Skankaroni and poison apples - Beyond the Gates Commentary for the week ending June 13, 2025. Soap Central founder Dan J Kroll shares his opinions and editorial on daytime in a new home -- DanJKroll.com
Skankaroni image by Dan J Kroll | Photos: Dan J Kroll and CBS.

My View From Beyond the Gates: Skankaroni and poison apples

When you’re feeling down, forget about putting on a happy face or turning a frown upside-down. It’s 2025 and sadness and anger call for a little pottery therapy. But before you conjure up images of Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze, it’s not that kind of therapy. It’s time for a smashing look back at what happened this past week on Beyond the Gates.

It might be short notice, but if you are looking for a way to celebrate Father’s Day, consider planning a Beyond the Gates inspired brunch for dear ol’ dad. It doesn’t matter what you serve as appetizers or accompaniments, but it is imperative that your main course is a heaping helping of Skankaroni. I’m not entirely sure what’s all in it, but I’d imagine it involves putting some sort of meat where it doesn’t belong. It can be served with a side of hoe cakes. To wrap up the meal, serve some of Kat’s delicious poison apple tarts.

Actually, maybe it’s a better idea to make reservations. You never know if and when Dani will show up and start smashing dinnerware.

No mugs were harmed in the makiโ€ฆ actually, scrap that

Beyond the Gates continues its crusade against fine china. I don’t know what Michele Val Jean has against dinnerware, but I think it deserves to be the subject of a future 60 Minutes exposรฉ. If you are keeping track, I believe that Dani Dupree has now destroyed six coffee mugs. What’s more, she has now enlisted her sister in her acts of silver civil disobedience.

Karla Mosley (Dani Dupree) and Daphnรฉe Duplaix (Nicole Richardson)
Beyond the Gates | Screenshot

Silliness aside, I actually enjoyed seeing the usually straight-laced Nicole let loose and smash a mug or two. I also picked up a new word thanks to all the smashing: skankaroni. Contrary to the header image of this column, skankaroni is not a canned pasta dish. It is also not a top ten hit from Bobby Brown. It’s also an ixnay to the idea that it is some sort of rare lizard.

Skankaroniness is probably in the eye of the beholder. If I were beholding the matter, I’d say that Hayley ranks higher on the skankaroni scale than Ted. It has nothing to do with Ted being a guy and giving him a pass for mannish behavior. No, I believe that Hayley set out to steal the very-much-married Bill away from Dani. Ted strayed from his marriage, but it would seem that he’s been a model husband ever since.

Et tu Skankaron-te?

If she isn’t careful, though, I could see Dani earning a place on the artwork of the Skankaroni can. They way she and Bill continue to look at each other is… highly inappropriate. Bill is married to Hayley, and Dani would be no better than Hayley if she tried to start up a renewed romance with Bill.

Think I’m overthinking things or seeing things that aren’t there? Dani talked about Bill while she was naked in bed with Andre. It’s only a matter of time before she calls out Bill’s name while engaged in sexytimes. Plus, now that more people are figuring out that Dani and Andre are seeing each other, I think it will push Dani further away from Andre.

A stroke of bad luck with a side of good story
Smile! It’s Timon Kyle Durrett (Bill Hamilton)
Beyond the Gates | Screenshot

Billโ€™s health scare has provided a whole lot of ancillary story. Itโ€™s brought at least a temporary dรฉtente to the hostilities between Bill and his daughters (and ex-wife). Itโ€™s shown us another side of Billโ€™s personality, though it seems to be an unwritten rule that alpha males have to be cranky babies when they get sick. Weโ€™ve also been given some additional insight into Shanice as well as given her something other to do than gossip. Oh, and itโ€™s also ramped up the flirtation between Madison and Chelsea.

Bill’s bickering with Ashley has been greatly entertaining. Apparently the two have known each other for a long time and that has added to their friction. Bill was actually annoyed that Ashley called him “Mister Hamilton.” Hayley walking in on Bill and Ashley in a pseudo-embrace caused by him nearly falling out of bed was good soap camp. It was made funnier by Ashley insisting, “This is not what it looks like.”

It’s also really smart writing to have Bill use his lawyering while being a bad patient. He has objected to treatments, threatened to sue for defamation for being called a softie, and he pushed back on being told to smile because women had told him it was “offensive” to be told to smile.

