Rock you like a hurricane

Dear readers, if you wonder why I’ve been absent, it’s because my husband and I were riders on the storm — one of the 10 million people in Florida ordered to evacuate for Hurricane Milton. I will talk about my experience for a bit, so if that doesn’t interest you, and you just want to get straight to General Hospital, skip over all of this. But I need to write about it; you are the audience I write for.

I lived in San Diego, California, for 25 years and would still be there if I were rich. I tell you with great confidence that I would take earthquakes over hurricanes any day. But alas.

We moved to Florida at the end of 2019, and Covid hit, so sometimes it feels like we have been under a state of emergency of one sort or another since we left California. Being evacuated from a hurricane is not a fun vacation. First, the weather says, “We are watching a little action over in the gulf.” Okay, cool. People ignore this first warning because it might be nothing. Then they say, “Hey, that little thing in the gulf is picking up steam; it looks like it may become a tropical storm.” Okay, cool. Maybe you go to Costco and buy a case of water and some chips. If you’re like me, also the six-pack of wine.

Then, the meteorologists get more serious. “The tropical storm is organizing. It is likely to become a hurricane. Sit down with your family and come up with your hurricane plan,” they advise. Well, my family has spent the past two years totally hurricane-proofing our house: new roof, new hurricane-proof windows and doors, generator installed, etc. So, our plan is to sit inside, clamp down all of our locks, and eat snacks for three days.

But then they say, “Uh-Oh. This thing has grown into a beast. It’s going to bring 15 feet of storm surge to your neighborhood. It doesn’t matter if your house is hurricane-proof; the water will be over your roof.” Additionally, they show graphics of the weather anchor with a 15-foot storm surge over her head and remind you that Asheville, NC, was just washed away — and they are nowhere near the ocean — whereas you have a canal in your backyard. Then they say, “GET OUT.”

The officials literally told us, “If you don’t leave, you will die.” One especially chilling warning was, “Write your name on your body in Sharpie so the officials can identify your corpse.” (I am not making that up.)

And so, we left. Ten million Floridians got on the highway the same day and drove hundreds of miles. My husband and I booked a night in Savannah, Georgia, which is typically a six-hour drive for us. It took 12 hours in bumper-to-bumper traffic and was the most stressful drive I’ve ever taken, and I am a serious road tripper. No gas. No place to stop that wasn’t lined up for hours. Everyone was tense being stuck on an endless highway of cars with a massive storm barreling down on us.

The storm raged at 185 miles per hour, and it looked like it might wipe the entire Gulf coast of Florida off the map. I started crying. I left my mother’s ashes behind. I left my father’s WW2 flag. I left my guitar, my journals, my Christmas ornaments. I was deeply regretful and in total fear. I only grabbed a metal box of documents and a few clothes because time was of the essence. I didn’t think I’d have a home to go back to. I was worried about my family we live with because they went in the opposite direction to evacuate, and I couldn’t reach them. I am experiencing PTSD and have a rapid heartbeat right now, just writing about it.

When we got to Georgia, they said, “Oops, now the storm will hit Savannah, too.” We drove further north and spent the night in Mount Airy, NC, the real-life Mayberry. We stayed at the hotel filled with Andy Griffith stuff, which was oddly calming to my heart. The next day, we kept driving north until we hit our hometown in Ohio. I assumed we would be without a house for weeks or months, so I wanted to be HOME. The storm weakened. It hit our area as a Cat 3 instead of 5, but it still destroyed many businesses and flooded our town massively. Today, parts of my town are still unreachable.

Did you see the parking garage where Jim Cantore was filming and had to go to the second level as the flood waters rose? That’s two miles from my house; I cross that bridge almost daily. So, I thought for sure we were doomed. I was sitting in a Home2Suites, watching my town washing away. But by some miracle, our little house was untouched. I read a meme that said, “You can be thankful and heartbroken at the same time.” That sums it up.

I am thankful our home was spared, but I am heartbroken for those who lost their homes, their businesses, or even their lives in this storm—the third one in two months. (Debby, Helene, Milton.) I. Am. Weary.

Back to our General Hospital stories

HEY GH PEOPLE—I am finally getting to soaps. I spent nine days in hotels that didn’t have Wi-Fi strong enough to stream, so although I packed my Apple TV, I couldn’t get Hulu and was behind on GH. I got home and camped in my room, binging hours of soaps. My dear friend and co-scooper Liz warned me not to get on social media so I wouldn’t see the spoilers about the week’s bombshell revelations, and I am so thankful that she did!

