General Hospital Commentary: I Smell Snow

General Hospital Commentary: I Smell Snow

Dear readers, in addition to being a General Hospital mega fan, I am also obsessed with the Gilmore Girls. I love Lorelai’s fascination with all things snow, but I do not share it. I grew up in the frigid “lake effect snow” portion of Ohio, and as soon as I was old enough, I joined a theatre group and moved to California. Now I live in Florida. I do not want to smell snow or even see it unless I am watching it on my phone laying by my pool.

But after watching the great blizzard of Port Charles this week, I was reminded that snow has its perks!

If you are snowed in, you can have a snuggly fling in a barn with a handsome cowboy. You can be trapped in a house you broke into with your arch enemy and decide you don’t hate each other as much after some bourbon served in a pink sippy cup. You can be a fugitive trekking out into the snow, then warm up by a fire next to someone with whom you have mad chemistry. Or you can get lost in the blizzard and be carried to safety by your mob enforcer lover. You can be on your way to help your grandma break-and-enter but instead get snowed in with your girlfriend away from your loud, intrusive family. There’s also a possibility that you can get trapped in a closed diner with your comatose best friend’s hunka-hunka-burning-love ex-husband and fall into an unplanned kiss.

General Hospital’s kissing cousins

Or, if you’re super creepy, you can make out with your 2nd cousin. As evidenced in this Gilmore Girls clip, some wealthy families like to “keep the bloodlines close.”

If you prefer, there’s always Ferris Bueller.

And before you ask, yes, Charlotte and Danny are second cousins once removed. Sam is the daughter of Alexis, and Alexis is the daughter of Mikkos Cassadine. Charlotte is the daughter of Valentin, and Valentin is the son of Victor Cassadine. Victor and Mikkos were brothers. Alexis and Valentin are first cousins, so Charlotte and Danny are second cousins. In 8 states, it is restricted for 2nd cousins to marry, but luckily, NY is not one of them. What an easy wedding invite list to plan. (Ewww)

Odd teen out

Poor Rocco. He thinks his sister and his heart brother are just keeping him out of the loop on Valentin. Imagine how hurt he will be when he finds out what was really going on before he arrived at the gatehouse. Maybe he will be mad enough to tell his mom what he knows? 

I’d much rather see Jake Webber come home from Europe to give Charlotte a non-cousin option to date. I mean, Danny is the cutest, so I get it, but I don’t feel like this relationship will go over very well with the family. It’s all Nina fault. If Charlotte hadn’t heard Nina was working her for information about Valentin, none of this would have happened.

But back to the snow.

The downside is that you can also be trapped on Spoon Island with a creepy WSB director pretending to be a groundskeeper and have to keep up your lie of being an innocent party girl who made a wrong turn for God knows how long. Cullum is suspicious of Joss because she beat him in a game of chess, and recognized Anna from the P.K. Sinclair book that she found in Cullum’s jacket. So now I am convinced that Cullum is the creep trying to gaslight Anna into thinking Faison and Peter are alive! Will Joss be able to escape his creepiness when the snow clears?

I can see the Netherlands from the piers!

If that binocular view into Wyndemere made you scream “NO” into the air, it’s because for reasons known only to the General Hospital staff, they changed Wyndemere from the dark and mysterious castle with parapets, turrets, spires and cliffs to the National Maritime Museum (Het Scheepvaartmuseum)in Amsterdam… No one knows why.

Worst. Recast. Ever.

I posted on X that the thing that the powers that be at General Hospital don’t understand is that soap fans are like Trekkies. We are deeply invested in the history and minutiae of our shows. They can’t change buildings we have been looking at for decades and think we won’t notice. As of this exact moment, my post has 8487 impressions, and 879 engagements – which means many of you are also annoyed. Thank you for your soapy loyalty to the real Wyndemere!

Unless Sidwell totally leveled Wyndemere to the ground and rebuilt a replica of a Dutch museum on Spoon Island, this new building is NOT Wyndmere. What were they thinking?

These two items back-to-back, having two cousins making out and replacing a beloved Port Charles landmark, makes me think that the people in charge either A) Don’t know General Hospital history, or B) Don’t respect General Hospital history or their decades long viewers. I suspect it’s B. I’m old. I get it. Many General Hospital viewers won’t know the things older viewers remember. New viewers won’t care about the picture of Wyndemere.

