If you didn’t say or at least think to yourself, “Leslie,” then maybe I have lost my ability to read the room. The title of this week’s column comes courtesy of Nicole’s observation that Leslie reeked of “the pungent odor of her narcissism.” While there’s nothing wrong with putting yourself first, doing it all of the time can be more than a little offputting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Monica breezed into town and and took it upon herself to interrogate Ted. Jacob demanded that he be put on a dangerous undercover job mostly because he wanted to prove himself to his dad. Vernon loves his wife dearly and wants to be there for her, but he struggles to understand why Anita doesn’t want him hovering all the time. Hayley is the star of her very own Truman Show<\/em>, but she’s temporarily shined the spotlight on someone else. That, of course, is because that other person could blow up her whole scheme.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So as these Beyond the Gates <\/em>characters change their orbits seemingly on a whim, let’s take a look at whether their actions are altruistic, egotistic, or totally clueless.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I was surprised by the out-of-the-blue familial connection between Dr. Monica McCormick and everyone\u2019s favorite nosy nurse Shanice. There are other yet-to-be-seen relatives that I thought for sure we\u2019d see before we started delving into Shanice\u2019s family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Who? Darlene Hawthorne, mom of Jacob and Izaiah and wife of Elon. Smitty\u2019s unnamed parents. Deanna McBride, Vanessa\u2019s daughter and Donnell\u2019s wonder twin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But let\u2019s get back to Auntie Monica for a moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Burger King doesn\u2019t give its burgers the grilling that Monica gave Ted. While part of the inquisition was funny, a lot of it made me uncomfortable. I understand wanting to protect your loved one\u2019s heart, but she went a little too<\/em> hard. Another thing \u2013 and I say this as the only child of an only child \u2013 it seems a bit weird to have an aunt by the one doing the interrogation. A parent? Yes. A sibling \u2013 especially a brother? Absolutely. Maybe if more had been explained about the relationship between Monica and Shanice it might have made a little more sense to have chief inspector Monica being so aggressive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n This might seem like crazy talk, but I almost expected Monica to shoot her shot and ask Ted out on a date. She was just too<\/em> interested in Ted\u2019s life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Monica\u2019s appearance does make me wonder if we\u2019ll be seeing her again. In addition to being a part of Shanice\u2019s life, Monica offered her services as an oncologist should Anita ever want or need them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I think we now know why the Garland Memorial chief of staff was suddenly introduced. Clearly, Lia Whitmore is \u201cThe Impaler,\u201d the head of the plasma and blood theft ring. When I started writing this column midweek, I didn’t know this with 100% certainty, but after that weird exchange between Lia and Grayson, I was pretty sure. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Let me rewind a bit to explain my thinking. First, Garland Memorial somehow survived an entire first season, er, year without us seeing who was running the place. When the calendar flipped to 2026, we learned that there was an organized gang in the DMV stealing plasma and blood. That gang is led by someone known only as the Impaler. Meanwhile, Lia Whitmore suddenly popped up on-screen as the Chief of Staff of Garland Memorial. Also, around the same time, we learned that all of the women of the hospital were gushing over some lab tech named Grayson.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you\u2019ve watched soaps for any length of time, nothing on a soap happens without reason. As I\u2019ve said in previous columns: Headache? Brain tumor. Nausea? Pregnant. Nose bleed? Ebola.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Lia was very critical of Grayson fraternizing with Ashley. To be fair, she\u2019s made similar remarks regarding Nicole and Carlton, and Ted and Shanice. But those were all just red herrings in my book to make her criticism of Grayson look less suspicious. It was actually Grayson who blew their cover when he said, \u201cI will not let [Ashley] or anything affect the work.\u201d The work. Mm hmm.