The not so young, and more than a little restless 

Dear readers, I know this isn’t where you are used to finding me, but sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures. I know that change in life is inevitable, but as the title confesses, I’m not so young anymore and have zero tolerance for shenanigans.

Liz Masters and I love soaps and love you, but no longer loved the environment we were in, and it prompted us to make a change. I hope that you will find us here and that we can dish on soaps together again.

If not, I may lose my mind and start talking to bloody ghosts like Cameron Kirsten who is haunting Sharon and taunting her to kill Daniel. 

Why is it that when The Young and the Restless writers want a front burner story for a lead actress it’s always a mental breakdown? Ashley, Sharon, Nikki- what’s next Audra has panic attacks? Claire becomes paranoid and lethal like Jordan? Tracy inherits the family DID genes? Or maybe Phyllis gets addicted to crack? 

Why can’t they write a story where a woman gets the best of Victor? Like Audra is the one to take him down after all these years? Or Tracy figures out that Alan is his evil twin brother and strings him along to make a murder podcast exposing his crimes? Or Sally, Chloe, Summer, Phyllis and Chelsea decide to ditch all the men in their lives and start a company focused on female empowerment and rise to the top of the business world in Genoa City. How about that instead of another, “Hey which chick in Genoa City hasn’t gone batshit crazy yet?” Enough.

Readers, I don’t know about where you live, but where I live, I cannot see every star in the sky. The last time I saw a clear sky filled with stars, I was at sea in the middle of the ocean. There is absolutely no way that anyone in Genoa City is seeing that many stars in the sky. There is no city in America where you can get a star view like that with all of the light pollution. They would have to be out at sea to get that view.

What do you think of Devon and Abby’s wedding plans? Are they destined for happily ever after, or not so much? To be truthful. I have never found them to be the most riveting couple. Devon needs a firebrand like Amanda Sinclair to spar with him. Abby, who came on the scene as a wild child, the “Naked Heiress” has been diluted and has lost the character’s edge. I wish they would bring that side of her back. We did see a glimpse of that version of Abby when she voted against Devon in the board room recently. But that little wrinkle was left behind and we are back to status quo. 

Which brings me to this — Devon and Lily have lost both of their parents, and they have seemed off balance to me ever since they lost Neil. He was their touchstone. Since Y&R can bring Diane back from the dead, and forgive the fake dead Phyllis, and find a way for ghost Cameron to be back on canvas — why not Drucilla Winters? 

Can you imagine Drucilla bursting back into town like the tornado she is and shaking things up? I don’t care what story they have to tell to get her here, it can be memory loss, kidnapping, got a fatal health diagnosis and finally beat it but was afraid to come back — I don’t care, I just think it would liven up the Winters family to have her back

Lily in particular is spinning out. She’s so far gone she actually believes that she can trust Victor Newman to keep his word just because he was once fond of Neil. Of course, Victor is using her to his own ends and will toss her aside as soon as she has outlived her usefulness. Will Lily eventually regret double crossing Billy when she discovers Victor’s plan is to make her second banana to his wife? 

Perhaps, but in the meantime, Billy has a new partner, Phyllis. Phyllis says that she is willing to be Billy’s loyal attack dog and take on any challengers right by his side. How long will that last? Well, Phyllis has an attention span as short as mine, so probably not long. Just until something new and shiny comes along.

Unless they become a couple. With Billy and Chelsea on the outs and Victoria involved with Cole, I can see the writers either pointing Billy in Sally’s direction, or Phyllis’. Since he’s so full of ego and anger right now, Phyllis would stoke that flame, whereas Sally would try to be the voice of reason. It’s a matter of what the writers have in store for Billy. Is he going to win this time? Are they allowing him to mature as a character and prove to everyone he was right? I doubt that will be the way things go because Jill is supposed to make an appearance in Genoa City and my hunch is that she is not coming to town to congratulate him.

Billy has non-work-related problems, too. His relationship with Chelsea is over, and as of the end of Friday’s episode, it appeared as if he was about to get into a fistfight with Adam.

Adam ignored Chelsea’s pleas to stop talking about the two of them reuniting and bolted from the restaurant. Billy leapt to defend her despite the fact that two of them are not together. But let’s be honest, he just wants an excuse to fight Adam, and really can you blame him? I bet if there was a carnival with a “Punch Adam” booth half of Genoa City would be in line with a crisp dollar bill in hand waiting for their turn.

Readers, I have mixed feelings here. I used to love Adam and Chelsea, but their relationship wasn’t always the healthiest. However, Chelsea’s relationship with Billy, as I noted in my last column… in the place which cannot be mentioned, was a delicate and tender relationship. I have to pull for that one despite Adam and Chelsea’s history and despite the adorable Connor hoping that his parents will reunite.

Hey Adam!  What about Sally, Adam? Did you forget the baby you lost a year ago and everything you had to do to find your way back together? But here I am being all judgey about soap characters, when many times over the course of my life I have been torn between the past and the future and unable to decide which was the best course of action. So, I will just enjoy their messiness just like I enjoyed mine. Ha!

What will happen tomorrow dear readers? Will Nikki start hitting the vodka again when she looks in the mirror tomorrow and realizes she doesn’t like her bangs? Will Daniel, Heather and Lucy go to Portugal to visit Grandpa Paul before the voices in Sharon’s head make her kill them? Will Cole tell Victoria that Victor has forbidden him to date her so then she will want to go to Vegas and elope just to spite her dad? Will Claire and Kyle get to have a real first date without her parents doubling with them? Will the new CBS Soap Beyond the Gates get an audience to convince other networks to create new soaps, too? Will anyone find this column in the vast landscape of the internet?

Only tomorrow knows dear readers and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows. — Tamilu