General Hospital’s history matters 

But I saw Katherine Bell, Brad Cooper, Anthony Zacharra, Ava Jerome and Esme Prince all get pushed off the parapets that are no longer there! Unacceptable. One of my X followers named MC made a beautiful point that Wyndemere is a character in itself. She said, “The parapets, turrets, rocky cliffs and catacombs have all played integral roles over the history of the show.” I’m not sure why they made that change, I just know that I disapprove. 

There is so much mayhem going on over there, I need there to be a parapet so Anna can push Pascal off of it. Or Peter… or Faison… or Cullum pretending to be one or both of the two aforementioned. Is anyone real, or are they all just hallucinations? Is this a Bobby Ewing thing?

One person who is not a hallucination is Marco and I want Lucas to find out that he’s as bad as his daddy Sidwell sooner rather than later.

Marco is calling meetings with the dirty WSB director to try and have Cullum off Sonny — who had absolutely zero to do with Natalia’s death. Lucas is wonderfully trusting even after Brad, and he is convinced that Marco is not at all involved in Sidwell’s dealings. But riddle me this… Why would a lawyer and a doctor have to live at their dad’s castle/maritime museum when they could easily afford a place in town? So, if Lucas gets called to General Hospital for an emergency, he has to catch the launch and can’t get to the hospital for an hour? It doesn’t make sense.

If Marcus was not involved in Sidwell’s’ dealings, why would he want to live at the evil lair?

Full house on Spoon Island

That place is hopping. Ava, Joss, Sidwell, Lucas, Marcos, Anna, Britt, Cullum, Anna, Pascal, and possibly Faison and/or Peter were all swimming around the grounds this week. I know the place is big, but wouldn’t there be some unexplained noises coming from the basement? When Lucas freaked out over Lucas’ suggestion to explore the catacombs, Lucas should have been more curious about Marco’s over-the-top reaction.

But my minor nitpicks aside, overall, I think General Hospital has been riveting this week. I enjoy a good snowed in storyline as long as it’s not me who is snowed in. Although if I was snowed in, perhaps I would read some of the books I bought and have stacked up.

Readers, please don’t hate me, but I think I am rooting for Tracy and Martin.

The cozy talk Tracy and Martin were having while at Drew’s house was giving me romance vibes. I don’t care that Jane Elliot is slightly older than Micheal E Knight. I love their chemistry together, and I like the way they are unraveling each other. Tracy’s line about Lucy’s longest relationship with anyone being Sigmund the duck made me quackle. Get it? Ha. As an added bonus, we got to hear the line “freezer full of heads” again. Please keep using it.

The beginning of something good — or bad? 

Then there is Lulu and Nathan. Or Lulu and whoever that divinely gorgeous man who memorized the entire periodic tables is. All this time, I was sure this was the real Nathan, maybe just brainwashed or compromised somehow. But then he forgot police procedures. And now he knows all the elements, and I’m starting to second guess myself. IS he Nathan? 

Would Nathan kiss Lulu? Some of you say no, he would never do that. But Nathan, as perfect as we see him, is just a man who had been gone from his life for years only to wake up and find his life has moved on. Lulu has experienced the same thing, and I am sure they are both very lonely on a deep level. Sure, they are parents who love their kids. Lulu is trying to be a great mom for Charlotte and Rocco, and Nathan is trying to get closer to James, but they are still human beings.

One is the loneliest number 

I was a little heartbroken for both of Lulu and Nathan when they poured their hearts out to one another. Imagine how lonely and disconcerting their lives must be. What it would be like to wake up seven years from now as if no time had passed, your kids were all grown, your love moved on with someone else, and the life you left was just gone. This is heartbreaking stuff. I have to feel for these two lost and vulnerable characters who found comfort in one another, and I refuse to judge them. 

I can’t say any lonely person would turn down love in Lulu and Nathan’s situation. Truthfully, they don’t know if Maxie will ever wake up. It has been months and everyone keeps saying there is no change.  

Spoiler alert: Skip the next paragraph if you wish to remain spoiler free

Of course, we know Kirsten Storms is reportedly coming back to General Hospital within the month, but in Lulu and Nathan’s minds, she might never come back home. Also, Maxie is with Spinelli in General Hospital land, so is anyone actually cheating on anyone? In my opinion, No. Sure, girl code rules and all, but I think the girl code needs a coma exemption.

