really had much chance to make me feel anything. Well, other than the feeling of rolling my eyes at how terribly he conducted the undercover mission at times. This week, though, I felt Jacob’s grief. It was a job really well done.

Before I close out this section, I have a soft spot when it comes to first responders and those serving in the armed forces. Servicemembers coming home to surprise their kids? I lose it. I also got choked up when they did the “Last Call” for Derek.

I’ll Remember

It is interesting to me that Derek received an on-air memorial while Doug McBride did not. At the time of their deaths, neither Derek not Doug’s portrayers were on contract with Beyond the Gates. Yes, Ben Gavin, who played Derek, was on contract and in the opening credits at one point.

The only thing I’ve come up with is that the memorial was needed to advance story – possibly Jacob’s. Maybe they wanted to give Derek’s former firefighter family one final chance to appear on-screen. Or, as Zach Barber reminded me on Bluesky, to put Ashley and Andre back in each other’s orbits. If I’m being honest, I’d love to catch a case of soap amnesia and forget all about Ashley and Andre’s dalliance.

Who am I? Where am I? Okay, good. I’ve forgotten all about it.

There are two other explanations that I’ve come up with. First, Season One of Beyond the Gates might have been operating under the premise that it was possible that it would not see a second season. So maybe the show didn’t do, show, or say all the things that they otherwise would have.

The second scenario is that the show always knew that Doug’s story wasn’t over. Contrary to what some social media folks might think, the Beyond the Gates writing team isn’t just making things up as they go. There is a long-term story outline that is being followed.

Only In My Dreams

When Doug made his surprise return on May 22, fans were mostly surprised. They’d have been more surprised if Jason Graham’s name hadn’t popped up in the credits midweek. But that’s neither here nor there.

I took a poll immediately afterward asking if people thought Doug was really alive, a vision in Deanna’s mind, or something else. The vast majority of respondents believed that Doug was just a figment of Deanna’s imagination and that turned out to be true. That doesn’t mean that Doug isn’t still alive somewhere. I used to believe that Doug and Vanessa were working with the Feds to take down Joey, but… I don’t know that I believe that any more. Vanessa no longer seems like a woman working as an operative. If she is, she’s done a much better job of keeping her cover than Jacob ever did.

I will admit that I’m worried about Deanna. She is clearly struggling and may have been struggling even before Doug died. As much as I love the idea of Deanna going full-on soap opera whackadoo, I think I am reluctant to fully embrace it because she’s not just nuts for the sake of being nuts. Typically, the female soap whackadoos snap because they can’t have the man they want or something trivial like that. With Deanna, it’s nothing like that. Maybe I will come around when Vision Doug tells Deanna to hurl a Molotov cocktail into Joey’s casino.

Something else that popped into my head as I was writing this column: Deanna needs to stay away from LSD – That’s Leslie, not the psychotropic drug. Though, she should also stay away from that, too.

How You Gonna Act Like That?

Speaking of LSD, she got around this week. She invited herself to join Randy at Uptown. Somehow, she ended up pitching the idea that she and Randy could be partners in exchanging information. Randy wanted no part of it, but it was so much fun to see him give Leslie a hard time.

It was nowhere near as fun as watching Leslie crash the press conference at Garland to “honor” her amazing employee Derek. I laughed and laughed as Leslie summoned her inner Leslie Faye Bakker to put on an Academy Award-winning performance. We knew she hated Derek – and she had previously made it clear that Derek’s death was an annoyance to her because it meant she had to hire someone new to do his work. But watching that performance? Comedy gold.

But what sent it over the edge was when Leslie did her little wave to Derek up in the Heavens. I absolutely lost it. It was one of the funniest things I’ve seen on a soap opera in a long, long time.

The humor didn’t last long as a day or two later Leslie was (rightfully) accusing Hayley of playing a long game with Bill. I don’t know if Leslie knows knows that Hayley is a con or if she is just projecting. Still, Leslie definitely had Hayley’s number.

I’m not sure if it was a missed opportunity or not to not have Hayley and LSD become friends. They are two peas in a pod and they could have partnered to make life… interesting for Fairmont Crest residents. The problem is that they are probably too much alike to ever be able to stand each other for more than a few minutes at a time.

Beside, Behind, and Beyond The Gates: The Speed Round

Here are some of the thoughts and observations about other things happening on Beyond the Gates.

Art Imitating Life

If you thought that Mona’s discussion about being diabetic came out of nowhere this week, you’re kind of right. The minute she started talking, I knew it had to be some sort of partnership or advertisement. The dialogue sounded very much like a commercial for a diabetes drug. As it turns out, I was right. Beyond the Gates has partnered with Eli Lilly to inform its viewers about Type 2 diabetes. It’s unclear if there will be an entire story arc moving forward or if this was a one-off. Considering that Type 2 diabetes is a chronic condition, it’s not like Mona’s condition will just disappear one day.

Actress Karan Kendrick (Mona) filmed a promotional announcement for the partnership. You can check it out on her Instagram page.

Healing Hands

It also seems unlikely that Bill’s tremors are going to just disappear. I can’t remember if we learned about Hayley poisoning Bill before or after his tremors started. Could the tremors be unrelated to whatever she’s giving him from that magic medicine dropper she keeps safely tucked away in her bosom?

Side note: Does Bill never fondle his wife? You’d think at some point he’d go in for a feel and find the vial of poison.

