When you’re feeling down, forget about putting on a happy face or turning a frown upside-down. It’s 2025 and sadness and anger call for a little pottery therapy. But before you conjure up images of Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze, it’s not that kind of therapy. It’s time for a smashing look back at what happened this past week on Beyond the Gates.
It might be short notice, but if you are looking for a way to celebrate Father’s Day, consider planning a Beyond the Gates inspired brunch for dear ol’ dad. It doesn’t matter what you serve as appetizers or accompaniments, but it is imperative that your main course is a heaping helping of Skankaroni. I’m not entirely sure what’s all in it, but I’d imagine it involves putting some sort of meat where it doesn’t belong. It can be served with a side of hoe cakes. To wrap up the meal, serve some of Kat’s delicious poison apple tarts.
Actually, maybe it’s a better idea to make reservations. You never know if and when Dani will show up and start smashing dinnerware.
No mugs were harmed in the maki… actually, scrap that
Beyond the Gates continues its crusade against fine china. I don’t know what Michele Val Jean has against dinnerware, but I think it deserves to be the subject of a future 60 Minutes exposé. If you are keeping track, I believe that Dani Dupree has now destroyed six coffee mugs. What’s more, she has now enlisted her sister in her acts of silver civil disobedience.
Beyond the Gates | Screenshot
Silliness aside, I actually enjoyed seeing the usually straight-laced Nicole let loose and smash a mug or two. I also picked up a new word thanks to all the smashing: skankaroni. Contrary to the header image of this column, skankaroni is not a canned pasta dish. It is also not a top ten hit from Bobby Brown. It’s also an ixnay to the idea that it is some sort of rare lizard.
Skankaroniness is probably in the eye of the beholder. If I were beholding the matter, I’d say that Hayley ranks higher on the skankaroni scale than Ted. It has nothing to do with Ted being a guy and giving him a pass for mannish behavior. No, I believe that Hayley set out to steal the very-much-married Bill away from Dani. Ted strayed from his marriage, but it would seem that he’s been a model husband ever since.
Et tu Skankaron-te?
If she isn’t careful, though, I could see Dani earning a place on the artwork of the Skankaroni can. They way she and Bill continue to look at each other is… highly inappropriate. Bill is married to Hayley, and Dani would be no better than Hayley if she tried to start up a renewed romance with Bill.
Think I’m overthinking things or seeing things that aren’t there? Dani talked about Bill while she was naked in bed with Andre. It’s only a matter of time before she calls out Bill’s name while engaged in sexytimes. Plus, now that more people are figuring out that Dani and Andre are seeing each other, I think it will push Dani further away from Andre.
A stroke of bad luck with a side of good story
Beyond the Gates | Screenshot
Bill’s health scare has provided a whole lot of ancillary story. It’s brought at least a temporary détente to the hostilities between Bill and his daughters (and ex-wife). It’s shown us another side of Bill’s personality, though it seems to be an unwritten rule that alpha males have to be cranky babies when they get sick. We’ve also been given some additional insight into Shanice as well as given her something other to do than gossip. Oh, and it’s also ramped up the flirtation between Madison and Chelsea.
Bill’s bickering with Ashley has been greatly entertaining. Apparently the two have known each other for a long time and that has added to their friction. Bill was actually annoyed that Ashley called him “Mister Hamilton.” Hayley walking in on Bill and Ashley in a pseudo-embrace caused by him nearly falling out of bed was good soap camp. It was made funnier by Ashley insisting, “This is not what it looks like.”
It’s also really smart writing to have Bill use his lawyering while being a bad patient. He has objected to treatments, threatened to sue for defamation for being called a softie, and he pushed back on being told to smile because women had told him it was “offensive” to be told to smile.
Shanice sassily telling Bill to “Cognate this” made me giggle.
Gay’s anatomy
The juicy little twist of Madison being Bill’s doctor has been fun. It might not be so fun when Bill learns about Madison and Chelsea’s burgeoning relationship, but for now it’s all rainbows and butterflies. I love, love the way that Kat is all up in Chelsea’s business regarding Dr. Montgomery. It feels very real, very contemporary, and very loving.
The carousel of boring
Congratulations to Coco Gauff on her big win at the French Open, but she’s got nothing on the neck-breaking, back-and-forth rally of how my opinion of Ashley and Derek has changed over the past 16 weeks that Beyond the Gates has been on the air.