Two can be as bad as one 

I am not mad at Lulu and Nathan for kissing. I am so excited to see Maxie’s inevitable return, to have her find out Nathan is alive and to see all the messiness of this situation where Lulu and Nathan have caught feelings for each other. Spinelli and Maxie will have to figure out what to do, and let’s not forget poor grieving Dante who still loves Lulu despite the issues they have had since her return. She is really the best friend Dante has in Port Charles since Chase went cuckoo for Killow. It’s all so magically soapalicious. I love it so much!

Across town, things were just starting to get interesting with Carly and Valentin when Jack showed up. I was peeved! We were finally getting some motion in moving Valentin and Carly closer to a snowy one-night stand. But then Jack showed up. Carly had to go and give herself a pep talk in the mirror to fake enjoying sex with Jack while poor Valentin stared at the ceiling in the icy attic alone. Boo.

But readers, I even feel for Jack. Yes, he is lying to Carly. Yes, he got her daughter involved in the WSB. But he has been keeping Josslyn close and when he thought Joss could get hurt, he pulled her. But being her mother’s daughter, Joss didn’t listen of course.

The price you pay on General Hospital

In this storyline, there are going to be people who take the fall. Cullum, for sure. Probably Sidwell and Marco, too. But Jack? I feel like he will survive, but I doubt his relationship with Carly will. As for Carly and Valentin, if they end up in a relationship, perhaps Lulu may be more forgiving of Carly now that Lulu has fallen for her BFF’s husband!

Prelude to a kiss

And after a very long wait, Britt finally told Jason everything and brought him into the middle of her nightmare. I hope that Jason sends the vial of medication to Robin who will definitely be able to reverse engineer the drug. Maybe we will even get a Kimberly McCullough visit. Since Anna is missing, Emma is in a new relationship, and soon I anticipate they will have a memorial for Robert, it’s a perfect time for Robin to come home.

In fact, the character of Robert Scorpio dying would also be the perfect catalyst for Sasha and Daisy to come home. I sure hope Michael has installed more video surveillance since the last time Killow broke in.

Romancing the cowboy

Over in the Q stables, we were finally treated to some romantic scenes with Cody and Molly, a couple we have been rooting for, for months. But then, almost immediately — as we were beginning to smile — Cody read Molly’s manuscript and got all butt hurt about the fictional character of Casey. Even after Molly explained to him how differently she feels about him compared to when she first met him. I swear, people always talk about how emotional women are, but tell me the male ego is any less fragile??? Cody chose to sleep on a cold barn floor in a blizzard instead of in a warm, cozy bed with a gorgeous woman who wants him all because he can’t discern fact from fiction. 

And now I want to make a third Gilmore Girls reference. Remember that time Christopher threw a hissy fit because Lorelai wrote a personal reference letter for Luke’s custody hearing? Christopher would probably have slept in the barn, too.

Finally, I want to give major kudos, huzzahs and congratulations to Tabyana Ali for her incredibly beautiful and nuanced performance this week when Portia showed up at Trina’s door. Girl, please submit these scenes to the Emmy committee!

Trina’s rage, pain, concern, love and confusion were all visible. This was such a realistic portrayal of how it feels when someone you love betrays you and you realize they aren’t who you thought they were. Portia begged, whimpered and asked for Trina’s forgiveness with quivering bottom lip, but Trina did not let her off the hook. I loved when she said, “I forgave you too fast last time.”

I was also happy to hear Taggert’s name in this speech and I am taking credit for it since I mentioned the fact that he’s been forgotten. Ha. Not really, but I am happy to hear Trina remembers the man who raised her. I hope Trina makes Portia earn her forgiveness and trust over time. Portia thought she could win Trina back with a stubbed toe, but Trina didn’t fall for it. Say what you will about Ava Jerome, but she’s been a more dependable maternal presence to Trina than Portia has. 

Will Outback get sent to bed without biscuits for revealing Molly’s manuscript to Cody? Is Brick going to get curious about his meeting with Joss and dig into the real reason she asked him so many questions about power outages on small islands? Will Ava sip enough martinis to make her miss the fact that she’s about to bed a monster? Will Jack and Joss ever realize fighting loudly about her undercover gig at the docks isn’t a very savvy superspy sort of move?

Is Ava going to realize that Sonny was actually looking out for her and Avery when he warned her to stay away from Sidwell? Will Joss tell Carly she heard Brennan say he was just dating her to get information? Will Lucas ask to be let in on Britt’s concierge doctor gig, and they can be the Royal Pains of Port Charles? (Yeah, I know, I watch too much TV.) Will Jason bring Sonny up to speed on Sidwell’s hold over Britt, or keep her deep dark secret private? Will Carly and Valentin be playing Scrabble nightly over bourbons?