Kissing cousins

Holly is Sasha’s mom? Cody’s cousin? Ew! Robin’s half-sister? Ethan’s half-sister? So, Sasha has been kissing her first cousin for months? Gross. Are we also to believe that Holly didn’t show up when Sasha lost Liam, or when she lost Brando, or when Gladys stole all of Sasha’s money, or when she became addicted to pills? This is so out of the blue and is going to require such a convoluted explanation to answer all of our burning questions.

I understand that soaps like having characters tied to core families. As a rule, I like that, too, but in this case, I was okay with Sasha just being her own woman. It is possible that Holly is lying because she has some scheme in the works, but I also kind of like the idea of Robert having a new daughter to love, just as Mac has a new son. But I liked Sasha and Cody together, so that couple will evaporate. Since Holly confided in Maxie and Felicia today, and now that Robert and Sasha have had a paternity test done, it seems less likely that Holly is lying.

Sasha will probably have to give up Cody, but she may get Michael back after he discovers that Willow is macking on Drew.

The two faces of Drew

My precious readers, I know it’s wrong to compare actors and the recast roles they take on, but when I think of how much I adored Billy Miller’s Drew and how much I despise Cameron Mathison’s Drew, it’s hard for me not to compare. Drew’s character has gone from hero to zero, and I loathe him more every day. I hope he gets elected, leaves Port Charles, and stays in Washington forever.

Kelly Monaco’s exit as Sam McCall

Likewise, I am angry at ABC’s decision to ax Kelly Monaco and kill off Sam while keeping her constantly shrieking sisters Molly and Kristina. I can’t come up with the right words to express myself in a family-friendly column.
First of all, the storyline possibilities with Sam McCall, Lulu, and Dante are endless. I anticipated Dante being torn between two women he loves or Sam turning to her ex-Jason for comfort and support, but Sam is being killed off, eliminating all of those wonderful options.

Kelly Monaco said it was a retaliation firing, and I have to believe her. I agree with her that the writers have systematically stripped Sam of the core of the character we love. Kelly’s direct quote is, “‘No primary role’… do your homework. When Billy Miller was fired, Sam’s storyline stopped. Stripping Sam of every characteristic she had. Something I worked for decades to build… Slowly dismantling her into a character that I did not recognize, let alone the audience. Call it what you will… retaliation at its finest. I will give a proper statement. The truth will set you free.”

Perhaps this is cruel of me to say, but I would rather General Hospital kill off both of Sam’s whiny recast sisters and keep Kelly. Bye, Molly! Bye, Kristina! (Oh, and let’s throw in Natalia, too.) Molly and Kristina were never core characters and were rarely used until the roles were recast with actors who, in my humble opinion, were inferior to the originals. Meanwhile, Sam has been a major player in the show for decades and has woven a rich tapestry of storylines, interacting with every major player in Port Charles.

No one cares about the baby drama or Molly and Kristina’s endless bickering. But we do care about Sam, Danny, Scout, Rocco, and Dante and the family they have built. We care about Sam’s relationship with Jason, Spinelli, and Alexis. I do not understand this decision by the powers that be, and I hate it.

Welcome back Jonathan Jackson

Now that I have that off my chest… WOW, am I happy that Jonathan Jackson is back on the show. His soulfulness as an actor is unmatched. When he is onscreen, I cannot look away; my heart is fully engaged, and if he cries, I am tearing up with him. He’s had that since he started General Hospital as a kid. Just like Nicholas A Chavez captivated us as Spencer in this era, Jonathan Jackson mesmerized us as Lucky, even as a child. I love that he’s back, that his chemistry with Liz is still fire, that his connection to Laura is still so palpable, that he is still so incredibly emotive. It’s going to be a glorious season of GH.

As for Liz, it appears that getting rid of the anchor known as Finn has catapulted Rebecca Herbst into the center of GH again. With her exes Ric, Jason, and Lucky in town and her ex-Nikolas tucked away in Pentonville, the storyline possibilities for Liz are endless.

I have seen rumors that Scott Reeves may return as soon as Liz’s brother Steven, adding another layer of family connection to her world. I am delighted by all of this; Elizabeth has been one of my favorites for so long, and seeing her shine front and center brings me joy. While I enjoyed her with all of her exes, I am still a hardcore L&L2 fan, so if Liz and Lucky find their way back together, you will see zero complaints from me.

Suspicious mind

Readers, should I be suspicious that Cyrus was in the room with Lulu, and then her ventilator suddenly malfunctioned? I want to think Cyrus’ conversion is genuine, but I can never trust him 100%. We finally had a scene with Laura, Martin, and Cyrus all in the room together. I did appreciate that Martin’s siblings finally acknowledged his lack of accent and facial hair. It was too weird for there to be such a drastic change without anyone saying anything.

