My View From Beyond the Gates: DEFCON Dana

If there is smoke coming out of a chimney at Fairmont Crest, it probably has nothing to do with the pope. It could be Vernon and Anita burning old wedding photos. But more than likely it’s Leslie burning bridges and going full-on DEFCON Dana.

Every week I try to figure out what I’m going to title my column. In some weeks, the show dialogue writes the title for me. Such was the case with my column a couple of weeks ago about Joey’s infamous Ass Tax. Last week, Gatecrashers sort of came to me because it seemed like the perfect word.

This week there were so many juicy nuggets within the dialogue that could have made for the perfect column title. So before I even get into the commentary portion of the column, I want to take a moment to acknowledge some of the amazing one-liners that the show’s writers graced us with.

The other contenders

“The Duprees have always been far more trouble than they’re worth,” says Bill who, I’d like to add, seems to also be far more trouble that he’s worth. Kettle much, William? Dani had a clapback that wasn’t so much zingy as it was sharp. “I can’t believe I ever loved such a soulless man.” It wasn’t delivered with the sass that Dani paraded around town with on her little vengeance tour, which I will talk about later in the column. It was a momentary glimpse into Dani’s true feelings and her true pain.

Tomás even got in on the action this week. Let me just say that I don’t find him to be the most riveting character. His emotions span from A aaaaaaaaaaaaall the way to B. Tomás would react the same to winning the lottery as he would when placing an order for take out at Orphey Gene’s. Still, he tickled me with his remark to Eva that, “Hanging out with polarizing folks doesn’t faze me.” He didn’t deliver it as a punchline, but the deadpan made for great comedy.

Another runner-up was Vernon strolling into the living room with the newspaper and declaring, “We didn’t make the paper.” Same, Vernon. Same. One could be forgiven for actually thinking that he might have been disappointed to not have the family’s latest scandal plastered across the front page.

Like mother, like daughter

It was another soccer-shortened week, which kind of annoyed me. I suppose on the positive side it kept me wanting and needing my Beyond the Gates fix. You can’t drop a paternity bombshell at a party and then take a two-day break to watch people chase a black-and-white ball up and down a field. It stinks — and no amount of Febreze will help.

Trisha Mann-Grant continues to shine as the villainous misunderstood Leslie/Sherry/Dana or, affectionately, LSD. It’s not always easy for a “newcomer” to do that when they are pared opposite soap opera veterans. I used the term newcomer in quotes because Trisha isn’t a newbie actor — it’s just that this is her first foray into daytime dramas. In an Instagram Live with Daphnée Duplaix, Mann-Grant admitted that there are aspects of working on a soap that she is still getting used to. The two biggest? The pace and the amount of material.

It takes a great deal of confidence in a performer to have them be the delivery device for your big story bombshell. Trisha’s LSD moves about town with equal parts delusion, menace, swag, and crazy. The fact that she strolled into the Dupree lion den proves that she’s at least three out of the four. LSD even fended off the zingers, venom, and quips from the Dupree family — and then dropped off a DNA test and birth certificate. It appears that Leslie, like Vernon and Tyrell, is also a chess player.

Crazy in love

I no longer know exactly what LSD wants. From her nutso dream about Ted opting to leave Nicole for her (coupled with her earlier daydream that Nicole simply relinquished Ted to her), I have to believe that Leslie is only interested in Ted. Everything else and everyone else is collateral damage.

What I never understand — and this happens in real life, too — is how a woman would think that a man who left her decades earlier would suddenly want her back. Is it the belief that a magical baby will fix everything? I once had neighbors who had clearly fallen out of love with each other. Their relationship was toxic. Tox. Ick. But they thought that if they had a baby, it would magically make everything great. Spoiler alert: it didn’t, and the baby ended up suffering because of it.

But back to the fictional delusion. As far as we know, Ted didn’t make secret visits to Leslie. They didn’t have any other sort of connection after he had Bill run her out of town. To the masses, Ted was fully and totally in love with Nicole. So, blowing up Ted and Nicole’s would… make Ted turn to Leslie rather than fight for his marriage? Let’s say he did. Do you really want to be someone’s second choice? Is it really a win that someone is with you because they have no better option?