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n To be fair, in a past column I pointed the finger of blame at Grayson and said he was probably the Impaler. Now it’s clear he is an upper-level minion working under Lia. It makes sense since he has access to blood products. The question is, whose idea was this? Lia is a respected physician. Why suddenly go rogue? Is it possible that Lia isn’t actually the Impaler and she’s somehow been forced into participating? Is she being blackmailed? Now that Lia has agreed to have Garland partner with Leslie and Joey’s free clinic, things could get very, very messy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If Lia is eventually collared for her role in the so-called red market scheme, it would open up the chief of staff position. Is it possible that one of our already-on-the-canvas doctors might see a promotion? I think that\u2019s possible. The question is, who would it be? It seems like a logical conclusion to think that either Nicole or Ted would be first in line, since they are main characters. That seems\u2026 too easy. I can\u2019t see Ted leaving his practice to take on all the other responsibilities. Nicole would make more sense, but I don\u2019t think that she\u2019d want to be chief of staff.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Carlton and Kial could also be in line, though I think the spelling of Kial\u2019s name disqualifies him. Carlton seems like someone who would love the new title, but I don\u2019t know how he\u2019d feel about having to potentially cut back on his time in the operating room. Madison just took on new responsibilities with her Parkinson\u2019s research, so that leaves her out. There\u2019s also newcomer Monica, though I can\u2019t see her leaving her high-profile position at MD Anderson in Houston.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Might it be one of the other doctors we\u2019ve seen just sort of passing through scenes? Maybe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We managed to get through nearly an entire week without seeing Jacob working his undercover mission. I\u2019m glad because every time I see him working undercover, I get very anxious. I can only imagine what Naomi might be going through. Shoot, if I had the number, I might text Jacob\u2019s burner phone to make sure he\u2019s okay.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There was something that happened recently that I forgot to comment on. There was what seemed like a throwaway scene where something was mentioned about how Izaiah was the only member of the Hawthorne family not working in law enforcement. When they showed Izaiah, he was fidgeting nervously and looking a little sketchy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What if Izaiah is<\/em> in law enforcement. Could he be working with the FBI? We\u2019ve been told that Izaiah works at Banneker, but we haven\u2019t seen so much as his office or anything related to the campus. Could that also be why he just \u201chappened\u201d to stumble upon brother Jacob working undercover?<\/p>\n\n\n\n I will admit that I did have a moment of doomsoaping as these ideas flooded my brain. Wouldn\u2019t it be incredibly devastating if both <\/em><\/strong>Jacob and Izaiah were injured in the line of duty? Since Lami (who portrays Izaiah) is only on recurring status with Beyond the Gates<\/em> there might be a higher likelihood that something really bad happens to him. I\u2019m thinking of how Elon would totally break if he learned that the son he badmouthed for years was actually one of the good guys.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The more Hayley drags on and on with her crocodile tears the more I am inclined to believe that Bill gets what he deserves. How has he not figured out that he is being played?<\/p>\n\n\n\n He has done everything<\/em> Hayley has asked him, and I am pretty sure that it\u2019s way more than Dani ever asked him to do for her. He\u2019s taken Lynette\u2019s case pro bono<\/em>, put her up in a hotel, and called in a favor to get the charges against her dropped. He thinks it\u2019s brilliant that Lynette doesn\u2019t seem to have existed before a few years ago. He hasn\u2019t been the least bit suspicious of the weird tea that Hayley has been forcing him to drink.<\/p>\n\n\n\n At this point, I feel like Bill is doing everything in his power to convince himself that his marriage is legit. We\u2019ve seen how, in recent weeks, he\u2019s admitted that leaving Dani was a mistake. I don\u2019t think Bill got the reaction he expected when he confessed his mistake to Vernon. It also didn\u2019t move the needle when Dani found out about it. Any fantasy that Bill had of Dani dropping everything and wanting to get back together with him never materialized. So\u2026 I guess he is making the best of what he\u2019s got.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here\u2019s the thing: someone is going to put the pieces together about Hayley being a scammer. I just don\u2019t know who it is. I was hoping it would be Tomas, but he\u2019s too busy going through his contact list to find someone who can help him supersize his junior partner status. Then I thought that Madison and Chelsea would observe something that would clue them in. That didn\u2019t happen. I guess the frontrunner at this point is Joey. I feel like he is this<\/em>close to putting the pieces together. He knows Randy is lying. He knows that Wesley \u201cSledge\u201d Hammer didn\u2019t rob Hayley. I am not sure if he still thinks that Randy and Hayley are having an affair or if he realizes that\u2019s all a lie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The men\u2019s basketball game was one of the funniest things I\u2019ve seen on a soap opera in a long time. Everything about the game \u2013 and bear in mind that we didn\u2019t even see<\/em> the game \u2013 was pure perfection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It started off simple with Ted and Carlton making a bet on the game. When Kial popped into their scene, I said aloud, \u201cI hope they invite him to play, too.