Shanice sassily telling Bill to “Cognate this” made me giggle.

Gay’s anatomy

The juicy little twist of Madison being Bill’s doctor has been fun. It might not be so fun when Bill learns about Madison and Chelsea’s burgeoning relationship, but for now it’s all rainbows and butterflies. I love, love the way that Kat is all up in Chelsea’s business regarding Dr. Montgomery. It feels very real, very contemporary, and very loving.

Congratulations to Coco Gauff on her big win at the French Open, but sheโ€™s got nothing on the neck-breaking, back-and-forth rally of how my opinion of Ashley and Derek has changed over the past 16 weeks that Beyond the Gates has been on the air.

First, they absolutely bored me to tears. There was little in the way of on-screen chemistry between the two. I hate to say it, but I think the blame falls mostly on Derek. Heโ€™s about as exciting as a fire hydrant. But like a fire hydrant, I am thankful that he exists because first responders deserve all of our thanks and gratitude.

It was Derekโ€™s work as a fireman/first responder that first made me root for Derek and Ashley. When Derek was injured in the fire and suffered memory loss, he was at his most interesting. I feel horrible for saying that, but when he had to ask Ashley who she was every few minutes, my heart absolutely broke for her.

Derek recovered faster than it takes Nicole to spray her way through a can of Febreze. When he did, Derek and Ashley started stinking up the screen again. I think one of my biggest issues is that their love comes across as being very juvenile. I have no idea how old Ashley and Derek are supposed to be, but their relationship has a very high school-feeling to me.

Moose und Squirrel

When Derek and Ashley decided that they should live together, I was once again enthralled. Derek finally had a little bit of seasoning: he had range of emotions. I know I called their relationship juvenile, but I actually liked when they were squabbling over leftovers. That felt very real. Living with someone for the first time can be very challenging.

The live together was short lived and so was my renewed interest in them. Derek walks around like Schleprock from the Flintstones. Or maybe itโ€™s Eeyore. Possibly even the Snuffleupagus. Derek strongarmed his way into living with Ashley, so I donโ€™t think he gets to be mopey that it didnโ€™t work out. Ashley also doesnโ€™t get to boo-hoo because she clearly didnโ€™t even try to make things work with the new living arrangements. My leftovers! My stainless steel refrigerator! Your ugly chair! I donโ€™t like Edgar! (Thatโ€™s the name I gave to Derekโ€™s moose head.)

That ship is called the Titanic

I had to chuckle when Ashley told Derek that her mom, Jan, was their biggest shipper. I think she won that title by default because I think Jan is their only supporter. It’s possible that I could reconsider my stance on Dashley, but they are going to have to really try to win back my affection. Derek made some serious progress when he just said hell no to LSD.

I knew that the show was setting up a romcom proposal. Ashley temporarily took on Derekโ€™s Eeyore persona as she was convinced that she was about to get dumped. However, she made sure that she was going to look good when getting jettisoned by her boyfriend. I donโ€™t blame her since the Uptown seems to be the pickup spot โ€“ or at least it is for Chelsea.

The proposal wasnโ€™t exactly my idea of romantic, but it tracks for these two and I wasnโ€™t mad at that. The Doomsoaping voice in my head says that Ashley will say no, but based on her talk with Andre about how much she loved Derek, Iโ€™ll wager that we will have our first Beyond the Gates engagement. The previews at the end of the show seemed to imply that Ashley will have some kind of naughty dream about Andre, which plays into post-engagement cold feet.

Doomsoaping II: The Feeling Resurfaces

I know that I have made many mentions of my Doomsoaping โ€“ thatโ€™s a term I coined for watching a soap opera and expecting the absolute worst to happen. I honestly donโ€™t think this is a โ€œmeโ€ thing. After watching soaps for so long and having seen what some soaps will do, I think itโ€™s perfectly normal to pick up on cues that something not-so-good is about to happen. As Iโ€™ve said, no one ever just gets a headache on a soap. Itโ€™s almost always a brain tumor.

I got that Doomsoaping feeling this past week about a storyline andโ€ฆ I donโ€™t know how I feel about it. In the midst of all the Articulettes drama, there were several tender scenes between Vernon and Anita where Vernon told Anita how much he loved her. He also made another comment to the effect of heโ€™d always be there for her.