You Oughta Know

If the poison doesn’t kill Bill, Dani’s rage might. I was kind of taken aback by Dani going off on Bill the way she did this week. It’s not that I was surprised to see her be angry – we spent much of Season One witnessing that. It just seemed to come out of nowhere. Bill said hi and all of a sudden Dani was unloading about how Bill’s law practice as an old boys’ club.

While the rage seemed to come out of nowhere, we did learn some very important things. First, the reason Naomi is not practicing at her father’s law firm seems to be tied to all of the sketchy things that were taking place there. Second, we learned more about the level of friendship between Dani and Pamela.

It was fascinating to hear Bill defend his actions. He initially claimed that he didn’t know anyone was being harassed at work. When he did, he claimed to have fixed things immediately — and hired back the women who’d sued him. Dani didn’t let him off the hook and noted that there were women who had quit prior to the lawsuit. It makes me wonder if Bill was clueless about what was going on in his own practice or if he chose not to go looking for things out of the fear of what he might find.

Vernita Interruptus

I may need to backtrack from calling Leslie’s heavenly wave the funniest thing to happen on the soaps. I was equally amused by Kat walking in on Vernon and Anita’s sexytimes pre-game show. Just when the laughter from that wore off, Vernita’s trip to Happy Town was interrupted by Martin. “I didn’t know you two were getting busy,” he stammered as he tried not to make direct eye contact with his grandmother who was still buttoning up her clothes.

Meanwhile, Kat was at Uptown trying to give herself soap amnesia with a glass or two of scotch. It’s funny but very much in character that free-spirited Chelsea wasn’t as horrified as Kat. Then along came Martin with his, “You won’t believe what I almost walked in on.”

We’ve known for some time that Colby Nixon (Kat Richardson) has comedic chops, but this was the first time that we got to see Brandon Claybon (Martin Richardson) be funny!

Quick Takes

I have no idea if Naomi’s paper airplane distraction really works, but it was a really sweet moment between two best friends.

I was surprised at how Kat clocked the way her dad looked at her mom at the cotillion.

It appears that Joey really isn’t the Impaler. At least that’s what we are to believe after the call that he got on Friday’s episode. I honestly expected the Friday cliffhanger to be him walking in and seeing the Impaler’s identity.

BTG: Behind the Graphic

If you’re wondering what this week’s header image is all about, you’re in luck. I have the answers and you don’t have to secretly poison me to get them. The tiara in the box is Samantha’s cotillion crown. She seems to be toting it all around the DMV, as I would be if I ever won anything. The glass of booze is the scotch that Kat and Martin had to down in order to erase Vernita sexytimes from their memory banks. The poison is Hayley’s bosom poison. And the paper airplane is a nod to the distraction Naomi offered up to Ashley.

Beyond the Gates: The Musical

There were a lot of musical inspirations in this week’s column, so I put the songs on a Spotify playlist. You can give it a listen here.

Beyond the Gates: Lines of the Week

The Beyond the Gates writing team seems to be having a little too much fun. Here are some of the lines of dialogue that tickled my funny bone or that I found memorable over the past week (and haven’t already mentioned in this column).

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“You’re still in the return policy window and he could just send you right back to the trophy wife store without as much as a ding to his heart or a ding to his bank account.”
Leslie in response to Hayley claiming that she and Bill were very much the happy couple.

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“I can’t wait to hear what social media trolls have to say about someone they’ve never even met.”
Joey after Donnell said he’d said things about Joey online.

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“Who cares about the messenger when the message is so good?”
Kat

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“Would you look at that? One mention and you conjured up the sequel.”
Kat when she noticed Eva enter Orphey Gene’s just as she and Ted were discussing Leslie.

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“But I wanna tap you.”
“Wanna rephrase that?”
Ted using an unintentionally sexual term to tell Nicole that he had submitted her name to become the hospital’s new Chief of Staff

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This is a first — it’s a quote about the show, but not from the show — courtesy of me.

Someone just said to me, “I hope I am still having sex when I am Vernon and Anita’s age.” I hated that I had to tell her that she is Vernon and Anita’s age.

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Gatecrashers: Reader and Viewer Feedback

I love interacting with other Beyond the Gates fans. So I thought I’d create a section to share some of the comments I’ve received on my columns and social media posts. If you’d like to see your comments shared here, you can scroll down to the Comments section below this column and post away. You can also chat with me on Bluesky, Instagram, Threads, Facebook, and/or TwitterX.

Follow my Random Acts of Dan

That’s all I have for this week’s My View From Beyond the Gates column. Thank you for reading and, as always, please feel free to share your thoughts on my column or Beyond the Gates in the Comments section below.

If you’ve enjoyed my column this week and want to see what I have written about Beyond the Gates in previous weeks, you can check those out in the My View From Beyond the Gates archive.

Have a penchant for gardening, interior design, or fixing up old houses? Check out my Manor Makeover series where I write about all of the things I’ve been up to here at Kroll Manor in Allentown, PA, over the past decade.

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Life outside the gates

Two of my former Two Scoops columnists from Soap Central, Liz Masters and Tamilu, have joined me here on my personal web site — and they are still writing about General Hospital. Liz is on deck with week with a new column called, Aloha, Port Charles.

To read more thoughts, opinions, rants, and raves about daytime television, be sure to check out our Editorial section.

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