What do you think Cyrus is really up to? Is he there for Lulu’s spiritual well-being, or does he have nefarious motives? As for Martin, since Lucy is out of the picture, do we see Martin potentially being paired with Alexis, Ava, or someone else?

Battle of General Hospital: Brad versus Portia

You may think I’m on the wrong side of this issue, but I’m Team Brad right now. I am glad he has Portia pinned to the wall with his low-key blackmail about her changing Heather’s medical tests about Metallosis. I like him being back at General Hospital, and I predict he and Nu-Lucas will eventually repair their damaged relationship and reunite. Portia has not been someone that I have been particularly fond of since she was trying to break up Spencer and Trina, and I dislike her judgment towards Brad about his past sins when she committed the same sins. (Tampering with a medical test) I’m glad Brad got one over on her.

Sonny’s code of honor

Which brings me to Sonny. Sonny was going to do the honorable thing for once and confess to his crimes to save Carly, Kristina, and Alexis, but he was spared by the missing gun mysteriously appearing in the nick of time to free Alexis.

My guess is that it was Jack Brennan. Anna continues to warn Carly about Jack, but Carly characteristically dismisses her concerns. Is it possible Jack is really into Carly, or is he using her for some purpose that has yet to be revealed? Right now, I am just enjoying their chemistry.

Sonny is seemingly going to get away with murder again, and this time, he nearly took Dante down with him. Dante had a deep internal struggle about tipping his father off to the new evidence before Sonny confessed needlessly. I am glad Dante ultimately never had to make that choice.

Soon, Dante’s world will both fall apart and come to life. If Lulu wakes up, and she will, Dante and Rocco will get their family back, but what happens to Scout and Danny? Will Jason give up his life of crime to raise Danny and take Brennan up on his offer to be in the WSB? Will creepy Drew raise Scout? You know, the daughter whose name he carved into his prison walls for years but now never sees? I hope he doesn’t because he’s a terrible person.

What’s the story with Gio, General Hospital?

Also, I need help figuring out the deal with Lois and Gio. Is Gio’s Sonny’s kid? Did Lois have some fling with Sonny twenty years ago that we don’t know about? Every time we hear Gio talk about not knowing his dad, Lois gets a faraway look in her eyes and looks guilty. Then there’s the fact that Sonny pays for Gio’s education out of the goodness of his heart – which may mean nothing but may mean something. Also, I am glad Lois amended her “no accent” decree to “sometimes accent. Clearly, Ned loves her just as she does.

Farewell, Violet

The Quartermaine family loves Violet, too – but we got word that mysteriously, somewhere offscreen, Finn is out of rehab, moved to Seattle the day he completed rehab, and that some hospital hired a guy fresh off rehab, sight unseen. Not only that, but Finn is off doing interior decorating in some new apartment in Seattle. And instead of Finn coming to Port Charles to pick up Violet, we are shoving Violet’s stuff into a suitcase and shipping her off alone on a cross-country flight. Sure. Got it. Makes perfect sense. I have no questions. (Bonkers.)

All hail the soap queens

And now, just a shout-out to two soap queens — Genie Francis and Jane Elliot. Their scene on Friday as Tracy and Laura talked about Lulu, motherhood, Luke and life was brilliant, warm, and wonderful. The two of them have so much heart in every scene they do that when they are onscreen together, it’s like stars lighting up a night sky. I adore them, and Lulu is one lucky lady to have them both in her corner.

What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will we ever see Nu-Lu’s face or just a mass of tubes? Will Lucky apologize to Joss for making her clean up his tantrum mess at Bobbie’s? Will Dex cheat on Joss and have a fling with shrieking Molly? Will Spinelli hire the new PI with the adorable dog who looks like a tenant from Only Murders in the Building when his current partner in McCall/Jackal PI perishes? Will Ace ever stop being the cutest baby on earth? Will Cameron ever come home for a visit as he promised when he left? Will Brad blackmail Portia into a raise while he is at it? Will Lucas and Auntie Ava please discover Julian is still alive? Will Kristina ever listen to people who tell her she’s making things worse, or will she continue to erroneously believe she is making things better? Will Sonny invite Ric for Thanksgiving and ask him to make his famous bourbon sweet potatoes? (It’s real; I have his recipe.) Will I ever figure out why Ric wasn’t going to tell the truth about the gun he saw Alexis chucking over the bridge? Will Hat Daddy be at the airport for his tour the same day as Violet so they can sit together on the plane?

Only tomorrow knows, dear readers, and I will tune in tomorrow as long as there are tomorrows. (Or until the next hurricane.) – Tamilu

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