All of these lovey-dovey moments didnโ€™t make me swoon. No, they made me very, very nervous. Iโ€™ve been conditioned to know that these sorts of statements mean the bottom is about to fall out. HOWEVER! Itโ€™s not just me that senses something isnโ€™t quite right. My secret first-time soap opera viewer turned to me during the Anita/Vernon phone call and asked, โ€œHeโ€™s gonna die, isnโ€™t he?โ€

Die another day

To be clear, I donโ€™t know that something bad is going to happen to Vernon. Itโ€™s justโ€ฆ a weird feeling. Beyond the Gates wouldnโ€™t kill off a major character so early into the seriesโ€™ run, right? Beyond the Gates wouldnโ€™t be the first drama series to do something like that. Hell, Ryan Phillippe was killed off in the very first episode of the series Big Sky โ€“ and he was promoted as the star of the show.

Vernon is the only main character who has yet to have his own significant storyline. Is that intentional or will his story be more of a slow burn? There have been hints that Vernon is somehow tied to Martinโ€™s secret, but Iโ€™ll talk more about that a little later in this column. In the meantime, keep your ears tuned to the dialogue and let me know if you think my Doomsoaping has merit or if I am wigging out like Leslie.

Not just phoning it in

Now for a really weird and random observation because I think it shows that Beyond the Gates is trying to do things differently. In the phone call between Anita and Vernon, I liked that multiple camera angles were used. Typically, youโ€™d have a side-by-side with a single take. Here, each half of the screen cut to different camera angles on each performer. Itโ€™s an incredibly small detail, but I still think itโ€™s significant.

How do we move past the past?

Beyond the Gates | Screenshot

Well, the Articulettes drama sure came to a speedy resolution. The trio has been at odds forโ€ฆ 30 years (?) and they managed to patch things up in just about 30 total minutes of airtime. I donโ€™t necessarily see that as a bad thing. I think when you are as close as the women once were and when you factor in where they are in their lives, they probably realized fairly quickly that life is short and they still very much loved each other. At some point, holding a grudge becomes a little silly. So says someone who had been holding at least three grudges for more than a decade. I, however, am allowed to be a hypocrite. Itโ€™s called artistic license. Or something.

I really liked Tracy stepping up to be the voice of reason for the three women. When she ordered Anita and Sharon to sit down next to her on the sofa, I knew things were about to get real. Tracy pulled out a photo of โ€œfour little colored girls growing up in the projectsโ€ and all the emotions started to pour out. It wasnโ€™t all sunshine and lollipops because there were a few jabs mixed in for good (and honest) measure.

Are we done here?

Moving back to the Articulettes ,and in my best Janet Jackson โ€œMiss You Muchโ€ music video voice, โ€œIs that the end?โ€ Is the Articulettes storyline over and done? Will those old tensions resurface and put the kibosh on the concert? Will we see the women practicing or will that all be done off-screen? If there is a concert, will we actually get to see it? Will the concert be filmed in an actual venue to make up for the ho-hum fashion show that had only a handful of actual people in attendance?

FYC: ATL x DMV

Beyond the Gates is filmed in Atlanta. Iโ€™m also pretty certain that they could find a venue somewhere that would happily let the show tape there in exchange for a little bit of promotion on CBSโ€™s social media channels.

I am sure it would be very easy to find an up-and-comer in the music industry in Atlanta to write some throwback tunes for the women to perform. Weโ€™ve already hard snippets of a New Jack Swing styled song. I will continue to demand that the show release at least one Articulettes song on a streaming service. One Life to Live released music when they had musical episodes and that was over a decade ago.

Katlock and the curious case of the motorcycle helmet

Is it just me or are LSDโ€™s reactions all over the place lately? LSD, if you are a newer reader, is what Iโ€™ve decided to call Leslie/Sherry/Dana. Yes, she also went by Anna, but that ruins the acronym so I willfully ignore it.

When Jacob found the motorcycle helmet and gloves, LSD played it cool. That’s perfectly normal, or as normal as Leslie gets. After the police left, however, Leslie smiled menacingly and made it sound like she had a plan to make sure she remained a free woman. Later, though, she was a weepy mess as she accused Eva of having planted the motorcycle helmet to get her locked up. Elsewhere, when Mona summoned Leslie to Orphey Gene’s, LSD seemed genuinely hurt when Mona told her that she’d never be able to forgive her for what she did to Nicole and Ted.