First, they absolutely bored me to tears. There was little in the way of on-screen chemistry between the two. I hate to say it, but I think the blame falls mostly on Derek. He’s about as exciting as a fire hydrant. But like a fire hydrant, I am thankful that he exists because first responders deserve all of our thanks and gratitude.
It was Derek’s work as a fireman/first responder that first made me root for Derek and Ashley. When Derek was injured in the fire and suffered memory loss, he was at his most interesting. I feel horrible for saying that, but when he had to ask Ashley who she was every few minutes, my heart absolutely broke for her.
Derek recovered faster than it takes Nicole to spray her way through a can of Febreze. When he did, Derek and Ashley started stinking up the screen again. I think one of my biggest issues is that their love comes across as being very juvenile. I have no idea how old Ashley and Derek are supposed to be, but their relationship has a very high school-feeling to me.
Moose und Squirrel
When Derek and Ashley decided that they should live together, I was once again enthralled. Derek finally had a little bit of seasoning: he had range of emotions. I know I called their relationship juvenile, but I actually liked when they were squabbling over leftovers. That felt very real. Living with someone for the first time can be very challenging.
The live together was short lived and so was my renewed interest in them. Derek walks around like Schleprock from the Flintstones. Or maybe it’s Eeyore. Possibly even the Snuffleupagus. Derek strongarmed his way into living with Ashley, so I don’t think he gets to be mopey that it didn’t work out. Ashley also doesn’t get to boo-hoo because she clearly didn’t even try to make things work with the new living arrangements. My leftovers! My stainless steel refrigerator! Your ugly chair! I don’t like Edgar! (That’s the name I gave to Derek’s moose head.)
That ship is called the Titanic
I had to chuckle when Ashley told Derek that her mom, Jan, was their biggest shipper. I think she won that title by default because I think Jan is their only supporter. It’s possible that I could reconsider my stance on Dashley, but they are going to have to really try to win back my affection. Derek made some serious progress when he just said hell no to LSD.
I knew that the show was setting up a romcom proposal. Ashley temporarily took on Derek’s Eeyore persona as she was convinced that she was about to get dumped. However, she made sure that she was going to look good when getting jettisoned by her boyfriend. I don’t blame her since the Uptown seems to be the pickup spot – or at least it is for Chelsea.
The proposal wasn’t exactly my idea of romantic, but it tracks for these two and I wasn’t mad at that. The Doomsoaping voice in my head says that Ashley will say no, but based on her talk with Andre about how much she loved Derek, I’ll wager that we will have our first Beyond the Gates engagement. The previews at the end of the show seemed to imply that Ashley will have some kind of naughty dream about Andre, which plays into post-engagement cold feet.
Doomsoaping II: The Feeling Resurfaces
I know that I have made many mentions of my Doomsoaping – that’s a term I coined for watching a soap opera and expecting the absolute worst to happen. I honestly don’t think this is a “me” thing. After watching soaps for so long and having seen what some soaps will do, I think it’s perfectly normal to pick up on cues that something not-so-good is about to happen. As I’ve said, no one ever just gets a headache on a soap. It’s almost always a brain tumor.
I got that Doomsoaping feeling this past week about a storyline and… I don’t know how I feel about it. In the midst of all the Articulettes drama, there were several tender scenes between Vernon and Anita where Vernon told Anita how much he loved her. He also made another comment to the effect of he’d always be there for her.
All of these lovey-dovey moments didn’t make me swoon. No, they made me very, very nervous. I’ve been conditioned to know that these sorts of statements mean the bottom is about to fall out. HOWEVER! It’s not just me that senses something isn’t quite right. My secret first-time soap opera viewer turned to me during the Anita/Vernon phone call and asked, “He’s gonna die, isn’t he?”
Die another day
To be clear, I don’t know that something bad is going to happen to Vernon. It’s just… a weird feeling. Beyond the Gates wouldn’t kill off a major character so early into the series’ run, right? Beyond the Gates wouldn’t be the first drama series to do something like that. Hell, Ryan Phillippe was killed off in the very first episode of the series Big Sky – and he was promoted as the star of the show.
Vernon is the only main character who has yet to have his own significant storyline. Is that intentional or will his story be more of a slow burn? There have been hints that Vernon is somehow tied to Martin’s secret, but I’ll talk more about that a little later in this column. In the meantime, keep your ears tuned to the dialogue and let me know if you think my Doomsoaping has merit or if I am wigging out like Leslie.
