Apples and Eggplant, Zebra and Hippos: A commentary by Soap Central founder Dan J Kroll about the CBS soap opera Beyond the Gates for the week ending November 14, 2025.
One of the greatest mysteries of all time is – no, not the sound of one hand clapping – whether or not something can be true and false at the same time. In theory, you’d think something is either right or wrong. It’s either an apple or an eggplant. A zebra or a hippo. In actuality, there are shades of truth that can really muddy the waters.
Let Kat Out of the Bag
What got me traveling down this road of right and wrong was Kat’s heart-to-heart with Ted. I absolutely love Kat and think that actress Colby Muhammad is one of the best finds in quite some time. That said, for as much as I love the character, I also get frustrated by her. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
Way back when Beyond the Gates started, the friction between Kat and Eva was one of the best things about the show. The whole “cultured and refined” versus the “around the way girl” (Kat and L.L.’s words, not mine!) was juicy, popcorn munching drama at its best.
After the whole anniversary party debacle, I hoped that Kat and Eva might find some common ground and embrace their sisterhood. Eva did try to stop LSD (that’s Leslie/Sherry/Dana for new readers) and she had been lied to her entire life. When that didn’t happen, I thought that sleazy Tomás putting the moves on both Eva and Kat might be the thing to bring the young women together. Then that went off the rails when Eva and Tomas did the do. So, I am standing on the dock waving as that ship sails off into the sunset.
Sisters and Haters
While I am okay with Kat and Eva remaining enemies, I still think them being frenemies might work a little better for a long-term story. I’d miss their sniping at each other, but the idea of hearing them lob insults like “ratchet urchin” and “spoiled bitch” for the next 30 years is a little tiresome.
As an only child, I have no idea what it would be like to have to “share” a parent’s love with a sibling. There was a time when I thought I might not be an only child, but that weird and wacky twist is a story that I will talk more about in the memoir that I’ll never write.
A Dad By Any Other Name
Anyway, I don’t get why Kat objected so strongly to Eva calling Ted “dad.” I imagine that hearing Eva use that word for the first time was incredibly jarring. I don’t call my mother’s new husband “dad,” mostly because he is not my father. He’s my mother’s husband. In this case, Ted really is Eva’s dad and Kat has known that since May. Eva can call him Ted, Dr. Richardson, or Rumpelstiltskin but nothing — including Kat’s take on the situation — will change the fact that the guy is still Eva’s dad.
It was wild to me that Kat equated Eva’s use of the word dad to some sort of demotion in Ted’s life. Yes, it does seem lately that no one in the Richardson family – especially Ted — has had Kat’s back or given her the time of day. But it was a little heartbreaking to hear her say that she felt that Ted no longer loved her as much as he once did because there was another child in the mix. Ted had the perfect response. “Love isn’t like a pie,” he said. “It’s not like you eat all the pieces and there’s no more.”
A quick observation: I like that after the sisters squabbled for what seemed like the billionth time, Eva looked around Kat’s living quarters and commented, “Cute space, by the way.”
Mad World
In my Beyond the Gates commentary last week, I admitted to struggling with why Ashley was so angry at Derek. Here we are a week later, and I still don’t get it. Way back when Derek was first injured, I theorized in my August 16 column that Derek might fake paralysis in an effort to keep Ashley. That isn’t quite what happened. Derek was faking continued paralysis, but he claims it was so that he could stand up at the altar and surprise Ashley on their wedding day. I have no idea why he thought that was a good idea, but I don’t see it as being malicious. It was more stupid than anything else.
But you know who is waaaaay overreacting to Derek’s lie? Naomi. Naomi is more angry about Derek’s withholding the truth than Ashley is. And it almost seems like Naomi’s sole goal is to fan the flames of Ashley’s anger. There’s literally no reason for Naomi to be this mad.
More Projection Than a Movie Theater
I am not a psychiatrist, but I have been known to play one in this column. I think what’s going on here is called “projecting.” Naomi is venting her own anger over the pregnancy predicament with Jacob. I am in no way telling Naomi how she should feel about that change in her marriage, but I would suggest she dial it back when it comes to other people’s relationship woes. Naomi has basically been telling Ashley how she should feel about Derek.
Another weird thing: Naomi was pressing way too hard to toss Derek’s chair into the trash. I know the slash-and-burn route is standard fare of girls-done-wrong rom-coms and such, but ma’am… that is not your chair to throw away, and it’s not like Derek could carry the (admittedly ugly) thing out on his own.
The Fire’s In Your Pants
I was shocked and awed when Derek’s fellow firefighter, Sheryl, started making out with him in Ashley’s apartment. Y-i-k-e-s. To be clear, I saw it coming. The looks… the fact that they were standing about 3 inches from each other… the soft, breathy conversation. I leaned in closer to the television and gasped, “They aren’t, are they?” They were and they did.
I half-expected Ashley (or someone else) to walk in on them. Where does this go? Are Derek and Ashley Beyond the Gates “endgame” as they say? At the moment, I see more interesting romantic possibilities for Derek than I do for Ashley. I know they claim to be just friends, but Shanice and Derek are still very much a possibility for me.
