There are certain things you never say in real life, things that could jinx an otherwise perfect day. Things like, “What could possibly go wrong?” or “Nothing could ruin this day.” The same applies for soaps. Of course, on a soap opera you could also add something like, “There’s no possible way that my ex-wife who was tragically killed in an elephant accident could ever come back from the dead and ruin our wedding day!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Okay, maybe I’m just being overly dramatic. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But look at Anita and Vernon’s meal at the country club. They just wanted a little quiet time together. Then Anastasia showed up with a request to break up Tyrell and Chessie, Smitty was arrested, and Martin’s political career hung in the balance. Nicole just wanted to show up at the hospital for a normal work day, but her world was rocked by news that her ex-husband had gotten engaged. Hayley simply wanted a stiff drink so she could think about all the rich men she didn’t murder, and a parade of people marched up to ruin her daydream.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There’s no such thing as a drama-free day on a soap opera. And if you think you’re having one, oooh, you better watch out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Don\u2019t have time to read the entire Beyond the Gates<\/strong><\/strong> column? You can now stream an audio\/podcast version of this commentary \u2014 complete with off-script silliness, bloopers, interviews, and more. And it\u2019s totally free to download or stream. SPOTIFY<\/a><\/strong> | APPLE MUSIC<\/a><\/strong> | AMAZON MUSIC<\/a><\/strong> | iHEART RADIO<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Poor, Smitty. He\u2019s the least likely person to commit murder and here he is being charged with a murder-adjacent crime. They do say it\u2019s always the quiet ones\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n I was really hoping when Jacob and his fellow officers showed up with a search warrant that they wouldn\u2019t find anything incriminating. But the minute Jacob started thumbing through the books, I knew something bad was about to happen. Sure enough, a random pill bottle was hidden behind some books. Within seconds Jacob knew that the pills were the same ones that killed Lia. I have no idea how<\/em> he was able to jump to that conclusion so quickly\u2026 but he did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Did the bottle have a label on it? If so, it would seemingly also have had a patient\u2019s name on it. If there was no label, has Jacob committed to memory every brand name and generic medication so that he can identify them on sight?<\/p>\n\n\n\n I think we have all jumped to the same conclusion: someone planted the pills in Martin and Smitty\u2019s home. The question is who<\/em>?<\/p>\n\n\n\n All roads lead to Heather, but I can\u2019t imagine a world where she\u2019d do the dirty work herself. We\u2019ve never seen<\/em> Heather in Martin and Smitty\u2019s home, so it\u2019s not like she dropped by for a visit and planted some incriminating evidence while she was there. It would have had to have been one of her goons or possibly one of the many minions that she’s threatening and blackmailing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n After the police search, it was mentioned very much in passing that Martin and Smitty\u2019s housekeeper had been dispatched to clean up the mess. This was the first time we had ever been told that the couple had a housekeeper. It\u2019s not unusual for them to have one, but it is unusual that it was mentioned. Maybe Martin and Smitty hired someone to help out once Smitty went back to work. Whoever this person is, they are at the top of my suspect list.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Other possible suspects would have to be people that are in the Richardson-Smith orbit. Almost everyone that has been in the home has been family, so I can\u2019t imagine any of them deciding that framing Smitty and torpedoing Martin\u2019s political career would be a fun thing to do on a random October day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The only other person we have seen in the home regularly that is not<\/em> a family member is Shonda, Martin\u2019s campaign advisor. I suppose she could be behind the planted pills, though I struggle to come up with any scenario that would make sense of that theory. There\u2019s been no change in the way Shonda has been acting, so there are no overt clues that she\u2019s up to something. We\u2019ve never seen her in weird or awkward conversations with anyone that would set of warning bells. Has she been blackmailed off-screen? Maybe? That would be even less appealing than having the never-before-mentioned-or-seen housekeeper be the dirty deed doer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That leaves only one other possible explanation \u2013 and it\u2019s not one that I think any of us want to consider. What if Smitty really did<\/em> give Lia the drugs that eventually killed her? I suppose he could have been unaware that the purple pouch contained drugs. Maybe he was told it was some contraband food item, though Smitty seems way too straightlaced to smuggle something into a jail. And if he did,<\/em> Smitty doesn\u2019t seem dumb enough to hide the drugs in his own home. He\u2019s had more than enough time to ditch them or hide them somewhere else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Staying on the outlandish theory that Smitty really did do what he\u2019s been accused of doing, what would the motive be? I\u2019ve only come up with two possible explanations: he\u2019s a psychopath or he\u2019s the one being blackmailed. I said I had explanations, not that the explanations I had made any sense. The blackmail idea doesn\u2019t seem to hold up because the outcome is the same. Smitty doing what the blackmailer said \u2013 deliver drugs to Lia \u2013 ends with Smitty being arrested. Not doing what the blackmailer demanded leads to planted drugs and Smitty being arrested.