Not just phoning it in
Now for a really weird and random observation because I think it shows that Beyond the Gates is trying to do things differently. In the phone call between Anita and Vernon, I liked that multiple camera angles were used. Typically, you’d have a side-by-side with a single take. Here, each half of the screen cut to different camera angles on each performer. It’s an incredibly small detail, but I still think it’s significant.
How do we move past the past?
Well, the Articulettes drama sure came to a speedy resolution. The trio has been at odds for… 30 years (?) and they managed to patch things up in just about 30 total minutes of airtime. I don’t necessarily see that as a bad thing. I think when you are as close as the women once were and when you factor in where they are in their lives, they probably realized fairly quickly that life is short and they still very much loved each other. At some point, holding a grudge becomes a little silly. So says someone who had been holding at least three grudges for more than a decade. I, however, am allowed to be a hypocrite. It’s called artistic license. Or something.
I really liked Tracy stepping up to be the voice of reason for the three women. When she ordered Anita and Sharon to sit down next to her on the sofa, I knew things were about to get real. Tracy pulled out a photo of “four little colored girls growing up in the projects” and all the emotions started to pour out. It wasn’t all sunshine and lollipops because there were a few jabs mixed in for good (and honest) measure.
Are we done here?
Moving back to the Articulettes ,and in my best Janet Jackson “Miss You Much” music video voice, “Is that the end?” Is the Articulettes storyline over and done? Will those old tensions resurface and put the kibosh on the concert? Will we see the women practicing or will that all be done off-screen? If there is a concert, will we actually get to see it? Will the concert be filmed in an actual venue to make up for the ho-hum fashion show that had only a handful of actual people in attendance?
FYC: ATL x DMV
Beyond the Gates is filmed in Atlanta. I’m also pretty certain that they could find a venue somewhere that would happily let the show tape there in exchange for a little bit of promotion on CBS’s social media channels.
I am sure it would be very easy to find an up-and-comer in the music industry in Atlanta to write some throwback tunes for the women to perform. We’ve already hard snippets of a New Jack Swing styled song. I will continue to demand that the show release at least one Articulettes song on a streaming service. One Life to Live released music when they had musical episodes and that was over a decade ago.
Katlock and the curious case of the motorcycle helmet
Is it just me or are LSD’s reactions all over the place lately? LSD, if you are a newer reader, is what I’ve decided to call Leslie/Sherry/Dana. Yes, she also went by Anna, but that ruins the acronym so I willfully ignore it.
When Jacob found the motorcycle helmet and gloves, LSD played it cool. That’s perfectly normal, or as normal as Leslie gets. After the police left, however, Leslie smiled menacingly and made it sound like she had a plan to make sure she remained a free woman. Later, though, she was a weepy mess as she accused Eva of having planted the motorcycle helmet to get her locked up. Elsewhere, when Mona summoned Leslie to Orphey Gene’s, LSD seemed genuinely hurt when Mona told her that she’d never be able to forgive her for what she did to Nicole and Ted.
Lump all of those emotions with the Leslie that enjoys the cat-and-mouse play with Kat and the borderline-obsessed Dana that throws herself at Ted and… I have no idea what’s going on in her mind.
Maybe she’s born with it…
Is LSD truly suffering from some sort of personality disorder? Does she know exactly what she’s doing and engaging in some sort of calculated, though cray cray, plan of attack? Is Leslie perfectly sane, but being driven a little “delulu” from having to make everything up on the fly? Could it be a combination of all of the above?!
I have no idea and I think that’s actually part of the fun of LSD. It will be a bit of a balancing act, though, because I don’t think Leslie’s antics can go on forever. Even the best villains in daytime have had a shelf life. Does she get written off? Will Leslie be reformed somehow? Does she have a brain tumor?! I’d be interested in hearing your take on what you think lies ahead for LSD.
Do you listen to the whole podcast?
I am really starting to wonder if Kat listens to her true crime podcasts in their entirety. She seems to know all of the ways that criminals get caught, but somehow knows nothing about the right and wrong way to go about obtaining that evidence.
Detective Marcel Malone made another appearance this past week. He’s been gone for so long that I actually thought the show had decided to drop the corrupt cop storyline. Since his tactics are already under a microscope, it would have been interesting to have had Malone snag LSD’s beverage glass from the Uptown to use for a DNA sample. We learned later from Kat that items left out in public are, um, public domain and up for grabs.
It also would have been a nice nod since Malone was giving Jacob a hard time about how he always plays by the rules. It might have also cleared the way for LSD to get an unexpected “get out of jail free” card. If Malone ends up getting busted at some point, it could pave the way for all of the cases he’s been involved with to be retried, dismissed, or otherwise overturned. The DNA evidence would be considered “the poisoned apple,” according to Kat, and Leslie would walk.