Only tomorrow knows dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows.

Be sure to see was Soap Central founder Dan Kroll has to say in his all-new Beyond The Gates commentary this week. It’s called From Zero to Shakespeare.

Tamilu

9 Comments

  1. JDF

    Really now. Joss just happens to have some C-4 and a detonator laying around the apartment? We’re also supposed to believe that she knows where to plant the bomb. I guess the power plant has a sign that says “Wyndemere”. I know that she had a conversation with Brick but that was more of a computer hacking discussion.
    When Joss looked at Wyndemere through her binoculars, I was thinking , that’s not Wyndemere, it’s a hotel. Every time we ever saw a part of Wyndemeres’ exterior , we saw towers and parapits and the building was
    right at the waters’ edge. Yet, somehow they have stables at Wyndemere and plenty of room to ride horses.

    This boat renting also had me puzzled. The Wyndemere launch was always a private launch. I remember that from the days of Stephan Cassadine living there and visitors being announced. I guess it’s just normal for people to rent small boats and go out onto a great lake in a storm.

    Joss told Cullum that she majoring in “environmental sciences”. Geez, I thought that she was majoring in getting caught spying. Did the WSB have a training course in lame excuses?

  2. JDF

    Marco is delusional. He keeps blaming Sonny for Natalia’s death when in fact, Sonny treated Natalia better and with more respect than Marco ever did.

  3. Humor Me

    Great column!
    My two cents: Marco will complicate things for his father, and it will get him killed.
    My three cents: Joss is an excellent spy and Cullum is going to figure out soon that she is the hot-shot young agent rising through the ranks. Did he let her win at Chess?
    My four cents: NO to the kissing cousins. Nada. Nyet. No way.
    My shiny nickel: Val will save Anna. Britt is gonna die again – either from the Huntongton’s or exposing Faision’s project in a crossfire of bullets. Jason and Britt are not HEA material – they are star crossed.
    My shining dime: kudos to the timing of the snow storm in PC with real life. This one is believable.

  4. Rita 2025

    I found the recent blizzard, snowstorm, or whatever you call it, to be a letdown, except for the Tracy/Martin and Trina/Portia scenes.

    – I’m indifferent to Britt/Jason this time. I was rooting for them until the Carly/Jason pivot during their previous connection.
    – I’m against the kissing cousins; they’re just gross. I didn’t think I could despise a storyline more than Heather’s hip, but kissing cousins definitely took the cake.
    – I’m not interested in Molly/Cody because I find them boring and childish, and Cody’s reaction just reinforces my point.
    – I’m completely confused about what’s really happening with the WSB/Marco/Ezra/Laura and other characters. The storyline is becoming convoluted and starting to feel like Pikeman all over again. I don’t know where the writers are going with this storyline, but I do know they need to get there fast.
    – Lastly, I’m still not feeling Nathan right now. It feels like Ryan plays his characters the same way, even the Hallmark ones, which makes them uninteresting.

    It’s amazing how we all watch the same show and come away with different perspectives. Just my two cents.

  5. Missez Premise

    Greetings Fellow Cornfield Survivors!
    Random Observations, which may or may not get Sent to the Cornfield:

    We STILL don’t know what was in the box that Droopy Dawg Brennan gave Carly for Christmas.
    He gave it to her on Christmas Eve, told her “Don’t open it until Christmas”, and that was it.
    Pffft.

    I Told Y’All I don’t trust Marco Polo.
    Never did, right from the beginning.
    And Carly shouldn’t, either.

    I do feel bad for Britt.
    I want Stone Cold and The Britch to be a Thing, but, you know the Drill.
    Britt should have her Muttah, now that they’re speaking again, research that “Medication” Formula.
    Then she should have Jason get rid of Cullum.
    Not necessarily in that order.

    Why is Brick dressed like he’s going to the Easter Parade?
    It’s January.
    I’m guessing Joss (Agent Barbie) poured Brick a glass of Perrier just so he could do a Spit Take when she asked him “How do I go about cutting off Power to All of Spoon Island?”

    And how can Droopy Dawg say to Ninny, “I helped Willow Dodge a Murder Conviction!”
    Except, DUH.
    Nobody Died.
    “Attempted Murder”.
    And a Lousy Attempt at that.