The confrontation

Back in my column called Lights! Camera! Potassium AF! I wrote that an Eva/Leslie “confrontation scene would make for must-see television.” Did I lie?!

The quickness that Leslie turned on Eva was downright shocking. I get it, Eva turned on Leslie first. But did she really? All Eva wanted was for her mother to not blowup Ted and Nicole’s spot at the anniversary dinner. Eva was still very much in favor of telling them the truth… just in a more private way. It wasn’t until LSD went all “DEFCON Dana” that Eva had to do what she felt she needed to do to prevent disaster.

Leslie wasn’t just angry. She was diabolically cruel. Look at how LSD told the Duprees that all she wanted was to wrap her arms around her daughter and show her love. A short time later, Leslie had the chain on the apartment door and forced Eva to sleep in her car. The next day, Leslie went as far as to mock the daughter she supposedly cared about. I get it. She’s mad. But her reaction was completely uncalled for.

“You put that no good, lying, cheating man ahead of me!” Leslie screamed hysterically. There it is. It’s not about Eva. It’s not about Nicole. And it’s not about the “little brownie man.”

Eva stood still, staring intently at her mother. There was no weird facial expression to serve as a distraction. No attempts to interrupt. All that actress Ambyr Michelle did was breathe… deeply… and rhythmically… until Eva had had enough. It was a brilliant decision.

If a baby is born in a forest and no one is around to see it…

Eva was finally able to vent all of her emotions in one fell swoop. She had been lied to her entire life. She believed that Ted wanted nothing to do with her. In reality, he didn’t even know she existed. The anger she had for him… was misplaced. The undying loyalty Eva had for her mother… was misplaced.

Now, Eva had to wrestle with the fact that any future she might have had with her father was probably not going to happen. The devastation she’d mistakenly felt over her father’s rejection was not all too painfully real. The rejection was about to multiply. Leslie rolled out a blue suitcase and put it at Eva’s feet. I knew what was happening, but I still couldn’t believe what I was seeing. LSD was throwing her daughter out of the apartment. Damn.

A sibling rivalry to end all rivalries

The Kat and Eva rivalry has been juicy from the jump. At first it was the well-to-do young woman being snarky to a not-as-well-to-do young woman. Then things got amped up when Kat learned that she and Eva were half-sisters. For Kat’s sake, please be sure to emphasize the “half” in half-sisters. Now, Kat is going to think that Eva is trying to move in on her man. Goodness.

It’s not exactly uncommon for two women to spar over a man. Usually it has something to do with the man’s mythical magical penis. But in the case of Kat and Eva, neither one has had sexytimes with Tomás. Aside from her playful banter with Tomás to make Kat jealous, I’m not even entirely sure that Eva is interested in Tomás. Maybe she is and I just don’t see it because I find Tomás to be snoozy.

Interestingly, a lot of fans now seem to think that Eva might not be Leslie’s daughter — something I have been questioning for weeks. In last week’s Comments section, Keith asked, “Anyone else THINK that Kat is actually Leslie’s biological daughter and that she did an early switcheroo at the hospital?” Now that I hadn’t thought about. LSD did mention that Kat and Eva were born about two weeks apart, which would seemingly nix that — but who knows?!

The only thing I will say is that Beyond the Gates, while soapy, had tried to make us think one soap trope is happening just to throw us off the scent.

Daphnée Don’t Play

For the past ten weeks or so, Nicole has been the rock. She’s been the person that everyone has turned to for advice. She’s been the one that checks on everyone to make sure that they are okay. You knew that would eventually change.

Daphnée Duplaix played her scenes masterfully. There were no histrionics. There were believable moments of anger and doubt. The tender moments with Dani, Anita, and Vernon were absolutely perfect. These are the moments we don’t get any more (or rarely get) on other soaps. Moments that are real and not contrived to advance plot. I absolutely believe that a woman whose heart had been broken might seek out her mom and dad. This is something that Beyond the Gates does so well. Not everything needs to be a heavy-handed plot device.