Lump all of those emotions with the Leslie that enjoys the cat-and-mouse play with Kat and the borderline-obsessed Dana that throws herself at Ted and… I have no idea what’s going on in her mind.

Maybe she’s born with it…

Is LSD truly suffering from some sort of personality disorder? Does she know exactly what she’s doing and engaging in some sort of calculated, though cray cray, plan of attack? Is Leslie perfectly sane, but being driven a little “delulu” from having to make everything up on the fly? Could it be a combination of all of the above?!

I have no idea and I think that’s actually part of the fun of LSD. It will be a bit of a balancing act, though, because I don’t think Leslie’s antics can go on forever. Even the best villains in daytime have had a shelf life. Does she get written off? Will Leslie be reformed somehow? Does she have a brain tumor?! I’d be interested in hearing your take on what you think lies ahead for LSD.

Do you listen to the whole podcast?

I am really starting to wonder if Kat listens to her true crime podcasts in their entirety. She seems to know all of the ways that criminals get caught, but somehow knows nothing about the right and wrong way to go about obtaining that evidence.

Detective Marcel Malone made another appearance this past week. Heโ€™s been gone for so long that I actually thought the show had decided to drop the corrupt cop storyline. Since his tactics are already under a microscope, it would have been interesting to have had Malone snag LSDโ€™s beverage glass from the Uptown to use for a DNA sample. We learned later from Kat that items left out in public are, um, public domain and up for grabs.

It also would have been a nice nod since Malone was giving Jacob a hard time about how he always plays by the rules. It might have also cleared the way for LSD to get an unexpected โ€œget out of jail freeโ€ card. If Malone ends up getting busted at some point, it could pave the way for all of the cases heโ€™s been involved with to be retried, dismissed, or otherwise overturned. The DNA evidence would be considered โ€œthe poisoned apple,โ€ according to Kat, and Leslie would walk.

I suspect, though, that might involve Malone in one too many storylines. It appears he is somehow involved in whatever went on with Martin.

The color of your money

It looks like we are just days away from Martin’s secret being revealed. Obviously it is something really, really bad because Vernon flipped his wig when Martin said that he’d spoken to Nicole about his nightmares. Interestingly, Martin then shared that he knows everything about his nightmares; they are not blurry, bits and pieces of memories. We also were tipped off that Detective Malone figures into things.

Using soap algebra, I wonder if that means that Jacob’s dad also knows what happened. That might explain why he’s allowed the corrupt Malone to stick around the department.

Hiding in plain sight
Brandon Claybon and (Martin Richardson) Jason Vendryes (Kenneth)
Beyond the Gates | Screenshot

I don’t know who Creepy McLurker is, but he’s been lurking in the background ever since Jan and Leslie had their blowout at the diner. Since then, he’s been working at the clubhouse as a server named “Kenneth.” The actor playing the role has had an even easier gig than the actress who plays Laura. At least Laura got to speak every time she was on screen.

When Kenneth finally did get a line, he somehow got even creepier. His slow sidle up to Martin made it look like he was going to lick his ear or kiss him on the cheek. But no. Instead he whispered the line Martin has been haunted by: “Let’s see what color’s your money.”

My baby’s got a secret

The use of the word “color” makes me think that there is an element of racism involved in whatever went down. During one of Martin’s earliest nightmares, I swore I heard the sound of a gun firing. Was Martin attacked by Kenneth, a relative of Kenneth, or a group of Kenneths?

My early thought was that Martin was the one who shot someone and while I still think that is likely, the involvement of Malone allows some wiggle room to have had someone else pull the trigger. That’s assuming, of course, that someone was even shot.

I’d love to hear your thoughts about what happened the night in question. Send them to me on social media or scroll down the page to the Comments section and drop them there.

Beyond the Gates Speed Round

Here are some rapid fire thoughts about some of the other action from the week gone by.

Two’s company

Kat and Chelsea living and working together is going to be interesting. The way they grilled Andre when he burst into the new ChelseaKat headquarters was hilarious. “Are you sure there’s nothing you want us to pass along?” Kat asked on more than one occasion. Andre’s quick I’m Not a Dupree family tree breakdown was also really funny. The stage has been set for a Lucy and Ethel situation, but something tells me that the drama isn’t far behind.