While I supported “Dashley” in the past, I feel like now Ashley and Derek will just keep making up to break up. And that is already old. Maybe Ashley needs to be backburnered for a while or maybe someone can arrange for her to work at a hospital in Paris for a few months. I don’t want the character to be written off, but I do think that Ashley’s tortured poet’s lover society needs a bit of a break.
Falling In Love (Uh-Oh)
Dani and Andre are not the first soap opera couple to get married for some reason other than love and later fall in actual love. It’s a soap opera staple dating all the way back to Unga Bunga. My spelling might not be correct, but I am pretty sure that was the caveman version of All My Children.
What is different about this couple is their level of emotional connection. Yes, they are silly and still in their playful sex-at-the-drop-of-a-hat phase, but they absolutely care about each other on a higher plane.
Dani knew from a single selfie that Andre did not want to be part of the Forrester Creations photoshoot. The ensuing conversation was one of the most honest adult conversations I’ve ever heard on a soap.
The short version of the story is that Andre admitted to having insecurities about his appearance. He was worried that his star power could not match Dani and that he would ultimately tank her big return to modeling. That’s not an admission you hear a man make very often. Rather than try to twist his arm or prop him up with endless praise, Dani canceled the photoshoot because she was more concerned about her husband and his feelings than an ad campaign. For someone who’s often labeled a “wild child,” this is an incredibly selfless thing to do.
There’s Always a Work Around
I have a few thoughts on this.
Andre is a renowned photographer, so I am sure he knew that there were ways to work around any of his insecurities. I’m not talking about Photoshop, though that is obviously one. I am sure a photo could have been taken where only a portion of Andre’s face was shown, or maybe he was seen only from behind, lending more mystery to the “it” couple. There are also those unknown hands in the famous Rolling Stone photo that are holding Janet’s, um, Jacksons.
Another thought is that, at least in the real world, this would undoubtedly be something that gets brought up in an argument. You know, where one person is mad and yells something like, “I gave up a massive modeling opportunity because of you!” I don’t know that this will happen with Dani and Andre, but it’s not out of the realm of possibility.
Mother Knows Best
I think June’s transformation from someone who tried to pay for her Orphey Gene’s bill with Monopoly money to wise village elder is a little too fast to be believed, but I welcome it. Perhaps June has been getting mental health care off-screen and we just haven’t been privy to it.
Initially, June was hit or miss for me. Her As the World Turns prank was fun, but her bad attitude was a turn off. Now she is much more level-headed and fills a nice assortment of roles on the show, like comedic relief and advice giver. I was certain that June was going to be crafted as a wedge between Martin and Smitty and the kids. I’m really happy that June seems… and I struggle to find an explanation that doesn’t sound insensitive… that she seems to have an understanding of her role.
I vocalized some sort of approval when June told Samantha, “You can’t use me as an escape from your problem.”
We also learned a little bit about June’s upbringing. She had a strict mother and a laissez-faire dad. June’s storytelling – “The summer before I was 11…” – reminded me very much of the narration at the start of the movie Eve’s Bayou. I have no idea if that was intentional or if I am making comparisons that aren’t there, but these columns are meant to be a look into my mind… and that’s currently what’s in it!
She’s a Little Bit Dangerous
Speaking of looking for things that might not be there, I have this nagging feeling that Vanessa is up to something. I’m still not on board with all of your theories that Doug is alive somewhere. But I now fully believe that Vanessa is playing Joey. The look on her face at the end of Friday’s episode of Beyond the Gates just told me she’s up to something.
Vanessa seemed to take incredible pleasure in hearing Joey say that he loved her. It was very much an in-passing declaration of love, but a declaration of love nonetheless. Noticeably, she didn’t say it back. If you think about it, Vanessa is slowly getting Joey to bring her into every aspect of his business. He’s getting close to telling her all of his dirty deeds.
As far as I can tell, there are three possible scenarios. The first? Vanessa gets off on having power over Joey, but really does want to be his partner. In the second scenario, Vanessa still gets off on the power, but she now sees herself as the boss and wants to wrest power from Joey and take over his enterprise. In the third of the scenarios, Vanessa is infiltrating Joey’s enterprise as part of a government or police effort to bring him down.
The last situation would explain a lot of Vanessa’s actions since Doug’s death. Of course, it doesn’t explain her getting involved with Joey before Doug died (or “died” for those of you who think he’s temporarily vacationing in the Maldives). I suppose, Vanessa could have started off wanting revenge on Joey for taking advantage of Doug’s gambling addiction. She caught feelings, but after Doug’s death the pendulum swung back to revenge.
I’d be interested to hear which of the three scenarios you think is most likely and why. Or, if you have another idea, I’d like to hear that, too. There’s a comments section below the very end of the column. You can share your feedback on the column or the show there. I do reply, and sometimes I even place comments into my columns.
Beyond the Gates Speed Round
Here are some of the other things on Beyond the Gates that have me thinking.