I suspect, though, that might involve Malone in one too many storylines. It appears he is somehow involved in whatever went on with Martin.
The color of your money
It looks like we are just days away from Martin’s secret being revealed. Obviously it is something really, really bad because Vernon flipped his wig when Martin said that he’d spoken to Nicole about his nightmares. Interestingly, Martin then shared that he knows everything about his nightmares; they are not blurry, bits and pieces of memories. We also were tipped off that Detective Malone figures into things.
Using soap algebra, I wonder if that means that Jacob’s dad also knows what happened. That might explain why he’s allowed the corrupt Malone to stick around the department.
Hiding in plain sight
Beyond the Gates | Screenshot
I don’t know who Creepy McLurker is, but he’s been lurking in the background ever since Jan and Leslie had their blowout at the diner. Since then, he’s been working at the clubhouse as a server named “Kenneth.” The actor playing the role has had an even easier gig than the actress who plays Laura. At least Laura got to speak every time she was on screen.
When Kenneth finally did get a line, he somehow got even creepier. His slow sidle up to Martin made it look like he was going to lick his ear or kiss him on the cheek. But no. Instead he whispered the line Martin has been haunted by: “Let’s see what color’s your money.”
My baby’s got a secret
The use of the word “color” makes me think that there is an element of racism involved in whatever went down. During one of Martin’s earliest nightmares, I swore I heard the sound of a gun firing. Was Martin attacked by Kenneth, a relative of Kenneth, or a group of Kenneths?
My early thought was that Martin was the one who shot someone and while I still think that is likely, the involvement of Malone allows some wiggle room to have had someone else pull the trigger. That’s assuming, of course, that someone was even shot.
I’d love to hear your thoughts about what happened the night in question. Send them to me on social media or scroll down the page to the Comments section and drop them there.
Beyond the Gates Speed Round
Here are some rapid fire thoughts about some of the other action from the week gone by.
Two’s company
Kat and Chelsea living and working together is going to be interesting. The way they grilled Andre when he burst into the new ChelseaKat headquarters was hilarious. “Are you sure there’s nothing you want us to pass along?” Kat asked on more than one occasion. Andre’s quick I’m Not a Dupree family tree breakdown was also really funny. The stage has been set for a Lucy and Ethel situation, but something tells me that the drama isn’t far behind.
I think I’m falling for you
Dani literally falling into Tomás’ arms was the soapiest romcom thing to happen in quite some time. When she did, I immediately said, “Oh, here she go.” On a typical soap, the trip and catch would set the stage for a not-too-future romance between Tomás and Dani. But being a different kind of soap, I don’t think that’s going to happen — especially after Dani later bumped into Tomás at the the hospital and pretty much threatened to Bobbitt him if he mistreated Kat.
The not-so-good doctor
It looks like Ted’s partner, Dr. Carlton Fitzgerald, is here to stay. His comments about Nicole make me think that he is going to make a play for her. I mean, he so much as said that he would. That would actually be good news, well, at least for me because I called that all the way back at the infamous anniversary party.
He might not be all bad news because he did make a baked goods metaphor when explaining that women don’t really need a man in their life: The goal is to be the frosting on the cake of their lives
More lines of the week
I’m not a common anything. — Kat
Closing the gates
That’s all I have for this week’s My View From Beyond the Gates column. I have to sit by the mailbox and wait for the residual checks from my image being used on cans of Skankaroni to start (k)rolling in.
I’ll be tuning in and I’ll continue to share my thoughts on Beyond the Gates as long as you’re interested in reading them. Thank you for reading and, as always, please feel free to share your thoughts on my column or Beyond the Gates in the Comments section below.
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Life outside the gates
My former Two Scoops columnists Liz Masters and Tamilu have joined me here on my personal web site — and they are still writing about General Hospital. Tamilu is back this week with a new column called, Baby daddy drama
To read more thoughts, opinions, rants, and raves about daytime television, be sure to check out our Editorial section.