\u201d And they did! All of Nicole\u2019s men in one messy basketball game? Gold. Absolute gold.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It was comical that Kial\u2019s invitation was extended really as a pity invite. I laughed when Kial let it be known that he played basketball in school and was even part of a team that played for the state championship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Fast-forward to the post-game trash talking in the brand-new locker room set. Ted was hobbling, Carlton needed ice packs, and Kial was recovering from some form of flagrant foul\/push from an overly competitive Carlton. Then Carlton not only addressed the elephant in the room, but he embraced it. \u201cI guess we found out that white men really can\u2019t jump,\u201d he zinged.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There was also another moment that had me cackling like a loon. That laugh that Vernon hurtled into the world when Carlton asked for his permission to date Nicole? I want that laugh as my new ringtone. That must have been the dam bursting since Vernon has had very little to laugh about in recent months. Still, that was an unexpected moment of levity that really made my week.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Now that I think about it, I also laughed at Madison and Chelsea watching Hayley and Randy at Uptown. They were sort of like the two old guys in the balcony on the Muppet Show<\/em> mixed with a little Pearl from 227<\/em> and a touch of In Living Color<\/em>\u2019s Benita Butrell. My initial thought was that they would see something scandalous as the big cliffhanger. As their commentary winded on, it just became funnier and funnier.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Let\u2019s just keep the amusement going. I also loved<\/em> Vanessa and LSD (That\u2019s Leslie\/Sherry\/Dana for new readers) sparring throughout the week. It\u2019s about time that people are finally standing up to her. I doubt it will get Leslie to back the hell down, but at least the playing field is becoming a little more level. Vanessa is the perfect foil because it\u2019s clear that LSD doesn\u2019t take her seriously or think of her as a threat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Derek having Leslie as \u201cDon’t Answer\u201d in his phone also elicited a nice hearty laugh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Here are some of the thoughts and observations about other things happening on Beyond the Gates<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I have seen the social media criticism that “nothing happens” on Beyond the Gates<\/em>. Another popular gripe is that the Dupree family isn’t the primary focus of each episode. I’ll agree that just a couple of weeks ago I said<\/a><\/strong> that February “has been a bit of a slow burn.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n But what I have noticed is that Beyond the Gates<\/em> does better than every other soap in depicting real life and real-life things. On other soaps, as I said earlier in the column, everything happens for a reason. For example, the basketball game. There was no real storyline point to it, but it was one of the most memorable things of the week. We all do “stuff” in our days that makes us who we are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What I really appreciate is that Beyond the Gates<\/em> shows actual friendships. Tracy was flown into town for a singular episode to help Anita work through her post-chemo anxiety. June took time out to lend an ear to Naomi. Granted, June was also ignoring all of the other customers at Orphey Gene’s, but it was nice to see the script flipped to have June be the one to help someone who had previously helped her. I also liked the incredibly rare Naomi\/Kat scene. Vanessa and Nicole are having more frequent girl’s time. None of these things feel like filler to me. These are not some heavy-handed scenes to set up obvious plot points. These scenes feel organic and I hope the show doesn’t ever take them away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you read last week’s column, you already know that Leslie is on my list. She did herself no favors this week as she repeatedly pushed for Eva and Izaiah to get married. They’ve been dating for… less than a year? I know people who have gotten married after only knowing each other for a short time. Some of the people had long-lasting marriages. The others? Well, they were still trying to figure out how to pay off their wedding while the ink on their divorce papers was still drying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Admittedly, I am not someone who likes weddings. But I do understand that, at least stereotypically, some parents can’t wait to see their little girl walk down the aisle. Leslie might be one of those parents. I think it’s more likely that she wants to throw a lavish wedding to show off. LSD makes everything about her. Eva has made it clear that she and Izaiah are not at the point where they are even thinking about talking about marriage and Leslie refuses to accept. She is going to fool around and end up torpedoing Eva’s relationship and that is not cool.