<\/p>\n\n\n\n While equally unbelievable, I will admit that the idea of Smitty being a psychopath is kind of hot. We think of him as a former stay-at-home-dad to two kids who moonlights as a Clark Kent look-alike. All the while we were unaware that he was really Doctor Jekyll and Mister Hyde.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Yeah, it\u2019s so outlandishly ridiculous that I can\u2019t even spend any more time trying to concoct a story that would make sense of it. If someone really<\/em> wanted to frame Smitty, they could have had Lia choke to death on one of his Tide Pods.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Who planted the pills isn\u2019t the only mystery surrounding Smitty. There\u2019s also the who leaked police video that needs to be discussed. For this, there are only three possible scenarios: Elon Hawthorne, Marcel Malone, or someone we haven\u2019t met yet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Let\u2019s start with the low-hanging fruit: Marcel. I\u2019m sure Leslie would have something spicy to say about her man\u2019s low-hanging fruit. Ugh. I didn\u2019t need that imagery in my head. La-la-la. Bunnies in Halloween costumes. Baby goats bouncing around a pasture. Sorry, I\u2019m just trying to cleanse the palette.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We already know Marcel is crooked, so it\u2019s not that far a leap to think that he could also be on Heather Armstrong\u2019s payroll. If he knows that Heather is the Impaler, then Marcel would also know that working with Heather puts him in direct conflict with Joey. What I can\u2019t decide is if Marcel would risk Joey\u2019s wrath. I suppose it\u2019s possible that Marcel doesn\u2019t know the identity of the Impaler \u2013 just that he does \u201chis\u201d bidding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Now let\u2019s talk about Elon. He\u2019s not nearly as sketchy as Marcel, but he has been known to exist in that gray area. It seems unlikely that the Chief of Police would be the bad guy. He has ties to the Duprees and has always seemed to go to bat for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Until recently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you remember, this week when Vernon asked for Elon\u2019s help with making the charges against Smitty go away, Elon pushed back and said that he needed to start putting his own family first. Hmm. That was an interesting response. It seemed out of character to me. Now that got my sudsy, soapy brain working in overdrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n How did Jacob get the video of Smitty at Uptown? If I remember correctly, Elon gave it to him. And who showed Jacob the paperwork that eventually led to the search of Martin and Smitty\u2019s home? Elon. Who else was present when Smitty was led away to processing? Elon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What would make Elon do all of these things? I don\u2019t know. The only thing I can think of is that Heather\/the Impaler\/one of Heather\u2019s goons threatened to harm Elon\u2019s family. Elon\u2019s past less-than-legal shenanigans were to protect Vernon\u2019s family. That takes me back to the odd statement Elon said about needing to look out for his<\/em> family. If it\u2019s a choice between helping Smitty and Martin or a Hawthorne, Elon is obviously going to choose blood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If Marcel and Elon are just red herrings, that would mean that someone else<\/em> filmed the video and sent it to Heather. We really don\u2019t know any of the other police officers and detectives, so there\u2019s no point in speculating who it might be at this point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n To me, the best choice for drama is having Elon be the one who\u2019s working with Heather. He\u2019s not a major character, but Elon is linked to so many characters on the canvas. The fallout would be epic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There was a moment that got me in my feels. When the Duprees regrouped after Martin\u2019s disastrous press conference, Smitty assumed that they had all gathered to try to figure out how to salvage Martin\u2019s campaign. That\u2019s when he was told that they were all there to help him.<\/em> Yes, it\u2019s 2026 and yes, Maryland is a liberal state, but it\u2019s rare to see that show of support for a gay character on an American soap opera. Moreover, this was supporting the spouse<\/em> of a family member \u2013 not the family member themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That does make me wonder: where the hell are Smitty\u2019s parents? I know the news is still relatively fresh, but I would think that they\u2019d have texted or phoned. Maybe they are in another part of the world at the moment where it\u2019s sleepytime. They\u2019d better reach out by next week or I\u2019m done with them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here is something that could<\/em> be something of a spoiler \u2013 or a big nothing burger. Back on May 23, I made a random post on Twitter promoting this column that asked, \u201cWhere are Smitty’s parents? Shouldn’t they have been at their granddaughter’s debut? Is it possible they have an issue with Martin and Smitty’s relationship? Are they just too busy?\u201d I didn\u2019t tag any performers \u2013 just the show\u2019s #BeyondtheGates hashtag. Brandon Claybon (Martin Richardson) swooped into the thread and posted a GIF of Jimmy Fallon dancing and the caption, \u201csecret, secret, I\u2019ve got a secret.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\nJagged Little Pill<\/strong>s<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
An Inside Job<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n
A Hard Pill To Swallow<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n
Another Day, Another Mystery<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n
Atwitter Over Elon<\/h5>\n\n\n\n
Another Day, Another Mystery: Part Two<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n
Did I Unintentionally Uncover A Clue?<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n