dan
![Skip to main contentSkip to toolbar About WordPress Dan J Kroll 11 update available 11 Comment in moderation New View Post Site Kit LLAR Duplicate Post Howdy, Dan J Kroll Edit Post My View From Beyond the Gates: Rest assured we’re going somewhere · Post Ctrl+K Save My View From Beyond the Gates: Rest assured we’re going somewhere I'm not sure when it happened, but sometime this century fans decided that the writers of television programs and movies have to give them everything they want, when they want it. If they don't, the show/movie the writers either hate the fans or don't know what they are doing. As such, the show/movie is trash. Well, Beyond the Gates honcho Michele Val Jean and I are here to tell you that is not the case. It has always been perversely fascinating to be on the frontline of watching how a wildly passionate fanbase behaves. I, myself, am not someone who has a fanaticism gene. I’ve never given money, for example, to have a banner-toting airplane fly over a television studio to protest an actor’s firing. I have never wanted to burn things or flip cars when my favorite sports team has won (or lost) a big game. I’ve never wanted to camp outside a movie theater for a week to be first in line to get tickets for the big blockbuster movie that’s coming out. For more than 30 years, though, I’ve gotten to see how soap opera fans interact with their favorite shows, the stars of those shows, and the creatives that bring the shows to life. When I started Soap Central back in the 1990s, the Internet was in its infancy and decorum was at its peak. It wasn’t until the Internet became more mainstream more than a decade later that things really start going off the rails. There are plenty of specific events that I could point to, many of which will be in my memoir that I’ll probably never write. There is a more recent one – one that popped up in just the past week – that made me take this weird saunter down the garden path. Beyond the Gates creator, head writer, executive producer, cat wrangler, big cheese, and many-other-hat-wearer Michele Van Jean took to social media to address some uncited comments from viewers that seemed to question how the show comes together. “I love how some of y’all think we don’t plan this shit out. Like we’re flying blind,” Val Jean wrote. “You might not like where we’re going? But rest assured we’re going somewhere.” Not flying blind This column is going somewhere, too, but I’ll ask for a little indulgence as I build to talking about everything that happened over the past week. To be fair, I’ve seen my fair share of soap opera storylines over the years that most definitely seemed like they were not planned out. It was as if they went to an Improv show where members of the audience just yell out random words and phrases and – bam! – story was born. I’ve yet to feel like this has been the case with Beyond the Gates. I think the main reason I feel that way is because the show is brand new. If the reported timeline is to be believed, there was a two-year lead up from the time the show as conceived until it hit the airwaves. That means the creative team, Val Jean included, had ample time to craft the characters, figure out where they wanted them to end up, and how to get them there. That doesn’t necessarily mean that the path would be – or even needed to be – a direct A to Z route. Soaps that have been on the air for decades have a bit more of a challenge. There is no down time for the writers to be able to take that breather, step away from the material, and spit out new ideas and content. Writing five episodes of a show each week is a lot of work. I don’t expect every episode to be perfection. Maybe that’s just me. Professional baseball players are paid squillions of dollars to maybe, hopefully hit a ball one out of every three times they are up to bat. An avenging angel Over the past four months, I’ve had varying thoughts on the Martin’s mystery storyline. When we first learned that Martin was having nightmares because something bad happened, I was incredibly intrigued. My mind started conjuring up as many soap opera tragedies that it could. The more ideas I came up with, the more intrigued I was. Then, there was a switch. Back in early April, I wrote, “We’ve almost gotten to the point where the cloak and dagger teasing runs the risk of overhyping the secret. I think it’s safe to say that a good portion of the audience is yelling, ‘Tell us what the secret is already!’” Never in my grumbly grumbling did I think that the writers had no idea what they were doing with the story. To sidestep a bit, more recently I had noticed that Detective Malone seemed to vanish and the entire corrupt storyline seemed to evaporate with him. I had wondered if the show decided to pivot from that story for various reasons. The following week Malone popped up in story and now we’ve learned that Malone’s apparent corruption might have a whole different spin to it. Everything seems to be colliding together and I am wondering if we’ve been led astray. Will they or won't they? I wondered if Beyond the Gates would feature any storylines dealing with racism and intolerance. It seemed, at least to me, that it would have to be addressed at some point, but I also wondered if recent attacks on diversity, American history, and even a federal holiday might have CBS stepping in to offer “creative suggestions” the way they have with their news division. Creepy