Smoke, But No Fire
I am tickled by how hard the Beyond the Gates writers are trying to gaslight us into believing that Vernon and Sharon are having an affair. I do not and will not ever believe that there is anything freaky deaky going on between them. If there were, I do not think that they’d risk being out in public in the DMV. They’d go to Argentina the way elected officials are supposed to when they cheat on their spouses.
Smoke, But No Fire (Part Two)
The writers also keep toying with us with the will-they-or-won’t-they saga of Nicole and Ted. Since their divorce, there is a definite shift in the way that Nicole and Ted interact. We’ve seen Eeyoredore (that’s still my working nickname for the mopey version of Ted), Angry Ted, and now Present Ted. After weeks of being holed up in his hotel room, Ted now seems to suddenly want to be a part of society. He also seems like he’s finally making an effort to win back Nicole. Granted, it now falls under the “too little, too late” category, but at least he finally seems to give a damn. Because, Ted, as they say, if you don’t give a damn we don’t… well, you finish that phrase with whatever three words come to mind.
We Are Family
I am glad that the Richardson-Smith family is back to being happy together. I thought Samantha’s apology was another really strong performance from Najah Jackson. These past two weeks really need to end up on her Emmy reel, should she opt to submit herself.
After the family patched things up, it was funny to watch Tyrell squirm when Smitty and Martin said that they wanted to have Jessica and her parents over for dinner. “How did I get involved in this?” Tyrell asked.
I like the rapport between Smitty and Kat. Now that I’ve seen it, I can’t help but feel like we’ve been cheated out of more scenes between Mike Manning and Colby Muhammad. Hopefully, there will be more in the future.
Born This Way
In last week’s Beyond the Gates column, I took Martin to task for being so quick to pop off when things don’t go his way. As it turns out, we learned this week that he’s always been that way. Kat acknowledged it. Nicole talked about it. And even Martin himself grudgingly admitted to it, though he chalked it up to oldest child syndrome or some other nonsense.
I was letting Martin slide because I thought his attitude changed after the incident with KKKenneth and his brother. Turns out he’d been a jackass since exiting the womb. I’ll file that away for future reference when I feel inclined to grant him some grace.
Tell Me More: The Pie and Cristal Edition
What in the world is wrong with Smitty’s Christmas pie? I mean, if your own husband doesn’t like your pie, it has to be some kind of terrible. Nicole’s face expressed equal horror. I need more details and I need photos (and possibly the recipe) immediately. I also hope that no one thwarts Smitty’s holiday baking plans because this this culinary catastrophe must be seen!
Another thing, I also want more details about is this Cristal/Siberian tiger-involved reason that Dani is banned from returning to Dubai.
Roxanne’s Laura’s Revenge
I’d like a little justice for Laura. I understand that she is rightfully traumatized by and terrified of Leslie. Buuuut I can’t be the only one who wanted to see Laura snap and beat the you-know-what out of LSD. If she does it in the Dupree home, I am pretty sure they’e turn a blind eye. And if the writers don’t want to go there, at least let Laura have a daydream where she, I dunno, runs Leslie off the road.
Speaking of Leslie, her constant barging into places that she doesn’t need to be has gotten stale. And why do people keep allowing her into their homes, offices, and other spaces?
Beyond the Gates Lines of the Week
The Beyond the Gates writing team seems to be having a little too much fun. Here are some of the lines of dialogue that tickled my funny bone or that I found memorable over the past week (and haven’t already mentioned in this column).
“Is Hayley your niece?” — Izaiah to Bill upon seeing the much younger woman by his side.
“They hate new money.” — Leslie, griping that she needs to do more to impress the people of Fairmont Crest.
“Nobody in this club has money older than Emancipation, Mama.” — Eva
“There are the peacocks… and [there’s] everyone else.” — Leslie
“You stick out like a zebra in a hippo family.” – Andre, explaining to Dani that his lack of charisma would stick out like a sore thumb in their photo shoot.
“That plays into our new family motto: If you want a fruitful sex life, keep a happy ex-wife.” — Bill
“Okay, you coulda kept that private” — Naomi
“That’s definitely not a saying.” – Jacob
“But what do I get?” Leslie, after learning her donation would get her a star next to her name in the program.
“That warm feeling that comes from knowing you performed a good deed. That’ll be a new sensation, yes?” – Anita
Follow my Random Acts of Dan
That’s all I have for this week’s My View From Beyond the Gates column. Thank you for reading and, as always, please feel free to share your thoughts on my column or Beyond the Gates in the Comments section below.
If you’ve enjoyed my column this week and want to see what I have written about Beyond the Gates in previous weeks, you can check those out in the My View From Beyond the Gates archive.
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Life outside the gates
Two of my former Two Scoops columnists from Soap Central, Liz Masters and Tamilu, have joined me here on my personal web site — and they are still writing about General Hospital. Liz Masters is on deck with week with a new column called, Prison Blues.
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dan
Holding Janet’s Jacksons 🤣🤣🤣