It must have been love

Now, let’s get into the part that might be controversial. I don’t think Ted’s affair should be the end of Nicole and Ted’s marriage. I say this mostly because I believe that Ted has been a devoted and loving husband ever since his… mess up with Dana, later Leslie, and still later Sherry. Even Dani, who is rarely seen as a voice of reason, said something similar.

Dani remarked that neither Nicole nor Ted were the same people that they were “a lifetime ago,” and rightly noted that it would have taken a herculean amount of effort from Ted to fake the love he had for Nicole for the past 20some years.

The fly in the ointment is that Eva will be a constant reminder of Ted’s infidelity. So even if she forgives Ted, I don’t know how she gets past it while Eva is still around. And it certainly looks like Eva is sticking around because she and Ted have agreed to try to “reset” their relationship. I can’t see Ted giving his daughter the boot just to get his wife back.

Regardless, I cannot wait to see what I think will be an epic smackdown between Nicole and LSD next week.

Dani’s jagged little pill tour

I got so much enjoyment out of watching Dani make the stops around town telling various people off. It was like she stepped into the body of Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know.” It’s not like Dani didn’t warn us about what she was going to do. “I want to snatch my earrings off and have a couple of minutes with all of them — Leslie, Eva, Ted, and Bill,” she snarled before Nicole talked her down. Well, talked her down for about two-point-three seconds.

Dani got the chance to blast Eva even though it wasn’t planned. As Eva gathered her belongings and thought back lovingly to the way that Nicole used to fragrance the room with Febreze, Dani showed up and got to give her a mini tongue-lashing.

Dani did make a planned tour stop at Bill and Hayley’s place, which was filled with digs. “Hayley, honey, excuse me but the adults have to discuss something,” made me chuckle for quite some time. The glibness was short-lived as Bill sort of filled Dani in on all the things she didn’t know about her family. I like that Bill kept the actual details a secret, instead telling Dani to talk to the “ringmasters, Vernon and Anita Dupree.” Hmm… things might be getting messier.

Beyond the Gates Speed Round

Here are some rapid fire thoughts on other action from the week gone by.

Merry Christmaversary

Even though I know it wasn’t, Kat’s dress kept giving my Christmas vibes. That red sequin frock just made me feel like we should be drinking eggnog and waiting for Saint Nick and his reindeer to arrive. Knowing Kat, she might try to exchange Eva for another gift.

Leslie Bobbitt

Why on earth did Leslie need a super-sharp steak knife to cut a banana? There are several possible explanations. First, she’s “delulu.” Second, it was the only clean knife in the drawer. Third, it is foreshadowing that she might cut a bitch in the not-too-distant future.

June gloom

I have to say that I am not feeling the June storyline at the moment. I don’t find the character sympathetic, even though I want to. There is bound to be more to this new character in the weeks ahead — like maybe she is related to someone already on the canvas — so I will try to be patient until then.

If you have to say you’re not acting like a child… and a missed opportunity

Martin has reverted to being somewhat unlikeable again. He’s hurt, so I am giving him a little latitude, but these constant temper tantrums? It’s not a good look, though he is a politician and that seems to be all most of them do any more. Maybe these recent waves of outbursts have something to do with this secret the show has been teasing for months.

I have to say that I was completely taken out of the scene when an angry Martin returned to his apartment and threw books around… all under the watchful eye of a bottle of Tide. As I have said before, I am not opposed to product placement and sponsorship. But this made zero sense. None.

It would have been far better to have Smitty return home and, after comforting his husband, say something like, “Let’s get a Swiffer and clean up this mess.”

P&G has provided no compensation to me for mentioning their products in this column.

Thankfully the days of two-day preemptions seem to be behind us — at least for now. In the week ahead we get a new Ted, so it will be interesting to see if the show uses the recast as a way to “take the character in a new direction.” It also seems like we are inching ever so closer to finding out what Martin’s secret is.

I’ll be tuning in and I’ll continue to share my thoughts on Beyond the Gates as long as you’re interested in reading them. Thank you for reading and, as always, please feel free to share your thoughts on my column or Beyond the Gates in the Comments section below.

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Life outside the gates

My former Two Scoops columnists Liz Masters and Tamilu have joined me here on my personal web site — and they are still writing about General Hospital. Check out Liz’s latest GH column, Truth bombs.

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