McBusboy made it clear that we were going there when he said that he couldn’t be sure if he’d seen Vernon or Martin before because “so many of your people [look] alike.” He made a later remark that, “Black royalty don’t live like the rest of us.” There is also the "what color's your money" line, which I have always assumed had racist undertones. We still don’t know exactly what went down and what Martin’s secret is, but I’m no longer upset about. The storyline has moved at breakneck speed this past week and I’m content to wait a little longer to get all the details. The secret is still a secret... and I'm okay with that But between us, I’ve come up with my latest theory. We’ve learned that Creepy McBusboy is the brother of the person involved in Martin’s secret. There have been several mentions to a tire iron. I’m thinking that Creepy’s brother probably got into some sort of racist road rage incident that ended with a “FAFO” moment. Perhaps Martin got run off the road and got a flat tire. The brother circled back while Martin was trying to fix his flat… a scuffle ensued… and Martin clobbered the brother with the tire iron. I’ll assume that Martin called his grandfather, who then reached out to Police Chief Elon Hawthorne. Jumping to the next conclusion, I’ll assume that Elon roped in Marcel Malone. As a thank you for… whatever happened next… Malone was gifted a cool $500,000. I haven’t figured out yet how, and if, Joey Armstrong is involved. Maybe Joey ponied up the cash so that there wasn’t a large chunk of money suddenly missing from the Dupree family bank account? Possible spoiler alert: The previews for next week reveal that Ted knows about Martin’s secret, something that Martin apparently did not know. That means that nearly every male adult character on the canvas is somehow tied into this storyline. Poor Doug will have to sit this one out. And while Jacob and Smitty weren’t directly involved in the past, they are both currently involved through Smitty’s investigation. This is kind of an unprecedented daytime moment. Alive and kicking ass A week or so ago I was worried that Vernon might be on his way out because of his constant “I’ll always be here” throwaway lines. Now, based on his fiery rhetoric, I am more concerned that he might off somebody. FUNNY ASIDE: I like that in the midst of all the drama, Beyond the Gates finds ways to inject humor. Let’s face it, that’s often how life is. I got a chuckle when Anita called Vernon and told him that she wanted to know everything that was happening while she’d been away. “No, you don’t!” My secret first-time soap watcher and I yelled at the same time. The daddy gauntlet I love love. There never seems to be enough love in the world, so when love does show its pretty little head… I’m happy. Well, usually. I cannot for the life of me figure out how Chelsea and Madison have decided that they are madly in love after knowing each other for 3.5 minutes. I mean, they are the epitome of an old stereotype about women who love women. I’m not discounting their passion for each other – I totally get that. Chadison/Madsea (or whatever their smooshed name is) are hot. But these two are practically talking about getting married and they don’t even know what each other’s favorite Febreze scent is. Not that I want to Doomsoap their love, but I feel like there is more to Madison than meets the eye. She is just a little too perfect. I haven’t figured out what her shifty, sneaky side might be, though. The best I have come up with so far is that she’ll somehow be related to the owner of a rival handbag company… and that’s not exactly compelling drama. Don’t Sissy me As an only child I rely on television and second-hand stories to help me know what it is like to have a sibling. Dani and Nicole’s relationship seems like #siblinggoals – even when they are disagreeing. I understand why Nicole is upset about Dani and Andre sleeping together, even if I don’t think that all of her reasons are sound. I think in Nicole’s heightened emotional state, she sees Dani’s lying about the relationship in a totally different way than she would have had Ted’s affair never come to light. Now Nicole feels like everyone is lying to her and every lie is going to be magnified tenfold. One the other hand, I also understand that with her world upside-down, Nicole feels that she doesn’t have that many people that she can trust. Pushing the lie aside, if Dani and Andre were to have an unamicable breakup, Nicole might justifiably be worried that the relationship that special bond she shares with her nephew could also break. Joy and pain Nicole’s anger did result in a few good zingers. Nicole quipped that Andre is young enough to be Dani’s son. Ouch. With the way that Beyond the Gates plays fast and loose with ages, I have no idea exactly how old Andre is… but I can’t see him being 20ish years younger than Dani. Sean Freeman, the actor who plays Andre, might be the only person on the entire Internet who doesn’t have an age – accurate or fabricated – attached to his Wikipedia page. In fact, he doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page. Another funny moment came when Dani asked if Nicole was jealous of Dani’s sexual relationship with Andre. “Yes, that’s it, Dani. I’m jealous,” Nicole fired back. “I wish I was sleeping with my nephew.” If this is was having a sibling is like, it sounds amazing. However, unless there is some sort of soapy twist