    So, Agent Barbie Blows Up a Power Grid.
    Why?
    So she could put her Uncle Lucas in danger?
    Nice move.
    Droopy Dawg’s gonna be ticked off, not to mention Sidwell.
    So, Waxy Cullum’s a Butler now? Ah, a “Caretaker”.

    For the Love of Everything soapy.
    I’m no fan of Porthole, but the way Trina treated and spoke to her Mom when she arrived at her door, in the snowstorm, was unacceptable.
    “Sure, I’ll make you TEA! Would you like some COOKIES?” all sarcastic.
    I wanted to reach through my screen and slap her Smug, Snot-Nosed Face.
    Little Hypocrite.
    Oh, but she FINALLY mentioned Taggert!!!

    I’m getting tired of Tad/Smarty and Tracy bickering.
    He should be helping her.

    So when did Wyndemere start looking like that??
    Sidwell had it painted White and Reconstructed?
    Was it when Ava had the Catacombs sealed?
    I don’t remember that happening either.

    How did Britt get on a Boat, and how did Jason find her?
    And did they Bump Uglies and we missed it?
    Did Jason leave his clothes on?
    Sure looks like it.

    And who keeps hopping on boats in a Blizzard?
    Folks aren’t so Nautical in July, why is everyone suddenly Circumnavigating Spoon Island?

    Oh Boy! A Scooby Gang Romance!!
    Wait, aren’t Danny and Charlotte related somehow? Everyone in PC sees to be.
    And what about Jake?
    Yuk, Char, don’t go after your Second Cousin Once Removed.
    ShrewLu and NotNathan?
    All this talk of his Father.
    I thought Faison was unaware of his existence until he shot him?
    I know, Sonny shot Dante after which Olivia shouted “You Shot Your Own Son!!”
    Except in this case Faison didn’t care.

    And we all knew ShrewLu and NotNathan would Swap Spit eventually.
    What better time than after Breaking and Entering during a Blizzard?
    Yep, Dante should definitely ask Justine out.
    It would even things up a bit.

    Dammit, Droopy Dawg!!
    Val was just about to Get Busy with Carly.
    He does need to get rid of the Porn Stash, though.

  6. LeslieB

    I feel like now that Britt fully named Cullum as Sidwell’s WSB evil partner and not Jack, a little pressure is off of Jack. That said, it wouldn’t surprise me if Jack has to make a huge sacrifice to save Joss. Joss is smart and Capable but not on equal footing with Callum in this current cat and mouse game they are playing imo.

  7. Annmarie Blon

    I hope they never bring back Sasha and Daisy.

  8. JDF

    It’s been a while since the writers have acknowledged upper NY state winters and that PC is in NY and not California, except for Bricks’ suit.

  9. Kathie

    Elizabeth Korte has been with GH for decades. From everything I heard before she was co-head writer, she was the go to person when any of the actors had a question about GH history. I find it hard to believe she doesn’t remember that history now. History has been tweaked a number of times over the last year so I think it just gets ignored when it interferes with way they want their storylines to go. Kind of like all soap writers since forever.

    I can kind of see some logic in wanting to pair up Danny and Charlotte. There are a lot of kids on the show right now. If they wanted to bring on a boyfriend/girlfriend for any of the teenagers, that’s adding another character to a possibly overloaded cast. I suppose that also applies to bringing Jake back. I wonder if the writers are considering changing Valentine’s parentage again so that’s he’s not a Cassadine. I do not recall that he ever had a paternity test to confirm Victor’s claims.

    I’d prefer they didn’t do that though. I like Valentine as a Cassadine. I also share the eww response to the kissing cousins and want to see this shut down. If you want a girlfriend for Danny, you know what I think they should do: SORAS Avery. She’s technically only about two years younger than he is; and she’s going to have the same problem Charlotte has in that she’s related to too many other boys on the GH canvas (but not Danny). I’m also really interested to see how that kid turns out. Given who her parents are and a number of confusing, destabilizing things that have happened during her childhood. I figure Avery is either going to be an angel or a huge troublemaker.

    As for Charlotte, you may have to bring Jake back because he’s the only legacy character remotely (and I mean remotely because he should be significantly older than her) in her age range that she’s not related to. Or maybe someone else has a secret son they never mentioned before, but I’d prefer to have Jake back anyway.

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