I think I’m falling for you

Dani literally falling into Tomรกs’ arms was the soapiest romcom thing to happen in quite some time. When she did, I immediately said, “Oh, here she go.” On a typical soap, the trip and catch would set the stage for a not-too-future romance between Tomรกs and Dani. But being a different kind of soap, I don’t think that’s going to happen — especially after Dani later bumped into Tomรกs at the the hospital and pretty much threatened to Bobbitt him if he mistreated Kat.

The not-so-good doctor

It looks like Ted’s partner, Dr. Carlton Fitzgerald, is here to stay. His comments about Nicole make me think that he is going to make a play for her. I mean, he so much as said that he would. That would actually be good news, well, at least for me because I called that all the way back at the infamous anniversary party.

He might not be all bad news because he did make a baked goods metaphor when explaining that women don’t really need a man in their life: The goal is to be the frosting on the cake of their lives

More lines of the week

I’m not a common anything. — Kat

Closing the gates

That’s all I have for this week’s My View From Beyond the Gates column. I have to sit by the mailbox and wait for the residual checks from my image being used on cans of Skankaroni to start (k)rolling in.

I’ll be tuning in and I’ll continue to share my thoughts on Beyond the Gates as long as you’re interested in reading them. Thank you for reading and, as always, please feel free to share your thoughts on my column or Beyond the Gates in the Comments section below.

If you’ve enjoyed my column this week and want to see what I have written about Beyond the Gates in previous weeks, you can check those out in the My View From Beyond the Gates archive.

Have a penchant for gardening, interior design, or fixing up old houses? Check out my Manor Makeover series where I write about all of the things I’ve been up to here at Kroll Manor in Allentown, PA, over the past decade.

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My former Two Scoops columnists Liz Masters and Tamilu have joined me here on my personal web site — and they are still writing about General Hospital. Tamilu is back this week with a new column called, Baby daddy drama

To read more thoughts, opinions, rants, and raves about daytime television, be sure to check out our Editorial section.

7 Comments

  1. Heather

    I liked that Billโ€™s stroke gave us a bonafide medical story. So far everything has been rushed but this is the first medical story theyโ€™ve gone into depth with. It added Madison to the canvas and we actually get to see Ashley working with a patient. I know the show is trying to be different but a hospital is a soap staple. Give us a better medical setup. Are both Ted and Carlton plastic surgeons? I never understood why Ted was involved with Lauraโ€™s case.

    As for Derek and Ashley, I donโ€™t get why they are featured so heavily. It seems to be common among fans that theyโ€™re not popular together. I do think Derek should be recast. Ashley is good with other characters. And itโ€™s annoying that poor Naomi and Jacob are stuck with advising them all the time.

    I also had the same thought about Carlton at the engagement party. But I do think Ted and Nicole are endgame. This Martin story might bring them closer again.

    Leslie is annoying me now but I also donโ€™t know where theyโ€™re going with her. She seems to still be taping. Good villains shouldnโ€™t be normalized. They need to be in and out type characters and get some eventual consequences.

  2. Lisa

    This is a hilarious recap. Keep them coming. I’m also scared for Vernon and Anita. Like…I feel like she doesn’t return from Chicago and she dies there.

    • Oh goodness. I wasn’t even worried about Anita until you said something. Now I need a prayer bubble around her, too! ๐Ÿ˜„

      I am glad you enjoyed my take and I appreciate you reading it and leaving me a comment! โค๏ธ

  3. Kam

    I think Kenneth is a hired hand, I don’t think he attacked Martin or was directly involved in that incident. Kenneth has shown his face to Martin several times while serving him and Martin did not seem to notice him. I did, notice that when Martin had lunch with his dad Ted, Kenneth seemed to rush off before Ted could see him, even when Martin kept trying to call him back to take his dad’s order. Clearly Kenneth believes Ted will recognize him, but how, I’m not sure.

    I really liked Eva’s new hairstyle his week. Also, maybe it’s just me but I think Ted’s friend and partner might be interested in Eva as well as Nicole. At the wedding anniversary, he seemed like kind of a playboy, so if he is interested in both women, I could see him making a play for both. It’s more likely he’ll try for Nicole though.

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