in my future, I will still be quiet happy to go through life as an only child. FUNNY ASIDE: I laughed and laughed when Nicole sashayed into the Meet Madison meeting, spotted Madison, and asked, “Is everyone okay? Why is there a neurologist here?” As a teenager, I went to visit a neighbor and was gobsmacked when I saw the priest that I had recently given Confession to sitting on their front porch. I did a quick 180 and tried to scurry away. Your wife is putting the screws to me Vanessa McBride surprised me this week. I never assumed that she wasn’t an intelligent woman. I’ve also never faulted her for having a strong sexual appetite. What I didn’t expect was that she would be as ballsy as she apparently is. The way she conducted business with Joey Armstrong was something of a master class. For weeks and weeks we’ve been led to believe that Joey was the person who, if you’ll pardon the pun, held all the cards. Hapless Doug has done little to prove otherwise. But when Joey sat Vanessa down in the backroom of his casino and shared his vision for how their “business” relationship would go, Vanessa was not having it. None if it. Not even a small piece of it. “There’s nothing in it for me,” Vanessa pushed back. She then turned the tables to demand that Joey drop the “bogus” debt he was holding over Doug and she also demanded a pretty hefty commission from every transaction for both her and Doug. When Joey asked why Doug deserved a cut, Vanessa deadpanned, “I’m unfaithful, Joey, not disloyal.” By the way, that commission she negotiated? Joey offered three-percent. Vanessa insisted it would be six-percent – for Doug – and twelve-percent for her. That was later adjusted to a rounder, prettier to look at 20-percent. That table's not exactly memory foam Things are getting interesting between Doug and Vanessa. Suddenly, Doug has a sassy mouth. Vanessa assured her hubby that she wouldn’t end up in any legal trouble and promised to cover her “sweet derriere.” Doug replied, “I thought you worked better with it uncovered.” Earlier, when Vanessa explained that she and Joey would have their business meetings in empty houses, he grumbled, “Remember to leave the bedroom like you found it.” Doug is very hard to root for. He's wishy washy and a little bland. I don't know if his sudden growth of backbone will be enough to draw me in. Meanwhile, Joey's double entendres are the absolute best. They are made even more entendre-y by the delicious delivery from Jon Lindstrom. The fact that Joey could say to Doug, "Your wife is putting the screws to me" -- with a straight face, no less -- should earn him some sort of award. This diamond ring doesn't shine for me any more I didn’t have this on my bingo card, but I’m actually siding with Derek in his whatever it is with Ashley. Ashley has become unhinged. Her reactions to everything are completely over the top and it’s not a good look. Ashley tore into Naomi – her best friend – and accused her of buying the engagement ring that Derek proposed with. Seriously?! In what universe does that even make sense? Ashley’s reaction to the proposal also still bugs me. I’m fine that she didn’t accept. Accepting a marriage proposal out of some sense of obligation is never a good thing. Is Ashley trying to deny that she has feelings for Andre? Okay, you had a sex dream about Andre. Who hasn't? There is a big difference between finding someone attractive and wanting that person as a life partner. I don't find Derek particularly interesting, but that doesn't mean that he is not absolutely perfect for Ashley. Is she willing to McBride away (that's Beyond the Gates speak for gamble) relationship because she wants a little (or a lot, according to Dani) of Andre? Redrawing the paperwork As I said earlier in the column, I know that Nicole is hurting. I know that Nicole feelings betrayed. She feels betrayed because she was betrayed. And I am not going to tell Nicole how she should feel... so I will circumvent the hypocrisy that by telling her how she should not feel. It hasn't been all that long since the anniversary party that shall live in infamy. It feels to me that Nicole is rushing into making major life changes, something she would probably advise her clients not to do. Thankfully, she hasn't moved on to divorce papers yet, but it certainly feels like that isn't that far off. Nicole should not feel like her entire marriage was a lie. Part of it was, but I think that when Ted moved on from his relationship with LSD (Leslie/Sherry/Dana), he truly moved on from that relationship. It seems like Ted has been tenaciously devoted to his family ever since... and his involvement in the Martin secret will probably prove that. I just hope that if and when Nicole learns about Ted's involvement, she doesn't hold that against him and run straight back to her attorney's office for divorce papers. Beyond the Gates Speed Round Here are some rapid fire thoughts about some of the other action from the week gone by. Smitty finitty? There has been a lot of online chatter that Mike Manning, who plays Smitty, is on the way out. I suspect it started because Smitty has been getting nosy and someone used that to speculate that Smitty might be killed off. Manning took to social media to shoot down the rumor that he's exiting Beyond the Gates and to ask that supposedly sites claiming to be legit stop with the making stuff up. All I've got is a photograph I'm still in my June Gloom