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Now that we know Hayley puts the “con” in conniving, I tend to look at her emotional outbursts through a different lens. She is absolutely comical with her hysterics. Her most recent meltdown in Bill’s office was her most convincing to date. But I still end up laughing because I cannot believe that no one has seen through her antics.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Granted, soap opera characters all tend to have dramatic lives, but everything that has happened to Hayley is the “worst” ever. Her mugging? Not only, according to Hayley, could she have been killed, but it was the worst thing that has ever happened to her. Losing her (imaginary) baby? That was also the worst that has ever happened to her. The other worst thing that ever happened to her? Nearly being gunned down on her wedding day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I understand that bad things happen, but someone should have figured out by now that either Hayley is the unluckiest person ever born or she’s a lying liar who lies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you\u2019re someone who likes to keep score, the number is now five. Five what?<\/em> With the March 3 addition of the men’s locker room at the Fairmont Crest Country Club, we now have five brand-new Beyond the Gates<\/em> sets in season two.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Other new sets for the new year include: Naomi and Jacob\u2019s living room (January 19), Nicole\u2019s bedroom (January 26), and Bill and Hayley\u2019s bedroom (January 27), and Joey Armstrong’s house (February 5).<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you are wondering what inspired the graphic for this week\u2019s column, you\u2019re in luck. I happen to know the person who made it. And\u2026 yes, it was me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The basketball is, of course, a nod to the AARP gang’s hoops matchup. The red devil references what Vernon told Anita to visualize squashing as she battles cancer. The wooden stake is what Jacob needs to impale the Impaler. And the G-rated letter “G” will hopefully keep Vanessa and Joey’s minds out of the gutter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When Bill and Hayley talked about having a baby, Bill said the baby would have the best of both of them. I replied aloud, “Yeah, part con, part dummy.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n Also on the baby front, I was tickled that while Bill was hoping for a baby boy, Hayley suggested that he needed to be happy with “whatever flavor of baby” they got. For the love of God I hope it’s not pumpkin spice flavored.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It looks like we finally<\/em> get to meet Deanna McBride next week.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The Beyond the Gates<\/em> writing team seems to be having a little too much fun. Here are some of the lines of dialogue that tickled my funny bone or that I found memorable over the past week (and haven’t already mentioned in this column).<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThis \u2018first year of happiness\u2019 has given him a stroke. I can\u2019t wait to see what year two is gonna bring.\u201d<\/strong> \u2013 Dani’s response to Hayley claiming that Bill has finally found what happiness means by being married to her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI never repeat myself. Not in fashion, not in felonies.\u201d<\/strong> \u2013 Dani<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWith ceilings high enough to host Cirque du Soleil.\u201d <\/strong>\u2013 Vanessa using her real estate agent skills to talk up the condo that she she showed Kat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThe day I hand you the microphone is the day hell freezes over.\u201d <\/strong>\u2013 Vanessa to her new work not-BFF Leslie Thomas<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWoman thou art recently loosed.\u201d<\/strong> \u2013 Vanessa, describing Nicole’s dating life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThe only thing you got from [Bill] was your last name and a couple of inches of height. All the rest is all Duprees.\u201d<\/strong> \u2013 Vernon’s words of comfort when Chelsea worried that she was taking after her father.