phase with June, but the actress playing June is absolutely killing it. She's equal parts neurotic, funny, and heartbreaking. It could all be a red herring, but I am more convinced than ever that she is Samantha and Tyrell's biological mother. Why? That photo that she cases so much about is a photograph of two children. The photo was shown briefly, but it appeared that the faces of the children in the image were rubbed off. That would explain why neither Naomi nor Jacob had any reaction when they saw the photo. Vegetables and vagina Just days after trying to kill post-stroke Bill with her good-good, Hayley is now serving Bill a breakfast that even my rabbit wouldn't want to eat. I am mildly amused that Bill's daughters are slowly warming back up to him... while still giving Hayley a hard time. Dani, to a lesser degree, also falls under that category. When Andre rhetorically asked if Dani wanted him to sleep with Hayley, Dani replied with an emphatic no before asking, "What would you want with that trashy, pregnant ho anyway?" Lines of the week The Beyond the Gates writing team is once again having a little too much fun. Here are some of the lines of dialogue that tickled my funny bone over the past week. "It makes me dance when you speak of Bill with loathing" -- Dani "Cards are life. We gamble as we live." -- Joey "And who are you? The Gambling Buddha?" -- Marcel Jacob seems to be getting a lot of funny lines of late. As Smitty tried to link Marcel and Joey together in criminal enterprise via their shared yacht club membership, Jacob noted, "[It's] a long way from sailing together to doing crime together." Tasked with having to act like he doesn't know something might be awry, "I'm not sure Denzel could do all that [acting] and make it believable." Closing the gates That's all I have for this week's My View From Beyond the Gates column. I have to go find a way to get involved in Martin's secret. I don't want to be sitting on the bench with Doug. Of course, I could probably take him for whatever petty cash he carries around in his wallet... so maybe that's not a bad Plan B. I'll be tuning in and I'll continue to share my thoughts on Beyond the Gates as long as you're interested in reading them. Thank you for reading and, as always, please feel free to share your thoughts on my column or Beyond the Gates in the Comments section below. Follow my Random Acts of Dan If you've enjoyed my column this week and want to see what I have written about Beyond the Gates in previous weeks, you can check those out in the My View From Beyond the Gates archive. Have a penchant for gardening, interior design, or fixing up old houses? Check out my Manor Makeover series where I write about all of the things I've been up to here at Kroll Manor in Allentown, PA, over the past decade. To keep up with all of the shenanigans I engage in on social media, please consider giving my a follow on Bluesky, Instagram, Threads, Facebook, and TwitterX. Life outside the gates Block contains unexpected or invalid content. 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I liked that Bill’s stroke gave us a bonafide medical story. So far everything has been rushed but this is the first medical story they’ve gone into depth with. It added Madison to the canvas and we actually get to see Ashley working with a patient. I know the show is trying to be different but a hospital is a soap staple. Give us a better medical setup. Are both Ted and Carlton plastic surgeons? I never understood why Ted was involved with Laura’s case.
As for Derek and Ashley, I don’t get why they are featured so heavily. It seems to be common among fans that they’re not popular together. I do think Derek should be recast. Ashley is good with other characters. And it’s annoying that poor Naomi and Jacob are stuck with advising them all the time.
I also had the same thought about Carlton at the engagement party. But I do think Ted and Nicole are endgame. This Martin story might bring them closer again.
Leslie is annoying me now but I also don’t know where they’re going with her. She seems to still be taping. Good villains shouldn’t be normalized. They need to be in and out type characters and get some eventual consequences.
This is a hilarious recap. Keep them coming. I’m also scared for Vernon and Anita. Like…I feel like she doesn’t return from Chicago and she dies there.
Oh goodness. I wasn’t even worried about Anita until you said something. Now I need a prayer bubble around her, too! 😄
I am glad you enjoyed my take and I appreciate you reading it and leaving me a comment! ❤️
I think Kenneth is a hired hand, I don’t think he attacked Martin or was directly involved in that incident. Kenneth has shown his face to Martin several times while serving him and Martin did not seem to notice him. I did, notice that when Martin had lunch with his dad Ted, Kenneth seemed to rush off before Ted could see him, even when Martin kept trying to call him back to take his dad’s order. Clearly Kenneth believes Ted will recognize him, but how, I’m not sure.
I really liked Eva’s new hairstyle his week. Also, maybe it’s just me but I think Ted’s friend and partner might be interested in Eva as well as Nicole. At the wedding anniversary, he seemed like kind of a playboy, so if he is interested in both women, I could see him making a play for both. It’s more likely he’ll try for Nicole though.
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