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI guess we found out that white men really can\u2019t jump.\u201d <\/strong>\u2013 Carlton zinging Kial after their basketball game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n “This prize is G-rated.” “You are going to blow me… some bubbles.”<\/strong> — Joey’s guess about what Vanessa might be doing for him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I love interacting with other Beyond the Gates fans. So I thought I\u2019d create a section to share some of the comments I\u2019ve received on my columns and social media posts. If you\u2019d like to see your comments shared here, you can scroll down to the Comments section below this column and post away. You can also chat with me on Bluesky<\/strong><\/a>, Instagram<\/strong><\/a>, Threads<\/strong><\/a>, Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, and\/or TwitterX<\/strong><\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n In the Comments section of last week’s column, Kam wasn’t surprised that Joey helped Wesley, but did admit that there was an unexpected twist. “I was surprised that he gave the man money and told him to take off. I definitely don\u2019t think Joey\u2019s done here. He\u2019s definitely going to want to know why somebody fingered \u201cSledge\u201d Hammer when he didn\u2019t do anything.” Kam added, “What I found most surprising was Haley feeling guilty about setting up a vagrant for her mugging. It\u2019s interesting to know that while she doesn\u2019t mind stepping on the rich and powerful, she does have some qualms about doing harm to those of lower status.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n Like me, Vanessa getting the best of LSD was on the minds of viewers… and others want the show to go ever farther.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The basketball scenes seemed to receive universal praise, something that’s very rare in today’s world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There’s at least one viewer worried that Grayson’s involvement in the blood theft might put former lovers back together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n That’s all I have for this week’s My View From Beyond the Gates column. Thank you for reading and, as always, please feel free to share your thoughts on my column or Beyond the Gates<\/em> in the Comments section below.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you’ve enjoyed my column this week and want to see what I have written about Beyond the Gates<\/em> in previous weeks, you can check those out in the My View From Beyond the Gates<\/a><\/strong> archive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Have a penchant for gardening, interior design, or fixing up old houses? Check out my Manor Makeover series<\/a><\/strong> where I write about all of the things I’ve been up to here at Kroll Manor in Allentown, PA, over the past decade.<\/p>\n\n\n\n To keep up with all of the shenanigans I engage in on social media, please consider giving my a follow on Bluesky<\/strong><\/a>, Instagram<\/strong><\/a>, Threads<\/strong><\/a>, Facebook<\/strong><\/a>, and TwitterX<\/strong><\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Two of my former Two Scoops columnists from Soap Central, Liz Masters and Tamilu, have joined me here on my personal web site — and they are still<\/em><\/strong> writing about General Hospital<\/em>. Liz is on deck with week with a new column called, <\/a><\/a>Dial K For Killow<\/a><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\nChief Inspector General Oncologist Auntie Monica<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
(Stolen) Blood, Sweat, and Tears<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Is She or Isn’t She?<\/h5>\n\n\n\n
After The Impaler Falls<\/h5>\n\n\n\n
Brothers In Law<\/h5>\n\n\n\n
Lawyer, Sue Thyself<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Who Puts the Pieces Together?<\/h5>\n\n\n\n
BTG: Beyond the Guffaws<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
The Laugh Heard ‘Round the World<\/h5>\n\n\n\n
The Muppet Show<\/h5>\n\n\n\n
Tripping on LSD<\/h5>\n\n\n\n
Beside, Behind, and Beyond The Gates: The Speed Round<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Cuz You Got to Have Friends<\/h5>\n\n\n\n
Push It<\/strong><\/h5>\n\n\n\n
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Beyond the Gates | Photo: CBS \u00a92026<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\nCryin’<\/h5>\n\n\n\n
Collect the Whole Se<\/strong>t<\/h5>\n\n\n\n
BTG: Beyond the Graphic<\/h5>\n\n\n\n
Quick Takes<\/h5>\n\n\n\n
Beyond the Gates: Lines of the Week<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
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“You don’t do G-rated”<\/strong> — Vanessa and Joey, respectively, when Vanessa said that she had something for Joey.<\/p>\n\n\n\nGatecrashers: Reader and Viewer Feedback<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
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<\/figure>\n\n\n\nFollow my Random Acts of Dan<\/h5>\n\n\n\n
Life outside the gates<\/h5>\n\n\n\n